We need help!

Having problems figuring out where to start? Let other homeschoolers offer you some advice!

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We need help!

Postby ameckler » Sat Nov 28, 2009 1:01 pm

Hi there. I have never posted to this forum before so be gentle! :) We just moved to a new state due to a job change and know nobody in the city we relocated to yet. We have been here for only about a month or so. We have two twin girls that are 11. When they were young, we initially tried public school. In short it was pretty much a disaster. Public school just did not seem like a "fit" for the two kids. So with a lot of anxiety, we decided to give homeschooling a try starting around 1-2 grade or so. Both girls absolutely love it and "bought" into it right away and are doing well. Here is the dilemma...

As mentioned above, we just moved to this new area and know basically no one. We are involved in a couple home school co-ops in town to supplement the homeschooling at home. In addition, we are currently looking for a good church. The problem is that up until this point, the kids have not really made any friends. I mean they interact with other kids in the co-op and in church etc., but they do not really have the opportunity to bond and play with other kids outside of the classroom. We are beginning to get worried that we will start seeing negative impact to both girls eventually if they are not able make some friends. We just don't want them to be lonely, especially in a brand new place such as this.

Along these lines, even though that homeschooling is working well for the most parts, we have talked about putting the kids in public school in order for them to make some friends. We are worried that we could be potentially making a bad decision and are not being patient enough. We just want the best for both of them!

We have not had time yet to get the kids involved in many extra curricular activities. I think this will help to some degree but might not give them that "best friend" that all little girls desire. We have found that with most extra curricular activities, you are pretty much in a class like acting, cheerleading, gymnastics, pottery, etc., and do not have lots of time to socialize since you are in class with an instructor. It is not like recess at public school when they have a change to bond several times a week with the same kids outside of class.

Anyway, sorry about the rambling. Does anybody have any suggestions? Are we just being paranoid? Is public school a good choice? Should we just be patient and continue on the road we are on? Any suggestions would be greatly appreciated. Thanks!

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Postby 4given » Sat Nov 28, 2009 7:00 pm

Well, I am biased but... I don't believe PS is the answer. Recess is perhaps about 20-30 minutes IF the school still has it... many have done away with it. The rest of the day is spent sitting in a classroom, for the most part.

Off the top of my head, I would suggest trying to foster friendships with girls that they meet in various activities. Have a couple of friends over at a time and see what clicks. When you do find a church that feels like home, that will present more opportunity.

I do understand how you're feeling. I couldn't shake the feeling that my boys were missing out on "something" by HSing. I put them in PS for a couple of years... they weren't missing ANYTHING.

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Postby MelissaM » Sun Dec 06, 2009 5:43 am

I understand your concern, but be a little patient. Your girls are still young enough to accept a little helping hand in making friends. Joining some extra-curricular activities will help. They may not instantly make a 'best' friend, but they will start to get to know some other children. You can assist things along then by inviting friends over, or arranging with their parents to meet them somewhere (park, skating rink, whatever) so that the kids can play.

Be a little creative! Your daughters' educations are a long-term investment. If things take a little time sometimes, that's ok.

I hope this helps.
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gardening momma
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Postby gardening momma » Fri Dec 11, 2009 11:54 am

How well do your daughters get along with each other? Is there room for closer bonding? I would suggest that your family's first socialization priority is for your girls to be very close, if not best, friends with each other.

Secondly, not everyone has a best friend at school. When I was in elementary, I had friends, but they were closer to acquaintances than they were to being buddies. When we moved just before I began 7th grade, then I met (in school) the girl who became my best friend--we still keep in touch.

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Postby mschickie » Fri Dec 11, 2009 9:02 pm

Be patient. Try and set up a play date with some kids from your co-op. It may take a little while but they will develop freindships and they will probably be alot better freinds than the type they will make at school. Does your co-op do fellowship get togethers if not maybe try setting one up or even play groups. Just give it some time and enjoy your time together.

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