In 1955 Ernest Borgnine won an Oscar for his portrayal of a
plain-looking but likable guy named Marty. The story is so
true to life that it would bore movie audiences
today—no murder, no sex, no explosions.
It’s a love story centering around two wall flowers who fall in love
with each other in spite of their society’s “pin-up” ideals. But as I
watched the film, I saw more than a story of true loving triumphing over
adversity; I saw the sad story of people walking through their lives
without the church.
First there’s Marty, a slightly overweight butcher who at age 34 is
still unmarried. Each day after work he divides his evening between his
bachelor pals at the local diner and his widowed Italian mother whom he
lives with. His mother’s favorite question: “Why dontcha find a nice
girl, Marty?”
But Marty has resigned himself to being alone. He’s been hurt too many
times to go out looking anymore. He can’t bear to spend another night at
the dance hall being rejected by girls.
You don’t really pity Marty; he doesn’t waste time feeling sorry for
himself. What’s depressing is the meaninglessness of the world he moves
in. He has nowhere to serve, no environment in which his tender heart
and compassionate spirit can be appreciated by others. Yes, Marty goes
to Mass on Sundays, but he’s missing a body of believers encouraging,
challenging and loving him. Marty doesn’t have a church.
His circle of single friends is similarly handicapped. They are the
picture of wasted life. The smoke-heavy air at the diner carries mundane
conversations about the best spots to meet girls and plans for the
evenings that never pan out.
“So whadda ya wanna do?”
“I don’t know, whadda you feel like doin?”
“Let’s play cards.”
“Naaah, we always play cards.”
“Let’s go down to 72nd and meet some dolls.”
“Naaah, too far.”
“So whadda ya wanna do?”
“I don’t know, whadda you feel like doin?”
And on and on it goes.
Concerned solely with their own immediate needs, they waste another
evening dreaming up the next thrill. No direction, no community—no
church.
Another character in the movie is Marty’s aunt Catarina. She comes to
live with Marty and his mother after being “kicked out” of her son’s
home. “These are the worst years of a mother’s life” she states like a
martyr. Though she’s a hard-nosed woman, her plea is a sad one. She
wants to be useful. She wants to cook and clean for her family. But now
her husband is dead and her children are grown. She annoys her
daughter-in-law.
She feels useless.
Though in a very different season of life, Catarina faces the same
problem as the lazy bachelors hanging out at the diner. She needs a
family larger than that of her now grown children. She needs a family
that can connect her to the young mother who would love the extra help
of a grandma around the house. She needs a family that would put her
still skillful hands to work serving others. She needs the church.
The church. We take it for granted, but what a glorious thing it is.
With all of its mistakes and blunders throughout the centuries, it
marches on. Though the fiery darts have fallen, the gates of hell have
not prevailed.
The church, that idea formed in the mind of God. That incredible
institution, not merely of bricks and stone, but of living breathing
humans, making up what the Apostle Paul described as the “Body of
Christ”; an organism compromised of individuals who each have a unique,
vital role to play.
God planned for the church to harness the energy of the single adult and
direct it into worship and service in His kingdom. The church was
supposed to care for the widow and unite her with useful service in
families. But for Marty and his friends, the church was missing.
I believe God has a special purpose for homeschool families. But if we
take for granted the uniqueness and importance of God’s church we’ll end
up like the characters in the movie: disconnected, alone and not even
sure what’s missing in our lives.
God has blessed and continues to bless the home school “movement” with
its radical approach to education and the family. But if the
independence and free-spirit of this movement moves us away from the
Body of Christ, we’re headed in the wrong direction.
The challenging new approaches to child training, education, and even
courtship found among home schoolers will only have a lasting affect for
God’s Kingdom if they’re shared within the larger community of God’s
church.
Hebrews 10:24-25 states, “And let us consider how we may spur one
another on toward love and good deeds. Let us not give up meeting
together, as some are in the habit of doing, but let us encourage one
another—and all the more as you see the Day approaching.”
The Body of Christ needs our revolutionary outlook on the role of the
family. And with all our self-reliance the fact is that we need them,
too.
Joshua Harris is the editor of New Attitude, the Christian magazine for
home-school teens. He’s currently working on his first book entitled I
Kissed Dating Goodbye. Drop him a note at New Attitude, P.O. Box 249,
Gresham, OR 97030. Internet: DOIT4JESUS@AOL.COM
