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new 2 HS 13yr old w/ADHD

 
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jboh603
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Joined: 01 Jun 2008
Posts: 3
Location: New Hampshire

PostPosted: Thu Jun 05, 2008 12:08 am    Post subject: new 2 HS 13yr old w/ADHD Reply with quote

I need some advise on HS a boy who is very upset about being HS'd. We as parents have made the decision to HS this coming year. We have been let down every school year by PS. We have had enough! Our son has an IEP, he has ADHD, he is forgetful, non caring about school. He hates school in fact, it is just social for him. I would really like to help him like to learn. How do you get a child to want to be HS'd? I know that he will like it, eventually.... but how can get him to at least give it a try?? He has oppositional defiant disorder as well, I feel like he will refuse to do work for me at home just like school. believe me we have tried punishment, rewards etc. he just doesn't care.... so he says. We haven't even started HSing yet and he is already upset, saying well I guess I'm not going to do anymore work at school because I'm being HS'd so what's the point. (I am having him finish the last 2 weeks of school) he is just so stubborn, he is angry with us. We just can't keep watching the years go by and him not make progress at school. They just keep sending him along to the next grade. He is failing 3 out of 4 main subjects. He will still go on to the next grade though. I just don't get it!! HELP
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Elei
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Joined: 23 Sep 2007
Posts: 41

PostPosted: Thu Jun 05, 2008 6:58 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Hello,

I know what you mean.
I have two ADHD kids, the only difference is that I got them out of school earlier because I saw what was going to happen. Lot's of ADHD kids learn in a different way. Maybe you could do some reading on the multiple intelligences and different learning styles.

Some people say that children who had a bad schoolexperience and start homeschooling need about 1 month of "de-schooling" for every schoolyear so this means you have about 1 year to "de-school". Maybe that is too long and I can understand, but keep this in mind when bad days come and then just take a day or a week off. Don't try to push too hard.

What is most important for you now I think is not the knowledge and the curriculum, but just to give him back the love of learning that every child has. Concentrate on that and forget about filling in the blanks and writing book reports, he won't do that anyway. It'll be just a waste of time and a continuous struggle going on.

You'll have to find something your son likes. There has to be something, every teenager has something, even if it is computers, comics, sports, ..... Let him choose something he WANTS to do or observe your child and find out about it. Then start working with that.
Do you like computers? Ok, what do you want to know about it? Let's look it up on the computer. Sit with him so that you can control what he is doing on the computer, talk about what he discovers. Maybe find an old computer somewhere and just take it apart. What does it look like inside?
Let him do chores or more "schoolwork" to earn money to buy computerstuff.

Do you like sports, get him signed up for that sport, it will give him friends again. Let him work out. Look up who got medals for that sport, teams, graphs, points, meters..... whatever.
Comics. Get comics from the library, let him read comics, why not? Try to keep the content non violent. Let him invent his own comic, drawing and writing.

You'll have to find something he likes, and then try to elaborate "schoollike" activities around that subject.

There are also some books on homeschooling ADHD kids.
- Homeschooling the challenging child (Christine M. Field)
- Homeschooling the child with ADD (lenore Colacion Hayes)
- How to get your child off the refrigerator and on to learning (Carol Barnier)

I hope this helps you a bit.
Elei.
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jboh603
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Joined: 01 Jun 2008
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Location: New Hampshire

PostPosted: Tue Jun 10, 2008 10:18 pm    Post subject: Thanks Reply with quote

I really needed someone to reply to my post! thanks that was very encouraging!! Just this past week my son has actually let his guard down, and is giving the HS idea a try! This is major progress! He is also telling me about how teachers in the past have made him feel bad about himself. I already feel like we are connecting, and together we will be able to HS! He has really been reaching out and showing affection, by just coming up and giving me a hug for no reason.
I had told him that he would be able to go to PS to do UA classes, (he really was upset about not seeing his friends so I thought he could go and do the UA) and he told me this week that he would do HS, but doesn't want to go to PS to do UA classes. More progress!
Thanks again for the response it's helpful
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Elei
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PostPosted: Wed Jun 11, 2008 1:17 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

By the way, there are some specific homeschooling ADHDkids e-mail lists on the net.
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Mark
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PostPosted: Mon Jun 16, 2008 10:17 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

sounds like you've made a good start. Smile
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OliveOly
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PostPosted: Fri Jul 25, 2008 8:41 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

I just want to add a confirmation about how good that 1st reply was -- I regret not "deschooling" my older child more. I was so worried about performance, since their dad (my ex-husband) was not into homeschooling, that I had my then 5th grader start "work" earlier than I should have.
She wouldn't have lost any ground if she took six months off to read and ride horses. She learns best though play anyway.
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twinmom2
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Joined: 05 Jan 2009
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Location: Texas

PostPosted: Thu Feb 05, 2009 1:20 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

A couple of things come to mind. One is, I am wondering if he may feel a bit like you are switching to hm because he failed. Maybe it would help to really discuss with him why you are choosing to do it. Also, are there any other homeschoolers in your area that you can team up with? If it is a social aspect that has him really bummed, maybe teaming up with some other families for parts of the curriculum would help him feel less isolated. 13 would be a hard age to leave a social environment if your personality likes that sort of thing.
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vmsgirl71
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Joined: 14 Apr 2009
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Location: Waterford, MI

PostPosted: Wed Apr 15, 2009 12:47 am    Post subject: Re: new 2 HS 13yr old w/ADHD Reply with quote

I feel as though I just wrote this. I understand this is an old thread, but this is also my son..ADHD/ODD and Dyslexic.
I approached my son with the positive aspects of HS along with the fact that there are many people locally who have decided to HS their children as well. I joined a local online group and found that there are so many more children being HS in our district that my son will have no problems keeping his old friend's, but gaining new ones in community classes and weekly meetings if we desire to go to them.
Since I am new to the whole HS life, I hope to make the right choices and am going to incorporate some traditional and non traditional methods. My son is very hands on, so I plan on doing things on a more visual level than on paper.
MY son is looking forward to the change and cannot wait to get away from his "team teachers" who have made him into the "problem". Cool



jboh603 wrote:
I need some advise on HS a boy who is very upset about being HS'd. We as parents have made the decision to HS this coming year. We have been let down every school year by PS. We have had enough! Our son has an IEP, he has ADHD, he is forgetful, non caring about school. He hates school in fact, it is just social for him. I would really like to help him like to learn. How do you get a child to want to be HS'd? I know that he will like it, eventually.... but how can get him to at least give it a try?? He has oppositional defiant disorder as well, I feel like he will refuse to do work for me at home just like school. believe me we have tried punishment, rewards etc. he just doesn't care.... so he says. We haven't even started HSing yet and he is already upset, saying well I guess I'm not going to do anymore work at school because I'm being HS'd so what's the point. (I am having him finish the last 2 weeks of school) he is just so stubborn, he is angry with us. We just can't keep watching the years go by and him not make progress at school. They just keep sending him along to the next grade. He is failing 3 out of 4 main subjects. He will still go on to the next grade though. I just don't get it!! HELP

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Jaenyd
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Joined: 15 Dec 2009
Posts: 5

PostPosted: Tue Dec 15, 2009 5:39 pm    Post subject: Answer to your question Reply with quote

I think that this blog post will be a bit of a help in trying to understand your child.

http://www.homemaking911.com/2008/02/02/the-easily-distracted-child/
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