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In need of change...

 
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lovinffhmusic
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Joined: 23 Mar 2011
Posts: 2
Location: Indiana

PostPosted: Wed Mar 23, 2011 1:00 pm    Post subject: In need of change... Reply with quote

Hello,

Firstly, I'd like to note that I wasn't sure where to put this thread, but since I noticed the other post by someone looking for encouragement and advice in this forum, I figured I would put it here. However, if the mods think another forum would be better suited, please move. Smile

Secondly, I have a ton of thoughts rolling through my mind, so please bear with me if I begin to ramble.

I am a high school Junior and have been homeschooled by my mother since kindergarten. I've gotten in a rut, and I need to figure out some way to change that.

You see, my mother never started saving for college for my sister and me. Now that we're both headed that direction (my sister this year, me next fall), we're struggling to afford a mere $3k per year tuition. I want to make it to either Full Sail college in FL or Radford University in Virginia, but both are $35k total colleges. Unless I manage to secure an extreme scholarship (which requires good grades), or we move in state, it's pretty much impossible.

Ever since I was a kid, I've always struggled with laziness and procrastination. Each year it's gotten worse; this year has been the height of it, with putting off Chemistry, History, and/or Algebra homework sometimes for 2 weeks at a time. At that point, I have to cram 2 weeks worth of reading into 1-2 days, and then I'm at the procrastination again. This has happened probably 4 or 5 times this year alone, and for some reason, this most recent time I haven't been able to get back on my feet.

About a month ago, I began a routine where I was getting all of my homework done in the morning, going to work in the afternoon, coming home to do chores, goof off, then at night, I would catch up on anything I was behind on, late on, or didn't finish that morning. I made sure to not listen to my iPod unless I finished all of that day's duties accomplished. But that lasted only 2 weeks, and I fell off the wagon. I haven't been able to get back up yet.

Last year, I was getting up at 7 AM and going to bed at 9PM; I did this the entire year, and never got out of bed later than I should. But this year, even though I started out well, it failed. I'm now making it off to be at 10PM and rolling out of bed a 8:45AM. By that time, I'm no longer in the mood to work, since I work best when it's dark out and everyone else is asleep. However, since I am too tired at that time these days, I can't even get out of bed until 8AM or later.

I don't want this to happen in Senior year. I want Senior year to be the best that I've ever had, since it will obviously be my last.

I think part of it is that my Mom's my teacher. She was never a strict teacher - pretty much let me do what I wanted, did not punish for late work, etc. While I thought that was wonderful at the time, I realize now just how much that has hurt me over the years. And I think part of that was the fact that I probably pushed her into behaving that way for my temporary benefit. I have also learned through that behavior of mine (and hers in not standing up against me) that it's okay to not study very well, because if I don't know something on a test, I can just check with her. I'll have her open the test book, direct her to what number, and ask "Is this (fill in the blank here)?" If the answer's a no, then I keep asking different answers until I get it right. I realize now that can't do that in college. In order to get good grades, I must study hard and study long.

I know that if I had been in public school, I wouldn't have had that problem. My teacher would not have stood for that behavior, and I would have learned my lesson quickly. But I might also have had the peer pressure at a very formidable age. And that I'm grateful for, since I've developed extremely strong pro-abstinence, pro-Christianity, anti-alcohol/drug opinions.

However, at this point, I feel that something needs to change, whether I make it to public high school for senior year or secure a tutor for my subjects. I feel that if my mother were to be my mother and not my teacher as well, that our relationship would be better off. As it is, we fight a lot - mostly over school related things.

I am seeking advice on what to do, because I know that if I confront my mom about this, she will most likely get upset that I feel this way about her being my teacher and start giving me the silent treatment. Rolling Eyes

I would also like to mention that I struggle with reading and concentration - always have. Reading is an extreme chore for me (hence why I put it off so frequently) and usually after the first few problems in Algebra II, my brain gets fatigued and I can't mentally go further. At times, all I want to do is throw something at the wall or scream violently.

However, it's frustrating to me that my Mom can't seem to see my struggles. I suspect that I have some learning disabilities, but I think my mom expects me to be perfect. My sister was having panic attacks and sleep issues, and my Dad had to finally tell my mom that there may actually be something wrong with her before she would admit that there could be.

Instead, if I complain to her about my inability to concentrate or to get stuff done, she essentially tells me to "get over it". She tells me to get back up, and to "buck up soldier," and to an extent, I agree with that. But I feel like at this point, I can't do that "getting back up" any longer.

What suggestions do you have for me for changing my circumstances or lifestyle so that I can rock senior year?

Finally, thank you for taking the time to read this long mess. Smile I appreciate it!
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hscoach
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Joined: 10 Feb 2010
Posts: 345

PostPosted: Wed Mar 23, 2011 2:44 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

I think you should try to sit down and talk to your mom. Maybe she could help you when you have to work on school assignments that are frustrating. For example, she could do algebra with you or read aloud to you. If she isn't aware of the problems, then she won't know how to help. Also, maybe she would agree to have you tested to find out if you have any learning disabilities. That would be helpful to know for your senior year and college.

Have you considered dual enrollment for your senior year at a local community college? Maybe that would help you.

Or if not, it is really just a matter of self-discipline........as far as making sure school work comes first, waking up on time, etc. If you make your mom aware, maybe she could help you stay on task. I really feel like it is her responsibility, as your teacher, to make sure you are accomplishing things when you should and staying on schedule throughout the school year.

Tell yourself that you will go to bed by 9 and then set your alarm for 7. Put your clock across the room so you can't hit the snooze button. But most importantly, please do talk to your mom. She needs to help out.
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Momma24
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Joined: 17 Oct 2011
Posts: 14
Location: Georgia

PostPosted: Tue Jan 10, 2012 8:11 pm    Post subject: A little late.... Reply with quote

I realize that this comment is a little late for the above post, but it is something that I believe still may need addressing for someone else. Although I would REALLY love to read how all of that turned out, I have to partially agree with the only reply, yet add a little twist. When the homeschooled child has an issue that they feel can't be addressed for fear of hurting/ angering the homeschooling parent, I then believe that this is the time that the two need to sit down with a thrid party, ie...dad, another mature adult.

One problem that I see is that BOTH sides can be one-sided! Sometimes it is very hard to be able to 'think' through what is being said (one either side) without a mediator...a 'neutral' third party!

Just a thought...But communication is certainly the key!!
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