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Interesting dilemma

 
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jenniferGWOTW
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Joined: 11 Jun 2007
Posts: 12
Location: Canada

PostPosted: Tue Jun 12, 2007 4:23 pm    Post subject: Interesting dilemma Reply with quote

I have four kids. All of them went to ps for the first time this year. The two oldest ones now want to homeschool next year. The two younger ones don't.

I will keep the two youngest ones in school - they're doing fine.

But with the oldest ones it's been eye-opening. They dislike ps because of the KIDS. Yes, their classes are way too easy and boring, but they don't see it as the teachers' fault. They blame the kids. Most of them can't sit still, don't do homework, don't plan to go on to college and are just basically killing time (we live in a small town - rock bottom test scores - lots of social problems, etc)

But here's my question. I'm happy to homeschool my older ones. I'm glad they like studying, know what they want to be and where they want to go to college, etc, BUT...

If they'd gone to school all the way they'd know how to deal with all the noise, chaos, bullying, and regular school crap, right? Obviously now I've raised them to be as offended as I am by all those things. Was I right to do that?

We came from homeschooling paradise - California - where my kids had tons of homeschooling friends (good ones) who were up to all kinds of incredible things. Now we're out in the middle of nowhere and it doesn't seem to matter what we do - homeschool or ps, like-minded kids are NOWHERE.

I wish the kid who hates homeschooling would tell me what to do in this situation.
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frogguruami
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Joined: 23 May 2007
Posts: 56
Location: Florida

PostPosted: Tue Jun 12, 2007 4:58 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

I don't think that learning to deal with "all that crap" is necessary so I wouldn't worry about it. Also some kids are more affected by noise and commotion than others. That is genetics, has nothing to do with their schooling environment. I was PSed and I can't deal with noisy environments.
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Lemmons
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Joined: 07 Jun 2007
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Location: upper peninsula MI

PostPosted: Tue Jun 12, 2007 6:38 pm    Post subject: Re: Interesting dilemma Reply with quote

jenniferGWOTW wrote:
....If they'd gone to school all the way they'd know how to deal with all the noise, chaos, bullying, and regular school crap, right? Obviously now I've raised them to be as offended as I am by all those things. Was I right to do that?.....

We came from homeschooling paradise - California - where my kids had tons of homeschooling friends (good ones) who were up to all kinds of incredible things. Now we're out in the middle of nowhere and it doesn't seem to matter what we do - homeschool or ps, like-minded kids are NOWHERE.

I wish the kid who hates homeschooling would tell me what to do in this situation.


Of course you were right to raise your kids and share your opinions and beliefs with them. They don't have to agree with you, but apparently they've experienced school and now found that your opinions ring true. And no, even if they'd gone to school from the tender age of 3 years on they may not have the skills to deal with bullying, noise or whatever it is that goes on at school. Basically, you're talking coping mechanisms, and when a school kid finds him/herself under stress from one of these things, adults are supposed to step in and assist them to cope--because even teachers, administrators and whatnot understand that these "socialization" hurdles are peculiar to the school environment itself. They rarely take place in the real world-and when they do, there is always the choice to remove yourself from the situation by simply leaving. Obviously, schools don't let the kids do that.

I'm sorry you're feeling so isolated. I have been in a similar situation and encouraged my son to do as I did-find companionship online (monitored closely by myself, of course). There was nobody around who we could relate to. Even the homeschoolers were hard to be around, because their life views were nearly juxtaposed to ours. I only partially connected with a few, and the rest looked at me like I was an insect. It was weird.

Sorry to tell you this, but the only thing that made it better was moving. It did happen to us a second time, and it took 2-3 years before we found a comfortable niche and like-minded people to hang with. Well, somewhat like-minded people to hang with-our family is pretty far out.
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jenniferGWOTW
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Joined: 11 Jun 2007
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Location: Canada

PostPosted: Tue Jun 12, 2007 8:12 pm    Post subject: Thanks Reply with quote

Can I whine here a moment where no one knows me? I'm beginning to think moving IS the only answer and there's no chance of us doing so. Sometimes I think it's US/Canada culture shock, as weird as that is. Sometimes I think it's because I'm a California liberal and this is a small, conservative town. Sometimes I think it's because I like being happy and everyone else, kids included, want to be miserable.

