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What would you do?

 
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wrightno
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Joined: 23 Mar 2007
Posts: 32

PostPosted: Mon Apr 23, 2007 5:32 pm    Post subject: What would you do? Reply with quote

HELLO FELLOW HOMESCHOOLERS.I HAVE BEEN DOING RESEARCH ON HOMESCHOOLIND AND I REALIZE NATIONWIDE THEIR IS ALOT OF PARENTS PULLING THEIR KIDS OUT OF PUBLIC SCHOOL FOR ALMOST THE SAME REASONS.AT 1 POINT WHEN I TRIED TO PULL MY SON OUT,THEY PULLED MY SON TO THE SIDE AND TALKED TO HIM ABOUT STAYING IN SCHOOL WHAT HE WILL BE MISSING IF HE IS HOMESCHOOLED,SO BY THE TIME I GOT TO THE SCHOOL HIS ATTITUDE CHANGED A LITTLE ABOUT HOMESCHOOL.SO,I JUST LEFT IT ALONE ,AND ON THE OTHERHAND MY HUSBAND IS AGAINST HOMESCHOOLING A LITTLE.IM CONFUSED A LITTLE AT 1 POINT MY SON COMES HOME ASKING ME TO HOMESCHOOL HIM BECAUSE HOW THE KIDS WERE TREATING HIM IN SCHOOL,THEN A TALK FROM THE SCHOOLCOUNCILER AND THE PRINCIPAL,HIS MIND CHANGED.LAST THING I WANT TO DO IS CONFUSE HIM AND PRESSURE HIM TO BE HOMESCHOOLED.I JUST HOPE FOR THE BEST TO COME.

Editor's Note: The following is pasted from another similar thread:

HELLO ALL,IM WANTING TO HOMESCHOOL MY 14 YEAR OLD SON.HE ISENT SO HAPPY IN THE PUBLIC SCHOOL HE IS IN.HE GETS PICKED ON ALOT,AND SOME KIDS MAKE RACIAL REMARKS AT HIM ETC...... THE PROBLEM IS MY HUSBAND IS AGAINST ME HOMESCHOOLING HIM.HE SAYS THE KIDS BELONG IN SCHOOL.MOMS OUT THEIT,HONESTLY WHAT WOULD YOU DO IF YOU WERE IN MY SHOES?PLEASE REPLY ASAP.THANKS SO MUCH,NATASHA WRIGHT
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Cally
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Joined: 28 Jan 2007
Posts: 14

PostPosted: Mon Apr 23, 2007 6:09 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

You did the right thing leaving it alone I think at this point. What they are doing is trying to convince him at this late hour they will help him. If you can wait till summer and then pull the plug on school it might go more smoothly. Unless he is in danger then I would pull him out fast!!!!!!!!!!

These two school officials may have even offered to help him. If he stays till the end of school I think he may get a reality check that they just do a lot of talking. Let them pretend to care and try to play tug of war with you. You and I both know they won't be winning because you're the mom and you know whats best.

Then you have the summer to talk with him and your husband about homeschooling and even maybe do a month of schooling during the summer to show them how well it will work!

Remember they (school officials) are looking at dollar signs and you are looking into the eyes of your child! There is quite a difference in who really cares!

Of course this is all just my humble opinion.
Cally
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StellarStory
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Joined: 15 Apr 2007
Posts: 472

PostPosted: Fri Apr 27, 2007 9:48 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

When my kids were miserable in Public School and wanted to home school, my husband was terrified about the whole idea. No one in our families wanted us to do it either.

I decided I wouldn't home school if my husband would be mad at me all year and if it would endanger our marriage. Otherwise I would because I felt it was the best answer for our kids.

We had to communicate a great deal about the whole thing. Then we decided to give it a trial go. The trial was to see if we could get along well, something my husband was worried about and to see if the kids did what they were assigned on a schedule and learned well.

We all love home school now, four years later. My husband still has some primal fear about it. Almost instantly the kids got along better without the outside influence of school. The kids get MUCH more time with their father under more favorable circumstances.

We are all happier and closer to one another. The kids have learned MUCH more this way. Each year we find a way to make home school better as we learn what did and did not work.

BTW, I don't recommend posting all in caps. It looks like you are text screaming at people.

Stellar
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Hugsncrumbs
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Joined: 24 Oct 2007
Posts: 4
Location: SE Wisconsin

PostPosted: Wed Oct 24, 2007 1:22 pm    Post subject: Question for Stellar Reply with quote

How old are your kids? My kids are 5 and 3 and my husband is scared of homeschooling but said he was open to a "trial" of it. However, he insisted we put our son in a 4-K program this year (just sweet-talking me with the homeschool trial thing, I guess, cause when it came down to it... ) Our son has been coming home stressed and "mean"; a big change in his personality. But my dh still insists that school is the best thing for him. How did you convince your husband to actually let you "try homeschooling"? Thanks!
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StellarStory
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Joined: 15 Apr 2007
Posts: 472

PostPosted: Wed Oct 24, 2007 4:28 pm    Post subject: Re: Question for Stellar Reply with quote

Hugsncrumbs wrote:
How old are your kids? My kids are 5 and 3 and my husband is scared of homeschooling but said he was open to a "trial" of it. However, he insisted we put our son in a 4-K program this year (just sweet-talking me with the homeschool trial thing, I guess, cause when it came down to it... ) Our son has been coming home stressed and "mean"; a big change in his personality. But my dh still insists that school is the best thing for him. How did you convince your husband to actually let you "try homeschooling"? Thanks!


