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Son with anxiety, I don't know where to start, please help

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Joined: 14 Jan 2010
Posts: 1

PostPosted: Thu Jan 14, 2010 12:34 pm    Post subject: Son with anxiety, I don't know where to start, please help Reply with quote

Hello everyone,

This is my first post and I am looking for a little direction. I am so overwhelmed with stress and I have always found forums to be a great place for support. My name is Amanda and I am a 28 year old at home mom from Canada. I have a son who is seven and a daughter who is nine. My husband and I have been happily married for ten years.

I will try to make this long story as short as possible. I do tend to be long winded Wink My son Nathan is seven. He has been suffering from severe school related anxiety since the last week of September. He cries from the moment we wakes up until later in the afternoon when he tries to settle at school. These panic attacks usually involve vomiting, dissiness and shaking. This past week he has completely refused to go and this morning my neighbor offered to take him for us. He took off his seat belt and opened the door of the moving vehicle a couple times. That was scary. He is so afraid and out of control. I could go on at length over how bad his panic attacks are. We have been in close contact with the school, set up a school counselor, seen the pediatrician several times. Now we are waiting for the referral to be set up for a psychiatric assessment which may result in medication. We are also on a waiting list for Children's Mental Health to get involved but I have limited faith in them.

I called the school today to see how Nathan was and they informed me he was having an emotional breakdown and they were going to call the Children's Aid (CPS in the USA) because there was nothing more they could do at this point. I came and picked him up because there is no way on earth that I want these people involved in my life. We are great parents who don't abuse our children and we are trying to help our son any way we can. The school basically can't help him so we are now going to home school until he has his assessment and possible medication then I will see how things go.

I am still working with the school for now. We have to get a doctor's note to confirm he requires home schooling services then they will provide work and a teacher will come into our home three days a week to help out. We tend to be private people and I am not thrilled about having someone come over on a regular basis but it is the best we can come up with for now. Nathan is struggling in school and if I see an improvement at home, we may consider doing it all on our own.

I guess I am just very overwhelmed at this point. We had a very bad day yesterday where we couldn't get Nathan to school at all. He screamed and cried for several hours. I broke down as well and have not really recovered yet. The problem has been going on so long now and it has taken its toll on our family. Now today, I have just learned that I have a son to teach every day and things are going to turn upside down for awhile. Its just too much. I look forward to meeting everyone and learning what things work for you. I'm just so lost.

Thanks for reading my long post
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Joined: 22 Mar 2007
Posts: 735
Location: S.Indiana

PostPosted: Fri Jan 15, 2010 6:00 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Amanda, I admire your bravery in sharing a little piece of your story. These are the times when I wish I had some wise and comforting words to share. I feel for you. Crying or Very sad

If it's at all possible, I think Nathan would do well with some time to "chill" with you at home... putting formal lessons on the backburner. Am I right in assuming that his panic comes only with the prospect of having to go to school?
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Joined: 17 Dec 2008
Posts: 26

PostPosted: Fri Jan 15, 2010 2:15 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

It is always possible that he is reacting to being separated from his family. However, having worked in the public school system I would first suspect that something is happening at school.

I always recommend parents visit their children's classes (and playground activities) often unannounced. It sounds like it has gone beyond that for you now though. Little boys often have trouble expressing what is bothering them unless having a discussion while in some activity such as playing basketball. Involving a child counselor at this point is a good idea.
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