My concern about being a SAHM and homeschooler...

[ardeur]

My husband and I don't have children yet, but we're in our late 20s and starting that next phase of our life: children and buying a home.

God has called me to be a SAHM and homeschooler. I am blessed with a husband who is fully supportive in many different ways: with homeschooling, helping in the home when needed, and supporting our family from outside the home.

My concern is this: how do I manage to NOT become "stir-crazy" (or depressed, or resentful, etc) when I'm at home with children all the time?

I know there are many group activities and other families and friends I can connect with in the homeschooling, local, and church community. But even then, I'll be at home a LOT, especially when our children are very young. This is where my concern lies: when my children are very young and I can't get out very often. I don't want to go crazy, and least of all, I don't want to "take it out' on my husband if that should happen!

What helped you through those years when your children were very young and you had to spend more time at home with them?

[mom2five]

I'm not a homeschooler (yet) but I'm the mother of five. When your children are very small you need to find a way to get out of the house. Join a Bible study or a mother's group, go to story time at the library or spend a little money for a mom and me type class. I've always found that an hour talking to other adults, and especially other moms, saved my sanity.

[Jill]

I went to a group called MOPS (Moms of Preschoolers) when I lived in one state and MOMS (can't remember what that stands for) when I lived in another. Check with churches/libraries in you area to see if you can find groups like this.

In another state, I had a few very good friends who all had young children like me. We spent alot of time together ~ taking walks with the strollers, shopping together (with the kids), hanging out at the park, ect. Our husbands were great to help with the kids if we ever wanted a mommys night out.

Try storytime at the library or Barnes and Noble if you have one. Like Mom2five said, mommy and me classes are good too.

Best wishes!

[Meghan]

I'm also just in the planning stages of homeschooling my dd, but I have been a stay at home mom for more than 8 years.

My advice is ... you have to keep some part of YOU that isn't wife and mother. If you like to read, make time for it. If you like to go hang out with your friends, make time for THAT. Just make sure you have time away from your family, and time with your dh away from your kids.

And being a stay at home mother is a job in a way that a regular job isn't. You don't get sick days. There aren't any vacations. If you set yourself a schedule for cleaning, etc, it makes it much easier to get done what you need to do. I did eventually realize that with kids, there will always be some mess somewhere, and that's ok. I'd rather be here for them than clean 24/7. Get your husband to help as much as you can. Some men feel that because they work, the rest is your job. I think you have to respect that... to a point. Make sure he understands that you are tired after a day with the kids just like he is.

Having kids does change a lot of what we are in ways we have no idea it will happen. There is nothing that can really prepare you for it, imho. So much of how we deal with ourselves with kids depends on our own personalities. My sister hated being a stay at home mom and only did it for a year before she gave it up. I hate the idea of someone else raising my children, and only did THAT for a short time before quitting my job to be home full time.

[sartasd]

I have been a SAHM who homeschools for some time. I actually love being home with my kids. I have a son who is old enough now to babysit and I can get out to appointments alone for the first time in years. I also got a cell phone (prepaid one from Net10 for only 15 dollars a month).

During the years that I couldn't just leave my kids for a hour or two, I would schedule appointments around my husband's day off.

I also began to keep a 'Sabbath" day once a week on Saturday. I don't clean, cook, shop, or pick up after anyone on this day. It is my day off and I even get out for `1/2 of the day to do whatever, or just stay home and rest if I want too. My husband will take the kids to the park, or ride bikes with them so I can take the day off. This works for us and my husband now enjoys Saturdays as a day to have fun with the kids. He does go to drill once weekend a month for the National Guard, and that Saturday, the kids and I stay home and watch movies, play and rest. Before we go to bed, we pick up after ourselves so not to have to do it the next day. (we try not to be messy)

Find out what works for you. Sunday could be your "Sabbath" if you want, just pick one day to be YOUR Day off, People who work get days off why not MOM too!