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Why I am against Homeschooling
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Profesora H
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Joined: 02 Apr 2012
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PostPosted: Mon Apr 02, 2012 1:55 pm    Post subject: One size fits all- doesn't Reply with quote

I homeschooled my 4 kids for 7 years. One by one they requested to go to school. As I had lost the desire to be at home full time, I allowed them to enroll. I returned to work, eventually ending up as a public school teacher. Here is my nickel's worth:
One size does NOT fit all. People and circumstances change. Good things can come from many different experiences. I learned a lot from homeschooling. I had time for personal and spiritual development. I made more memories with my kids. When my kids went to school, they never quite bought into the whole peer-influenced thing (except one, who NOW agrees it was negative).

Now I see kids flourishing and kids floundering in my highly-ranked public school. For some, it is a happy and fulfilling thing. They keep a good relationship with their families, grow appropriately, and have lots of friends. For others, it is a sad, lonely place, or they are not able to keep up with the work, or they make negative friends.

Each family must make this decision individually. An emotionally weak parent is NOT going to be a good homeschooler. A depressed mom can do more harm than a depressed teacher. But if you have access to a good support system, and believe God equips the called, it can be a great thing.
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pamom1980
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Joined: 02 May 2012
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PostPosted: Thu Jul 19, 2012 8:09 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

I chose to pull my children out of public school once they finished this most recent year. My decision to do so was not taken lightly. My husband and I thought about it for quite a long time before we actually did it. Each year that passed, my oldest struggled more and more. He had issues where some teachers just didn't like him and/or didn't know how to handle him, serious learning issues causing him to just not want to even try, and then of course being bullied at school just because he acted differently than others.

Then my other son began to slowly have problems in school as well. I'm not saying that the public school system is bad, but my children were not doing well with it. All three of my children were struggling for one reason or another. We chose to pull them out because we felt that they'd do better if they were homeschooled. With the kids being home and us teaching them, my children will get the needed one on one time that they were missing at the public school.

I don't know that we'll do it through their high school years, but for now-- it was the best choice for us and one that I am glad we've made.

One thing we just recently learned since deciding to homeschool: My oldest has been having such a difficult time in school with math. I always thought he knew the material and was just being stubborn.. He never wanted to do the math and he'd give the teachers problems. I thought it was partly a result from his having ADHD/OCD but what I found out was that it wasn't because he was being stubborn or due to his ADHD/OCD. Instead, I tested him and while he is now in the 7th grade, his math skills were back at around a 4th grade level. He wasn't being stubborn but he just didn't understand it. Teachers would call my husband and I in for conferences and tell us how stubborn he was being or that he was refusing to do work. They never once wanted to work with us and try to find out the source of his frustrations or WHY he was struggling. They were too quick to place blame on us as his parents and asked us what was going on at home for him to behave the way he was.

Anyway.. my point is.. A parent's decision to homeschool their child(ren) is their right and their choice. It is legal in every state and as a parent, we just want our children to grow up with a decent education and to be treated like any other child. Seeing them come home crying from being bullied is awful. My boys are in the Boy Scouts and my daughter is in the Girl Scouts. They go to the library for different activities, the playgrounds, the zoo, playgroups, etc... They will socialize and have fun. Yes, they're playing with others who are homeschooled but also get to play with other children as well. I don't think that I'm limiting my children on their socialization. I think that I'm helping them avoid the peers that would have a negative impact on them. I know that they can't avoid the "troublemakers" and I know that they have to experience life like any other child. My choice to homeschool them was out of love.

I'm sorry that the original poster had a negative experience with homeschooling but not everyone will have the same experience. I know many people that were homeschooled their entire childhood and have tons of friends both homeschooled and not. There are a lot of deciding factors that go into why parents decide to homeschool as well as how a person will grow up and how they will socialize.

I'm not trying to make anyone upset with anything I've said but just stating my own opinions...
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DU)_CORE
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Joined: 17 Dec 2012
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PostPosted: Mon Dec 17, 2012 12:14 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

The real reason we homeschool has been summed up pretty good in the original post to this thread.....and that reason is "closed minded-ness."

Homeschooled children seem to have a much more open mind imho. I see that in my own kids and with the responses to the opening post.

For the OP it's their way or the highway but the responses I see mainly recommend to do what works best, every child is different, every school is different, every teacher is different. The OP, in their "government school" way of thinking, is unable to see that. That's the biggest difference between home school vs government school.

Social skills are a non-issue UNLESS the parents have "issues" themselves.
My children are more socially advanced than any government schooler, not because there is anything wrong with those schools, but because we as parents are social people.

When many of our friends public schooled children need/want a play-date, they request to play with our children.

Again, do what is best for your children. Unfortunately, many folks cannot because their hand is forced by the mighty dollar in that they've over-extended themselves trying to keep up with the Jones and now both parents must work or hold down several jobs.

