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Being around children or adults?

 
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momofone
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Joined: 19 Apr 2007
Posts: 38
Location: NJ

PostPosted: Fri Apr 20, 2007 6:25 am    Post subject: Being around children or adults? Reply with quote

I hope this would be the right forum to ask this...


With the social interaction, do you feel it has to include children on a daily basis or is it appropriate to be around adults most of the time?

One of the reasons I got interested in homeschooling was Bindi Irwin (the late Steve Irwin's daughter). She is such a well rounded, respectful child. I am totally impressed with her. I have heard in interviews that she is around children and homeschooled, but I wonder how many children since she lives in the park with adults. I mean, I guess the others have kids that she may spend time with, but everything I have seen was with adults.

Is it really that important that they be around kids their age daily or is daily adult interaction just fine?

Thanks!
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WAHMBrenda
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Joined: 06 Dec 2006
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PostPosted: Fri Apr 20, 2007 8:44 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

That's something I'd be interested in knowing too. My dd is around more adults than children but she seems to be doing fine.
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Theodore
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Joined: 06 Oct 2005
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Location: Missouri, US

PostPosted: Fri Apr 20, 2007 11:01 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

The real world is an adult world, not a world run by children. It's far more important to be able to interact with adults, though a child who can interact with adults generally has no trouble interacting with other mature children as well. It's just a matter of finding children of the same educational level / interests.
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4given
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Joined: 22 Mar 2007
Posts: 735
Location: S.Indiana

PostPosted: Fri Apr 20, 2007 11:51 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Popular opinion assumes children need daily interaction with a large group of peers for long periods of time to acquire social skills.

However, most studies by child-rearing authorities show that this type of interaction breeds peer-dependency.

We want our children to become mature, responsible individuals.

Studies show that HSing produces children who display confidence and a sense of direction, often becoming leaders.

I'm not suggesting that we take away all involvement with peers. I do believe it should not be the main source of socialization, especially in the early years.

There's my two cents Smile

Sheila
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Ramona
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Joined: 15 Aug 2006
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PostPosted: Fri Apr 20, 2007 3:01 pm    Post subject: Re: Being around children or adults? Reply with quote

Something else I learned this year:

Back when public school was becoming mandatory all over the US, people kept asking, "But how will our kids learn to be mature, well-rounded citizens if they never have time to spend with grandparents, uncles and aunts, neighbors, parents, and other adults in the community but only with an over-loaded school teacher?"

The term "socialization" was coined to advertise that public schools would try to do social things beyond academics to make up for taking kids out of the real world.

So no, I don't think kids need public school-style socialization. They don't need to spend time around kids of their own age group.

Actually, when kids are thrown into a crowd of other immature kids, they don't learn to socialize politely or well. They learn all sorts of bad behavior. The sink-or-swim method leads to a dog-eat-dog world.

Ramona
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momofone
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PostPosted: Fri Apr 20, 2007 6:10 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

What excellent responses. You all make some terrific points, thank you.
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LasPlagas
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Joined: 17 Aug 2007
Posts: 13
Location: Indiana, USA

PostPosted: Fri Aug 17, 2007 10:57 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Theodore wrote:
The real world is an adult world, not a world run by children. It's far more important to be able to interact with adults, though a child who can interact with adults generally has no trouble interacting with other mature children as well. It's just a matter of finding children of the same educational level / interests.
Thats exactly my problem. Almost everyone I meet my age is an immature hill billy. Must just be where I live and no offense to them.
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jules88
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Joined: 06 May 2009
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PostPosted: Wed May 06, 2009 1:09 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

I was having second thought about this my self. This is my 3rd year homeschooling. Last weekend my 7yr old son went across the street to the neighbor boys birthday party. I walked him over. Most of the boys in the neighborhood were invited. He was very excited to go, even though it was sports themed. My son has played soccer and T-ball. But overall not really interested in sports. My husband was working in the front yard and noticed my son "just standing around". So, he asked me to come and see. I saw him kicking the ball. They were playing kickball and who know how they set the teams up. There must have been 20+ boys there or so it seemed. Some from the neighborhood which he knew and some from Boy Scouts which he knew and some from the birthday boys class whom he didn't know. My husband think that we should revisit the "public school" idea because he seems to be shy around lots of kids and my husband doesn't like to see him not "included". I put that in quotes because I don't think he is left out I think that he choses to not participate.
I say that because he doesn't like to play with more that one or at the most two boys at a time. "It just never works out" he says. He doesn't like to have to choose which boy to play with when they both want to do something different. He will frequently come home from one of the boys houses because he does't agree with or like how they are playing. He seems to get along with most boys, he gets invited to spend the night and go places with his friend and their families and does fine. Its just when he is in large groups that he "doesn't do well" (my husbands words).
According to my husband, when they were doing some writing activity with the boy scouts, he couldn't write as well, or spell and needed my husbands help alot. He was not focused and was easily distracted. I told my husband that things would come when he was ready, and to rush would be to make things terribly frustrating for both my son and myself.
My husband thinks that I am doing him a disservice by homeschooling and that he need to do more socialization like sports. Every year I ask what sports they want to play sometimes they want to and sometimes they don't. I'm not going to force them, what's the point?!! I feel he get lots of socialization with his one brother and 2 sisters not to mention the neighborhood kids, scouts, grandparents, aunts, uncles and cousins and what ever sport he is currently in. What is everyones thought on this? I could use some encouragement that I am doing the right thing by homeschooling. I think I am. But please post your thoughts even if you don't agree.