My kids are now nearly 17 and 14.5. We began home schooling in the last six weeks after SAT's their 6th and 4th grades. Both kids were so miserable that we were at the doctor's office at least once a week.

My deal with my husband was that he had to promise not to be hating me for trying it. He also had to promise that this would not endanger our marriage.

I had to promise that he could still do whatever he wanted on his off days regardless of the home schooling. I also had to promise that he would NOT have to be involved in the home school except in the case of emergencies or advanced math problems. *L*

(There are still times today that I am resentful that my life partner is not my home schooling partner btw. He HATES talking about curriculum for instance and I NEED to.)

Our trial period was for the last six weeks of school that year. It was mostly to see if the kids would do what they were told, academically, when they were told and meet their deadlines. Also we wanted to see how the family would get along with that much time together.

If so we would homeschool the next year. We would compare the SAT scores they took in public school to the ones they took during our first full year of home school. (This turned out to be quite a problem however. It was rather like comparing apples to oranges for a lot of reasons.)

Anyway, that's what the deal was. Fortunately my husband really knows himself and what he needs. When he makes me a promise he can stick to it. When he says he will support me even though he thinks what I'm doing is crazy he actually does manage to support me.

Also fortunately, we both want what is best for our kids and we both are willing to listen to the other one. We would prefer the other one of us be happy rather than ourselves. This makes for a very good partnership.

Those that can't compromise or really hear anything other than what they want or their next argument point in their heads are MUCH harder to work with. I know because I was married once before.

In your case I might ask, what he would like to see the child learn or have from pre school. Then I would think about how to get those things for the child in home schooling or try to explain why I didn't think the child needed those things.

Sadly, I think many men get all wrapped up with their boys being a "manly, macho, boy." I suspect that they equate the rough things about school as something to be endured. (After all they did it and look how manly they are.)

Homeschooling doesn't seem very macho and with mom in charge might in fact make them "soft." These are the same men that insist their boys play a sport or several. They always seem to think their wives are too easy on the kids as well.

Some see homeschooling as failing or dropping out of society.

Hopefully he cares as much about your and your child's thoughts and feelings as you do about his and your child's. If that is the case you can probably work this out with a lot of consideration and thought.

Good luck! Let us know how it goes!

HTH,

Stellar
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JDS
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Joined: 22 Oct 2007
Posts: 17

PostPosted: Thu Oct 25, 2007 7:21 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

I can only give my opinion based on our decisions so far since I am not technically homeschooling yet.

My oldest is 6 and in the first grade at our local public school. She is doing fine academically, she still enjoys it, and there is no immediate danger to her at this point. However, my husband and I both feel very strongly that the Lord is leading us to homeschool our children. We have been thinking about it, talking about it, and praying about if for nearly a year now.

Anyway, we deciced to let my oldest finish first grade and then pull her out before her second grade year. Meanwhile, I will be homeschooling my 4.5 year old to prepare him for K next year. Nothing formal, but the usual pre-K stuff to help him get ready for our first year of officially homeschooling next year.

Like I said earlier, this is what we decided was best for us. I pray that you & your family will find what works best for you.

Jen
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kaysandee
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Joined: 25 Oct 2007
Posts: 6
Location: Louisiana

PostPosted: Thu Oct 25, 2007 7:55 pm    Post subject: Get Out While It's Still Legal Reply with quote

I believe, truly, that with all of the current news, that an urgent warning is in order. If you are considering pulling your children out of public schooling - Make the leap of faith. There are so many resources now for homeschooling moms that it is wonderful. It is also wonderful for family bonding and building stronger family ties.

Now for the urgent warning! (Plus you can check out [http://www.qrsmess.com] In the 13 years that I have worked with homeschool students coming from public schools, I have not tested ONE student who has tested on grade level. Most are anywhere from 2 to 4 years behind.

Right now I have 14 first through third graders and the only ones who can read are the ones who were homeschooled. That means that 10 can't read. Most are from public school and a couple from Catholic school.

The biggest travesty this year is a 6th grader (public school) who's supposed to be in the 7th who couldn't pass our 3rd grade testing. He can't read and his PS resource teacher said that to get him to the 6th grade his teachers read all of his work to him. Yet, he is a perfectly normal child who wants to learn.
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Hugsncrumbs
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Joined: 24 Oct 2007
Posts: 4
Location: SE Wisconsin

PostPosted: Mon Oct 29, 2007 6:12 pm    Post subject: Thank you for your replies Reply with quote

Thanks for your thoughtful advice and replies. It is good insight because that is my dh's main reason for wanting our son to go to school and thinks the public school is good enough (ie so he won't be a "mama's boy"). I request your prayers because dh can be a very stiff-necked man, not only with homeschooling but in other areas of life as well, which makes it a challenge in our (my kids and my) daily life. (p.s. I secretly pulled my son out of the pre-school yesterday because of some of the curriculum I saw they had planned for the next month. I figure that I'm going to be standing before God, not dh, at the Judgement. But I still need your prayers for the meantime!)
Thank you.
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