Sometimes other issues get in the way that are legitimate.
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hillbillywoman
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PostPosted: Mon Sep 16, 2013 11:26 pm    Post subject: Socialization and the Public School System Reply with quote

"Socialization" was the main reason my husband and I pulled our 7th grade daughter OUT of the public school system! We did not like the person she was becoming. Our formerly sweet, obedient, and loving child was becoming hateful, sassy, rebellious, disobedient, etc. She had begun to act embarrassed to be seen in public with her family. In addition to that, her grades had dropped from all A's in primary school, to C's in middle school. Also, she was being verbally (sexually) harassed by a male classmate. The principal and school counselor told me that nothing could be done about it unless the boy "actually did something" physically to her. Well, we weren't about to let it get to that point! So, we pulled her out of public school.

She did not want to be homeschooled. She resented us for it the whole time she was being homeschooled. She even declared that we were "ruining" her life! But, we knew it was for her own good. We didn't let her attitude sway us. As it turned out, she calmed down and became tolerable to live with. Her grades improved, and she ended up graduating one year ahead of her public school peers. She enrolled in college and did not have to take any remedial courses after graduating from homeschooling. She had no trouble gaining employment, and worked from the time she was 16. Her last job was bookkeeper in one of our local banks. She is now married and a stay-at-home mom of three kids. Guess who's educating her children? I AM!!! By HER own choice! I guess she no longer thinks that we ruined her life, huh?
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Jlynn1982
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PostPosted: Thu Jan 09, 2014 1:50 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

I think home school has pro and cons just like anything in life. I went to a small public school. But I knew several people that were home schooled. In my experience most of the people I knew but not all, were very sheltered in a negative way, then became very wild as an adult. One I knew that I knew was home schooled her entire life up until college, we were friends, but one thing thought was odd about her HS was her mom left her home alone ( she is an only child) and taught at the public school that I went to. I think thats wrong. Home school is great for some and it has work at well for some but I think its wrong to leave a child home alone with a list of assignments to get done by the time you get home. If you choose to home school, stay home and do it right. I think though my friends case is very rare. I hope my comments have not offended anyone, I think home school can turn out well I have seen good and bad in both cases.
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elliemaejune
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PostPosted: Thu Jan 09, 2014 7:32 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Jlynn1982 wrote:
I think home school has pro and cons just like anything in life. I went to a small public school. But I knew several people that were home schooled. In my experience most of the people I knew but not all, were very sheltered in a negative way, then became very wild as an adult. One I knew that I knew was home schooled her entire life up until college, we were friends, but one thing thought was odd about her HS was her mom left her home alone ( she is an only child) and taught at the public school that I went to. I think thats wrong. Home school is great for some and it has work at well for some but I think its wrong to leave a child home alone with a list of assignments to get done by the time you get home. If you choose to home school, stay home and do it right. I think though my friends case is very rare. I hope my comments have not offended anyone, I think home school can turn out well I have seen good and bad in both cases.


Oh, yes, your friend's case was very rare. And very sad. Sad
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Jakk
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PostPosted: Tue Jan 28, 2014 12:30 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

nickklein wrote:
The funny thing to this debate is that homeschooling or public schooling shouldn't be performed because a few people say it's good/bad. It really depends on the individuals specific needs and wants.

The socialization problem that seems to pop up frequently into this post is not because of the type of schooling but how much exposure to other human beings there is. Without regular human contact a child can't be expected to naturally be good at socializing with others. In one way I do think public schools are more beneficial in the socialization aspect to your children, however with homeschooling it really depends on how much effort you put into it. Going to sporting events, church groups, doing volunteer work, public places such as parks, etc all assist in the development of your child's social ability.

Thus, social ability must be worked for and will not just naturally come from nowhere. This is why it is impossible to determine which schooling system works best because it all depends on the effort put into it.


We started homeschooling after seeing the "socialization" our kids got in the public school. No thank you. Being in a brick and mortar school does not mean your child's socialization will be a positive thing.
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richangele
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PostPosted: Fri Apr 25, 2014 3:06 am    Post subject: Advantages of Homeschooling Reply with quote

Homeschooling provides some benefits to your child as it controls what your children learn and when they learn it, shows your children that learning is not boring, but exciting, builds intimate and meaningful relationships with your children, tailors your teaching to fit your children's dominant learning styles, gives your children in-depth, personal attention in any subject with which they struggle or excel, creates a weekly schedule that fits your needs and allows you to do things without the constraint of a traditional classroom schedule, transfers your values and beliefs to your children and address their questions when they have them, protect your children from the negative influences they may encounter outside the home, teaches more effectively by interacting with your children 1-on-1, nurtures your children's natural talents so they thrive and grow, addresses "big issues" with your children when you feel they're ready, share with your children the common, everyday joys of life, help your children mature through the difficult times in their lives, share the joy of teaching your children with your spouse, takes vacations during the school year and make them educational, etc.