Thanks,
This is my first post on here and a desperate one at that.
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Ramona
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Joined: 15 Aug 2006
Posts: 418

PostPosted: Wed May 06, 2009 9:32 am    Post subject: Maybe, maybe not Reply with quote

Hmm.

Interesting! Smile

jules88 wrote:
My husband was working in the front yard and noticed my son "just standing around". So, he asked me to come and see. I saw him kicking the ball.


So it sounds like the two of you need to spend some time together over the next few months observing, so that you'll both see the same things instead of having dueling observations.

jules88 wrote:
My husband think that we should revisit the "public school" idea because he seems to be shy around lots of kids and my husband doesn't like to see him not "included". I put that in quotes because I don't think he is left out I think that he choses to not participate.


Could be! My (happily always homeschooled) kids once asked me not to take them to playgrounds where there were any kids from other families because they had much more fun playing without others. I did it for a little while and then gradually started teaching them rules for sharing the playground successfully with others, getting along with crowds, waiting their turn, etc., etc. As it is, they always get lots of playgrounds to themselves because we go during the school day. But when others are there or come while we're there I remind them to share and get along.

Also, when we were kids it looked to me like my younger brother did a lot of standing around not being included in the neighborhood sports, yet his memory is that he felt completely included and had a blast with those guys. (We were all in public school together.)

jules88 wrote:
...he doesn't like to play with more that one or at the most two boys at a time. "It just never works out" he says.


So I'd say the homeschooled child isn't the only one who needs to be taught to get along with groups. (I wouldn't try to teach all the others, but maybe two or three at a time when they come over to my house.) I would talk it over with my child and try to help him figure out how to relate to people who are less mature and less educated than he is. I suspect he will have to deal with that all the rest of his life.

jules88 wrote:
He doesn't like to have to choose which boy to play with when they both want to do something different.


Oh, I sympathize with him! One of the most vivid memories from my childhood is the two girls who lived on either side of my house coming over separately and telling me not to play with the other one! Mostly they were best friends (they had lived there before I moved in) but they would have fights. I learned from my religious upbringing to tell them I liked them both and I was going to play with them both, whether separately or all together.

jules88 wrote:
He will frequently come home from one of the boys houses because he does't agree with or like how they are playing.


This might be something to discuss with your husband. What should your family's values be? Are you going to praise him for walking away when he's uncomfortable and standing alone above the fray? Or are you going to teach him to be a team player?

jules88 wrote:
...when he is in large groups...he "doesn't do well" (my husbands words).


Home educating gives us as parents the opportunity to teach our kids everything they need to know, whether social or whatever. We don't have to use the sink-or-swim method. Tell your husband that teaching your son by precept and example is more effective than letting him figure things out from a crowd of immature kids his own age. Work together on teaching him specifically how the two of you would like to see him behave in a large group.

jules88 wrote:
According to my husband, when they were doing some writing activity with the boy scouts, he couldn't write as well, or spell and needed my husbands help alot.


Maybe he can write and spell as well as the others but is aware of his own imperfections and dissatisfied with them and wants older, more experienced people to help him improve himself as he goes along. Maybe the other boys can't write or spell any better than your son but have no idea that they're doing it badly and are unwilling to accept good advice or improve themselves.

My .02,
Ramona
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marf1273
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Joined: 21 May 2009
Posts: 10

PostPosted: Sat May 23, 2009 1:08 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

It really doesn’t matter. As long as the child gets to interact with kids not necessarily his age every now and then, he’ll be fine growing up with adults. For small children, though, parents have to make sure that their kids play and socialize with other kids from time to time. This is important especially for couples with only one child.
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