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Is it normal...?

 
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kkapfe
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Joined: 13 Jun 2006
Posts: 55
Location: Illinois

PostPosted: Wed Nov 29, 2006 1:48 pm    Post subject: Is it normal...? Reply with quote

I was wondering if it was normal to want to homeschool one of your children and put the other one in a private Christian school?

My oldest is in 1st grade and really needs to be homeschooled because she performs so drastically better being taught one-on-one. Her grades and reading have improved so much that I can't hardly believe it myself.

My middle daughter who would be starting kindergarten next fall may benefit from attending the private Christian school that my oldest initially did. She seems to need constant interaction and butts heads a lot with her siblings. I'm wondering if she would do better being in private school. If she did go to private school, I'm nervous about being able to have as much influence with her as I do now. I don't want her picking up bad attitudes and such since she accomplishes that all on her own.

Also, if I have kids doing education differently, will they come back to me thinking it wasn't "fair". Will the homeschool people think I've failed because I couldn't homeschool all my kids? Will the private school people think I'm losing it because I don't send all my kids to school?

Any thoughts? Suggestions? Comments? from people who've had to use multiple approaches to educating their kids?
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Aurie
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Joined: 30 Oct 2006
Posts: 33

PostPosted: Wed Nov 29, 2006 2:45 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Personally, I look at homeschooling the same way I do parenting. We not only parent different from each other, but we do parent our children different. They are differen people with different personalities.

Most people do not split up their kids when they decide to homeschool for many reasons, one of which is splitting can be really complicated with scheduling. But I have heard of people sending one to public/private school and keeping others home.

Will people judge you? Yes, people will always judge others. But if you are doing what you know is best for your children, then you don't have to listen to the comments of others. Will your kids say you were unfair or you somehow screwed them up? You bet! Even if you were the perfect parent (which none of us are), your children will find something to blame you for that is wrong with their lives. I think that is just the way of it. Most children grow up and past those ideas eventually when they start having their own kids and then think "Oh, that is why Mom or Dad did X, Y or Z!"

All any of us can do is the best that we can and hope we are doing better then the generations before us.
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momo3boys
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Joined: 14 Feb 2006
Posts: 574
Location: Western Mass

PostPosted: Wed Nov 29, 2006 8:04 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

in our homeschool group, we have two families that have at least one child in a private/charter school and at least one homeschooled. We are fine with that, whatever works for the family. This seems to work really well for both of these families. Go with what you think is best for your children. Just make sure that you spend extra "mommy time" with the one in school, so that you can help her attitude and other school stuff.
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kkapfe
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Joined: 13 Jun 2006
Posts: 55
Location: Illinois

PostPosted: Wed Nov 29, 2006 9:32 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Thanks for the advice, guys! I know this might sound strange but I'm thinking that having my middle child in private school might help out with our power struggles between her and I. If I got to just be "mommy" instead of wearing multiple roles of "mommy" and "educator" I think we might actually get along better. I wouldn't be so stressed out from what went on during the day when she threw a temper tantrum about addition so instead we could just cuddle in her bed and read some good books or do some Bible devotions together. I'm feeling better about the idea all the time!!

I'm starting to feel much more confident in treating each child the way that is best for them instead of just lumping them all together. We'll have to see what will come next with our youngest in a few years!
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Lenethren
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Joined: 03 Sep 2006
Posts: 172
Location: Okanagan, BC, Canada

PostPosted: Thu Nov 30, 2006 12:26 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

My oldest daughter is 15 and she goes to public school. When I decided to homeschool she'd already been in the system for awhile and really liked it. She didn't want to be homeschooled. Our deal is this, her grades stay decent, no attitude problems, no skipping classes and she can stay in the ps.

Another reason I let her be is that she tends to be a strong leader, not a follower. She tends to follow her own path in life and people tend to gravitate towards her so I feel fairly secure that she'll do ok.

I do stress a bit though over the violence in schools. In my mind I do that "what if..." thing. But in my heart I know she's happier where she is then she ever would be here at home.

I doubt my kids will ever look back and say it wasn't fair. We talk about how each person is unique. Even being homeschooled I don't teach each child the same because they both learn differently. Luckily they each seem content(for now anyways!)

