Logo Homeschool World ® Official Web Site of Practical Homeschooling Magazine Practical Homeschooling Magazine
Practical Homeschooling® :

On Falling in Love

By Sam Blumenfeld
Printed in Practical Homeschooling #94, 2010.

Sam explores the connection between being homeschooled and future success in love

   Pin It

Sam Blumenfeld

Falling in love with the person one is going to marry is no doubt the most thrilling experience in one’s life. It is an exhilarating time, as if living on cloud nine, and the sight of the person we love is the most beautiful sight in the world.

But where does this wonderful emotion of love come from?

The experience of love for the human being begins soon after birth, between the helpless infant and loving parents. Have you ever looked at an infant in its mother’s or father’s arms, awake or asleep, totally secure and protected? All of the love that infant experiences is totally unearned. It is unconditional. And for the infant it determines its view of life: is the world warm and benevolent or cold and malevolent? Is life a source of happiness or misery?

Not all infants are fortunate enough to have parents who love them and tend to their needs. But all human infants are totally dependent on others to feed them and cloth them during those first few years of life. And if that early experience is one of pain and frustration, that individual’s view of life will be an unhappy one. But even an individual with a damaged childhood need not turn into a dysfunctional human being. Many of them, humbled by the lack of early love, are able to respond positively to the love of others. The power of love should never be underestimated.

That is why I believe that homeschooling parents will generally have good marriages that endure—because of those early experiences of love. When parents not only feed and cloth their children but also teach them, the experience of parental love is that much greater.

Some years ago I came across an interesting survey in one of the popular magazines. The survey asked children what they wanted most, and the answer was “more time with my parents.” I’ve never forgotten that response, and it explained to me why the homeschool movement has grown as it has.

Love begins as a feeling of warm attachment and security in the infant who experiences the tender kisses of a parent, the times of feeding, bathing, and clothing, the parents’ constant concern for the well-being of that tiny, helpless child.

As the child grows older, learns to speak the language, and finally to walk, he or she experiences a new emotion known as separation anxiety. The result is that emotional attachment replaces physical attachment. It is a necessary part of growth and the development of an independent sense of life. But the emotional attachment will endure for the rest of one’s life.

Dysfunctional families are the victims of emotional confusion and frustration. Their members were not able to develop the needed secure and warm attachments that come naturally with loving parents in those early days of total dependency. That is another reason why homeschooled children will no doubt have better marriages than those who come from dysfunctional families.

Love is at the heart of homeschooling, and that is why it is a superior form of family life and education. It provides happiness between parents and children and among the siblings themselves. When homeschoolers meet other homeschoolers there is a mutual sense of what family life can be when it is filled with children. They want to repeat the happy times they had with their own parents.

Since no two families are alike, generalizations about homeschool families have to be taken with a grain of salt. I’m sure there are some homeschool families that don’t quite live up to the ideal we have set.

Each homeschool family is like a little academy. Some families are musically oriented, others are more devoted to the arts, and others to science and invention. The interests of parents are easily conveyed to their children, and children are free to develop their own interests. Homeschooling families are known to create their own family businesses in which everyone takes part.

But there comes a time when the young adult will seek a love relationship outside the family. And where will that young adult find a future mate? Perhaps at church, or at a homeschool support group, or at summer camp, or at a graduate school, or even via an Internet acquaintance with another homeschooler. You can be sure that the homeschooler will bring to that relationship an expansive sense of love acquired from parents who gave that child their time, knowledge, encouragement, and love of God.

Born and educated in New York City, Samuel Blumenfeld has written ten books on education, including several that are considered homeschool classics. His phonics program, Alpha-Phonics, and How to Tutor the Three R’s, are available from Ross House Books, 209-736-4365 ext. 12.

Was this article helpful to you?
Subscribe to Practical Homeschooling today, and you'll get this quality of information and encouragement five times per year, delivered to your door. To start, click on the link below that describes you:

USA Individual
USA Librarian (purchasing for a library)
Outside USA Individual
Outside USA Library

University of Nebraska High School
Free Email Newsletter!
Sign up to receive our free email newsletter, and up to three special offers from homeschool providers every week.

Articles by Sam Blumenfeld

The Whole-Language Boondoggle

High School for Freedom!