What is up with people?

There is one other option. DS wants to go to a school that we'd have to drive to. I'm against that because gas here is about $4.50 a gallon, but I'm about desperate enough to think about it seriously.
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Entropy
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Joined: 15 Jan 2007
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PostPosted: Wed Jun 13, 2007 3:54 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

I could have written that post, we moved to BFE from California and the only homeschoolers here are extremely religious. ARGHHHH!!! Luckily our guys are only 3, so we have time to figure out what to do. Good luck.
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jenniferGWOTW
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Joined: 11 Jun 2007
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PostPosted: Wed Jun 13, 2007 8:00 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Where is BFE?
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Calla_Dragon
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Joined: 22 Jan 2007
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PostPosted: Wed Jun 13, 2007 9:45 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

jenniferGWOTW wrote:
Where is BFE?


Not going to post it here since some may find it offensive, but it's an acronym that means "in the middle of nowhere". If you're really curious, you can look it up here http://www.urbandictionary.com/
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jenniferGWOTW
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Joined: 11 Jun 2007
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Location: Canada

PostPosted: Thu Jun 14, 2007 9:15 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

LOL - I thought I was being the ignorant American, not knowing some major city or region in Canada!
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Entropy
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PostPosted: Fri Jun 15, 2007 2:02 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Sorry! Embarassed I didn't mean to offend anyone if I did. We live in a smallish town with no big cities within hundreds and hundreds of miles. Since we're not affiliated with any religion, it will be hard to 'fit in' as a homeschooling family here. If I sounded bitter about religion it's because my mom has disowned everyone in her family who doesn't subscribe to the fundamentalist Christian perspective that she does. Ugh. My life in a nutshell. Laughing
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StellarStory
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Joined: 15 Apr 2007
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PostPosted: Sun Jun 17, 2007 8:25 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Keep in mind that the older kids get, the less bullying and such goes on.

There doesn't tend to be much of that in college. At least there wasn't for me.

The worse grades were middle school for me.

High school was better.

College was no problem.

Now everywhere I go it seems people remember me from high school and college and want to say hi! If they only knew how scared I was after the bullying in middle school or how much I don't remember them, we'd all have a good laugh.

Of course you should share your values with your kids. One reason why my kids don't fight much is because it goes against my values. (Not disagreements mind you, but fights.)

One reason why their friends act better at our house than else where is because I make it clear what I expect and will tolerate.

I rarely have to step in because everyone knows where the lines are drawn in our house and company. Respect and kindness toward all human beings regardless of age or grade level is expected and therefore is given.

Some might say, I'm keeping them weak. I say they will be far stronger.

HTH,

Stellar
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momo3boys
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Joined: 14 Feb 2006
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Location: Western Mass

PostPosted: Mon Jun 18, 2007 6:38 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

My boys are taught a sense of respect for people and there belongings an space. This does not make them weaker this makes them stroinger and better members of society. Adults appreciate being called, Mr. and Mrs. They enjoy my children because of the respect that they are given. Other children also see this and want to play with my boys because they know that they are going to respect their things and bodies. This is an important part of "socialization" that schools are not teaching!
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StellarStory
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PostPosted: Mon Jun 18, 2007 11:03 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

momo3boys wrote:
My boys are taught a sense of respect for people and there belongings an space. This does not make them weaker this makes them stroinger and better members of society. Adults appreciate being called, Mr. and Mrs. They enjoy my children because of the respect that they are given. Other children also see this and want to play with my boys because they know that they are going to respect their things and bodies. This is an important part of "socialization" that schools are not teaching!


I totally agree with you about this!

Stellar
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