So...my advice...treat every child like the individual they are.
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kkapfe
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Joined: 13 Jun 2006
Posts: 55
Location: Illinois

PostPosted: Thu Nov 30, 2006 12:53 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

I totally know what you mean about the leader/follower thing. My oldest (the one I'm determined to homeschool) is such a follower. In kindergarten, all the 6 year olds were kissing at recess and she joined in so she wouldn't be left out. Way scary!! My middle child, however, follows no one. She beats to her own drum and hardly notices if she's "cool" or not. That's another reason I think she could make it in private school. The kid can definitely hold her own.

We are definitely not one of those radical homeschooling only families. We're taking it year by year. For sure, we're against public school in our area. I think one school system here (Rockford Public Schools) even made national headlines a while back for being so horrendous!!! Anyway, private school seems to be the best of both worlds, smaller classes (ours do at least), and the school of our choice has awesome kids with great behavior. They say attending there is a privelege not a right so you have to tow the line to go there.

It's nice to have support here to do whatever's best for each kid! Thanks!
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FLMom
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Joined: 05 Dec 2006
Posts: 19

PostPosted: Tue Dec 05, 2006 12:49 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

I homeschool the oldest (10), and the younger (7) is in public school.

I don't have too many horrible issues with the public school system, so long as it's working for the child. Once I recognized that public school was no longer working for the oldest, I pulled her out. PS is still working for the younger one, therefore he stayed. (there was MUCH discussion with both kids as to why one is doing something different)

We have had problems because of this situation. Not with how others view us (not that I care), but within the relationship with the youngest child. He is very sensitive and is always trying to be like his sister. He's 3 years younger and doesn't understand when his older sister is better at something than he. I think he also views HS as 'mom and sister partying at home during the day'. He has begun to act out at home and is showing signs of lowered self esteem. Of course these are definitely things that I do not want for my son. So even though he is doing fine within the PS environment, we will most likely bring him home next year.
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kkapfe
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Joined: 13 Jun 2006
Posts: 55
Location: Illinois

PostPosted: Tue Dec 05, 2006 1:52 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

I was thinking about the possible future issues for having one child home and the other in private school. However, I think I'm going to take it one year at a time. My middle daughter (the one we're going to send to private school) is such a pleasant child when she's not constantly around her older and younger sister. I'm thinking this is because when she's not with them, she doesn't feel the competition, she can just be herself. When she's with them all day long, she fights for EVERYTHING!!!! Like I said, one year at a time.
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Ramona
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Joined: 15 Aug 2006
Posts: 418

PostPosted: Tue Dec 05, 2006 4:03 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Not only just one year at a time, but even one day at a time. The great thing about homeschooling is that it's so freeing. You discover that you can actually do anything you want, any time you want.

I know of a couple of large families that had each child being educated in a different way every year all their lives. One year they might have some kids at home, some kids in a private school, and some in a public school. The next year the homeschooled kids might go on to private school, some of the private-schooled kids might move to a public school and some stay private, and the public-schooled kids might stay home. Or whatever. It was always a big experiment and they are very happy with the end results of it all.

Ramona
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John Smith
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Joined: 08 Jan 2007
Posts: 2
Location: West Valley City, Utah 84128

PostPosted: Mon Jan 08, 2007 1:29 am    Post subject: Is it normal Reply with quote

First off you cannot worry about what others will think or not think. You must do what you feel is right for your children.

I have four children. My two youngest daughters have been home schooled all their lives. My oldest daughter home schooled until 14 when she entered a public high school. My son also entered a junior high school against our better judgment. We knew it was not the best thing for him but buckled to the pressure. He wanted to be like everyone else. His older sister got straight A's in high school. The personalities and maturity level were different. She was able to excel in high school academically and socially.

The decisions you make, make from what you know about the child. Each child is unique. There are no two children alike. If you feel for whatever reason one child would do better in a private school and the other home schooled, your decision should not be questioned by anyone. You are responsible for your children. You know what is best. Trust your feelings.

Any decision you make can be changed.
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