Dyslexia: The Man-Made Disease

Teach Reading to the “Learning Disabled”

Uncle Sam Wants Your Child on his National Database

Why the Internet will Never Replace Books

Teach Reading to the "Learning Disabled"

Homeschooling and Charter Schools

Homeschoolers and Vouchers

The History of Public Education

College At Home

Learning from The "Old Dead Guys"

The Meaning of Educational Freedom

The Importance of Rote Learning

The Exodus Continues

A World Without Public School

The Benefits of Teaching History at Home

How to Tell Real from Phony Phonics?

Getting Started in Arithmetic

Teaching Arithmetic

Teaching the Alphabet

Teaching the Alphabet Sounds

Teaching Blends

Teaching Long Vowels

The History of Geometry Education

Never Bored Again

Learning Greek

How and Why to Teach Shakespeare

How to Get the Most Out of Homeschool Conventions

Forgotten American History: The Barbary Wars

Forgotten American History: God's Providence in the American Revolution

Forgotten American History: The Spanish-American War

Forgotten American History: The Great Awakening

Forgotten American History: Puritan Education

Colonial Education: The Free Market in Action

America Started with Educational Freedom

How Harvard Became Liberal

The Glory of the Alphabet

19th Century Communists & the Origin of American Public Education

The Benefits of Cursive Writing

It Pays to Know Your Legislator

Intelligent by Design

Teaching Kids to Enjoy Classical Music

Before Compulsory Education: The Private Academies

What Schools Teach: Then and Now

The Real Meaning of Easter

The Truth About Independence Day

The Benefits of Reading Biographies

Why We Celebrate Veterans Day

The Purposes of Education

Why Homeschoolers Should be Book Collectors

How History Was Taught Back Then

The American Almanac: A Great Learning Tool

The Fun of Going to an Antiques Auction

Politics and Homeschoolers: A Primer

A Novel Suggestion

Who Wrote Shakespeare?

Why Homeschoolers Should Learn Public Speaking

The Presidency

Party Politics in the United States

The Road to an American Independent Nation

George Washington: Our First President's First Term

George Washington: Our First President's Second Term

Celebrating Flag Day

Going to School Back in the Great Depression

Middle School During the Great Depression

High School During the Depression

Inventions and Progress

On Falling in Love

A Taste of the Old Days

The True Root of American Freedom

Classical Gems on YouTube

Curing Dyslexia

How to Increase Your Vocabulary

The Joy of Journaling

Popular Articles

A Homeschooler Wins the Heisman

I Was an Accelerated Child

Why the Internet will Never Replace Books

The Equal Sign - Symbol, Name, Meaning

Can Homeschoolers Participate In Public School Programs?

The Charlotte Mason Approach to Poetry

The Gift of a Mentor

Whole-Language Boondoggle

Saxon Math: Facts vs. Rumors

Who Needs the Prom?

Start a Nature Notebook

Teach Your Children to Work

What We Can Learn from the Homeschooled 2002 National Geography Bee Winners

Getting Started in Homeschooling: The First Ten Steps

Top Tips for Teaching Toddlers

How to "Bee" a Spelling Success

The History of Public Education

A Reason for Reading

Montessori Language Arts at Home, Part 1

Art Appreciation the Charlotte Mason Way

Top Jobs for the College Graduate

Narration Beats Tests

Classical Education

Interview with John Taylor Gatto

AP Courses At Home

Don't Give Up on Your Late Bloomers

Teaching Blends

Give Yourself a "CLEP Scholarship"

Shakespeare Camp

Columbus and the Flat Earth...

Character Matters for Kids

Discover Your Child's Learning Style

Getting Organized Part 1 - Tips & Tricks

What Does My Preschooler Need to Know?

Advanced Math: Trig, PreCalc, and more!

Joyce Swann's Homeschool Tips

Bears in the House

University Model Schools

Myth of the Teenager

Montessori Math

The Benefits of Debate

The Benefits of Cursive Writing

Phonics the Montessori Way

Getting Organized Part 3

Patriarchy, Meet Matriarchy

Critical Thinking and Logic

Laptop Homeschool

The Charlotte Mason Method

How to Win the Geography Bee

Combining Work and Homeschool

Terms of Use   Privacy Policy
Copyright ©1993-2021 Home Life, Inc.