Ask The Homeschooler (from the kids point of view)

Want to contribute your views on the homeschool vs public school debate, or just looking for information? Post here!

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Postby Calla_Dragon » Fri Jan 26, 2007 5:41 pm

Just as a point of interest, I went to public school my whole school career with the exception of my senior year when I went to college on a Post Secondary Option. I was surrounded by people all day long and I considered none of those people my friends. All my friends were made through my church. I saw my church friends plenty. I'd ask my parents to go over to their houses, them to come over to mine, drop me off so I could meet my friends at the mall. I had no problems kissing high school goodbye as I went off to college while the rest of them were in their senior year. I never went to prom, never went to homecoming, etc. I made friends quite easily but I had no interest in making friends with the people I went to school with. I felt more at ease and connected with the people at my church so I chose to direct my energy into friends there.

Public school doesn't guarantee friends, being proactive and planning stuff with your friends is a better bet. If you plan stuff and invite your friends, chances are you'll be invited when they make plans. Simply being plopped down in the middle of a bunch of kids doesn't guarantee that friends will be made nor guarantee whether those friendships are lasting.

My 6 year old has plenty of friends he sees regularly, but I'm quite proactive at getting him to where his friends are.

I guess I'm skeptical on whether this is a homeschool vs. public school issue as I've known kids in both groups that have been terribly lonely and feel they don't see their friends enough.
To be idle is a short road to death and to be diligent is a way of life; foolish people are idle, wise people are diligent.

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Postby minniemouse24 » Mon Jan 29, 2007 4:56 pm

hi my name is alexis.My mom wants to home-school me next year for my 9th grade year.I have been asking this since the 6th grade,and now I fianlly can be homeschooled for a little while.Well I was wondering if you like being homeschooled?Thanks<3

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Let me just say

Postby phil-pod » Tue Feb 13, 2007 8:17 pm

Let me just say that next year I will be in 9th grade also. I decided to be homeschooled when everyone I new in public school started doing pot and stuff like that. People our age dont need to be exposed to that. I am glad that you get to be homeschooled, and I hope you enjoy it. I do, and it was hard for me to leave all my friends. But, trust me, its better. :wink:

I love Gerard Way from MCR!!!

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Lots of Responsibility

Postby hummingbird » Mon Feb 26, 2007 9:23 pm

I think the main downfall of homeschooling is leaving so much responsibility to the parent. They have to teach their children everything, they have to arrange for outside social activities, and they have to provide financial stability and discipline for their children. So, when their child grows up, if this person is unhappy, they can very well blame everything on the parents. There was no one else involved.
This is not always the case, though. If a parent does decide to homeschool, they should definitely meet with other homeschoolers. Their child should have a solid relationship with other adults. The school provides the teacher, but it becomes the parent's responsibility to provide other gifted adults.
Basically, it puts a lot of pressure on the parent. If a child is homeschooled, and they are lonely and feel they have no friends, then who do they turn to? If the parent doesn't listen, then maybe the child will feel trapped.
I really don't agree that just b/c a parent had a hard time in public school, that they should assume this will be the case for their child. God willing, we will learn to love the people who abused us in our past and instead of being bitter about it, move on and provide a new outlook for our children.

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Postby twiggybumble » Fri May 25, 2007 3:41 pm

Lkat83 wrote:

I do think the parents have the ultimate decision making power, but I also think that, especially in the teen years, the kids should have input into the decision to homeschool or not.

I absolutely agree with you, and hats off for mentioning it. I've noticed many posters argue homeschooling vs public schooling without taking into consideration the fact that some parents are not doing a very good job.

The young man up there said that his parents don't allow him to see his friends, that is something that they may have reasons for, but obviously he is having a hard time. I think that with this issue, as with many others, there are parents out there who seem only to care about their own comfort. I see the same thing in many sports activities and hobbies.

Bottom line, you should know your child and what is best for him or her, and more importantly, you should consider your child's feelings, because they are just as important as anyone else's.


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Re: Lots of Responsibility

Postby kirerellim » Mon Feb 04, 2008 9:21 pm

hummingbird wrote:I think the main downfall of homeschooling is leaving so much responsibility to the parent.

I agree with this too, but, for kids who want to homeschool to really learn, rather than get out of work, I don't think it is so much a problem. They really work to learn the subject, because they are interested in it. Or, thats how it worked out for me. And, as for not getting friends you can confide in, and trust in, I never had a friend like that in Public School. It was only in Homeschool that I made a friend like that.

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Postby mommyto2girls » Tue Feb 05, 2008 11:44 am

I am agreeing that sometimes the parents can cause homeschooling to be a tougher time than needed. It really is the parent's responsibility to make sure that their child has the opportunities for making friends and pursuing interests. We have no real way of knowing what kind of parents the OP has.

No, I didn't have a lot of friends in high school. I had one best friend most of the way through - of course there was the time we didn't speak because she set me up with a boy one weekend and had sex with him the next weekend. Then there were the "friends" who were nice to me as long as I was doing what they were doing (drinking and partying). Then there were the friends who were around for a month or two and then drop you for other friends...I definitely don't want to go back to those days.

Oh yes, I went to homecoming and prom. I was even a cheerleader. My Junior year I took a sophomore boy to the prom because I knew he'd agree to go. My Senior year I went with a friend who asked me because he knew I'd say yes...we were always fearing rejection and humiliation.

I want my daughters to be able to develop healty friendships based on mutual interest and respect. I also want my daughters to be able to do activities THEY are interested in...not what is popular with "everyone else".

There are some people who loved high school. In fact, some of them still act like they are in high school even a couple of years out of college. Luckily I moved on fast. I met and married a wonderful man. We both decided early on that homeschooling was the way for us to go with our children.

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Postby jennm2203 » Fri Feb 08, 2008 7:10 pm

I have to agree… it is a huge responsibility placed onto the parents…. BUT as a parent.. I am ready for the challenge and the responsibility because the ones in the public sector who currently hold the reigns are doing a terrible job. Our daughter will be starting home school very very soon and we are all excited.
She is my daughter, our daughter and it is our job and duty to make sure she has the best education, best social opportunities and physical activity outlets. There is no excuse to work hard and do whatever is right for your child.

It is up to the parents to find support groups within their community to interact with, find activities, friends and help with the schooling, if a parent doesn’t know or refuses then there is nothing against a student whom is home schooled to find those tools by searching online. Then by presenting that info to the parent showing good cause to join up (activities, help, friends, socialization etc etc. ) then the parent will be more apt to take the initiative and become more proactive on the child’s social and physical outlet needs.

Most of us begin not knowing much about this process but learn by interacting with other home schooled families. If that effort is not made then sure, being home schooled would be lonely, boring and terrible. The tools are there, you just have to use them. You can find kids that are just like you, home schooled too… through the groups… some of the groups are a bit hard to find, but they are out there.

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