Questioning my motives

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efxmel
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Location: Tennessee

Questioning my motives

Postby efxmel » Sat Oct 24, 2009 8:00 am

Hello to all,
I am new here and trying to comb through all the information here on HS and whether to do it or not.

History: My DS that is currently in 6th grade and frankly is not doing well socially and academically. He was diagnosed with ADD in the 4th grade and has had issues ever since (although he did not know about the diagnosis until a couple of months ago). He is small for his age, socially is immature, and he feels picked-on (bullied are the words he uses). One of his down-falls is that he always makes excuses for himself and sometimes that makes him hard to deal with. He is not medicated and has not been medicated for the past year. With that, he went from a B student to a C and D student. (Mostly because he didn't turn assignments in on time and making careless mistakes). If I had to describe my child in one word, it would be frustrated.

I guess I question whether I should HS him and let him work at his own pace and have less distractions/pressure. I am not convinced that will help him. ADD kids need more structure. But he is unhappy at school, and we are unhappy with his performance. My husband thinks (don't laugh), that DS should have to deal with the "hard knocks" so he can learn to deal with them in life. No... my husband is not evil. He was a little kid too and had to fight to make his way in life. We even discussed holding my son back a year but no teacher advocates that. (His low grades are b/c he doesn't turn things in on time... or sometimes at all. When DS was tested for ADD, they did a IQ test which he tested in the 130s)

What do I do?! HS is such a daunting task and I work part-time. I have been thinking about this for weeks and I keep changing my opinion. It could work and if it did, DS would not want to go back to school. But my DH is not "on board" and I see his point too.

All the professionals just want us to medicate DS and that just doesn't work. His grades go up but he get very irritable and depressed.

Any insight that can help me make a good decision?
Am I being over-protective?

Thanks,
Mel
Relationships are all there is. Everything in the universe only exist b/c it is in relationship to everything else. Nothing exist in isolation. We have to stop pretending we are individuals that can go it alone. - Margaret Wheatley

mandiana
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Postby mandiana » Sat Oct 24, 2009 1:16 pm

Well, the good news is that whatever you choose to do does not have to be permanent. I was against homeschooling at first, but my hubby convinced me to try it for a year. We did a one year trial with our oldest and we all loved it, so we brought our younger 2 home the next year, too. Why not do a year trial?

comusher
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Postby comusher » Mon Nov 02, 2009 9:12 am

Many parents set out to home school on a trial basis. You can do this for one year and see how it goes. If it does not work out then put him back into school. Mostly remember that whatever you do for your child it will work out if you take the time to help them with their education.

roma
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What Teachers Say About Home Schooling Is Surprising

Postby roma » Sun Nov 29, 2009 9:49 am

Teachers are now the biggest influx into the home school venue. This article may help you decide based on what teachers are saying.

http://ezinearticles.com/?Thinking-Abou ... id=2499296
RC

Buggzz
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Re: Questioning my motives

Postby Buggzz » Thu Dec 17, 2009 6:23 am

efxmel wrote:Hello to all,
... He was diagnosed with ADD in the 4th grade and has had issues ever since (although he did not know about the diagnosis until a couple of months ago). He is small for his age, socially is immature, and he feels picked-on (bullied are the words he uses).
... ADD kids need more structure. ...
... When DS was tested for ADD, they did a IQ test which he tested in the 130s)

What do I do?! HS is such a daunting task and I work part-time. ...
Am I being over-protective? ...


It is natural for children to be raised and taught by parents. When my children showed signs of ADD we had him go outside and take a run around the house 10 times. High IQ generally means an active mind that is easily bored.

It seems to me that his active mind is focussed on hating his daily routine because it only brings him pain and frustration. Therefore schooling is not something he deals with adequately.

My belief is that ADD children are going hyper because they do not fit into the structure box and do not need more structure as pyschology proclaims. That is only a method of breaking his spirit and of course drugs can help to that end.

I like the quote from Roma's E-zine article: "Recess and play time are being decreased. Many teachers complain this is creating stress, and forcing little ones to fit into unhealthy and unnatural molds."

Another point that makes HS compatible with family life is the term they use now as "unschooling". Quizzing measurements and fractions, while baking for example. Microbiology and what kills germs and what helps them to grow, while doing dishes or cleaning the bathroom. I did unschooling, myself.
There was still the reading of books and writing reports, of course. :)

dut4
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reply

Postby dut4 » Sat Jan 02, 2010 2:14 pm

There is a great article on homeschooling, you might want to check it out.
http://www.associatedcontent.com/articl ... tml?cat=25

Jill
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Postby Jill » Sat Jan 02, 2010 4:46 pm

mandiana wrote:Well, the good news is that whatever you choose to do does not have to be permanent.


My husband was not on board either, but agreed to a one year trial. He's renewed my "contract" each year since.

Best wishes!
Jill

roma
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Postby roma » Mon Feb 22, 2010 12:57 pm

Bugzz makes some very good points in her post.

I am a private and home school tutor, and am often given the children that others have given up on. Nine times out of ten I find these kids are simply hands on learners. studies show these are 50% of the population. So her suggestion about activity is very important. I use hands on learning tools for these children, and stay away from flash cards and workbooks as much as possible.
RC


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