There you may get more advantages of homeschooling. Don't say against it, because homeschooling is good enough to build a good educational career as well.
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Lajo
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PostPosted: Wed May 28, 2014 7:54 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Don’t you feel in a way the school system is a babysitter which gives a chance for both parents to work to cover the bills?
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TomMD/PhD
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PostPosted: Thu Jun 19, 2014 7:48 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

My perspective: I was homeschooled until grade 10. My parents are both educated - my father is a physician and my mom graduated from a top 20 University with a double major in history and sociology. Because my tendency was to be shy and withdrawn, I very rarely socialized. This was of my own volition. On the rare occasion I was introduced to play groups I would become very shy and not really able to connect with the other kids. My mom would constantly tell me that she was my best friend and that our family should be able to fulfill that void in my life. I have an IQ tested at 148 and as such, I was told I was just "different and special" and therefore was "above" my peers. To be honest I did feel lonely because I could never find kids that "got" me.

Around age 16 I was reading a lot of Joyce and Thomas Pynchon. My mother really had no idea how to educate or challenge me any longer. She attempted to use some college and graduate type courses but we had reached an impasse. The isolation I felt was getting crushing and I longed to meet other kids who could stimulate some intellectual discourse that my current situation was lacking.

Starting school was HORRIBLE. I had such limited social skills that just communicating was challenging at first. But as the days went on I found my voice (and my sense of humor) and joined student council, the drama club, the biology and physics club, a book club, and friends of ALL different races, classes, sexual orientation, and background. I could meet people who were very different from the individuals my parents labeled appropriate. This is not to say that I lost my morality and ethics. I didn't smoke, drink, or do drugs. I had a girlfriend (at long last!) who shared similar values and intellect as me. We remained chaste, however. By the time I graduated from school I was president of the student council, voted class clown, and was honored as the most exceptional male student of my 1300 student class.

I went on to a top 10 college and then graduated with a combined MD/PhD.

I think home schooling may work with spectrum children, bullied children, and children of low average to slightly above average intellect (80-109). If the parent doing the teaching has not obtained at MINIMUM a bachelors degree I would discourage home schooling unless you have a child of similar intellect. Don't let your children suffer if you find they are no longer thriving.

I had a lot of wonderful opportunities as a result of going to PS. I had some wonderful teachers (who had actually gone to college for teaching), wonderful peers, and look back on it as one of the best times of my life.

I remain close to my parents are harbor no ill will against them. They were great parents. I just outgrew them as teachers.
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Finley Jayne
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Joined: 06 Aug 2014
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PostPosted: Wed Aug 06, 2014 7:23 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

I just signed up for the site tonight and stumbled onto this gem of a post Smile

I was home schooled all the way through (K-12), along with my two sisters. This was back in the day when it was illegal, and there really wasn't any sort of socialization options available. We were part of a large church though, and we had neighbor kids that we hung out with. We were also all book nerds and spent a lot of time reading.

I really don't have any memories of ever feeling left out or not having friends growing up. I was close with my sisters and I had friends at church and such. I went to friend's birthday parties, sleepovers etc.

Fast forward-my sisters and I went off to college and we all adjusted quickly. No issues there. We all graduated (BA, BS, BSN). We all got married along the way too. Really, our lives are quite normal Smile

I'm here on the boards, because we've decided to pull our oldest (going into 4th) from public school, and have enrolled her into a virtual charter school, run by our public school system. I realize this isn't technically home schooling, but I signed up here on this site to get some ideas.

We decided to not go the traditional home school route for several reasons, that I don't need to get into here. However, for socialization purposes, my daughter will be home schooled this year. This is actually one of the reasons why we pulled her from the public school-my daughter needs to do a lot less socializing, and a lot more learning sigh...

There's some field trips and meet ups with local families through the virtual school, and I just started the process for me and my daughter to volunteer at our local humane society twice a month, during the school year.

Plus she still have church friends, a next door neighbor friend, and then her siblings. I'm not worried about socialization issues at all Smile
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jcollins
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PostPosted: Mon Aug 11, 2014 10:19 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

TomMD/PhD wrote:


I think home schooling may work with spectrum children, bullied children, and children of low average to slightly above average intellect (80-109). If the parent doing the teaching has not obtained at MINIMUM a bachelors degree I would discourage home schooling unless you have a child of similar intellect. Don't let your children suffer if you find they are no longer thriving


TomMD/PhD wrote:

I think home schooling may work with spectrum children, bullied children, and children of low average to slightly above average intellect (80-109). If the parent doing the teaching has not obtained at MINIMUM a bachelors degree I would discourage home schooling unless you have a child of similar intellect. Don't let your children suffer if you find they are no longer thriving.



http://www.hslda.org/docs/study/comp2001/HomeSchoolAchievement.pdf

Scroll to page 3

Notice how the the homeschooling parents without college degrees are only slightly less well than homeschooling college graduates in educating their children?

Also notice the findings of the rest of the study. Notice how much better students are doing across the ENTIRE board under homeschooling as opposed to their government schooled peers?
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