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Do I stay or do I go?

 
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momo3boys
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Joined: 14 Feb 2006
Posts: 574
Location: Western Mass

PostPosted: Wed Sep 05, 2007 12:43 pm    Post subject: Do I stay or do I go? Reply with quote

I have a problem making this decision. I'm not sure whether to continue receiving special services for my 9yo son. He has been getting services since he was 2yo. It started out as just speech and then in 1st grade he started getting OT and Sped help with reading and math. I now do the math at home, but he still receives service for the other three at the local public school

Over the summer, at a homeschool camp, he started reading, like going from barely reading at the Beginning 1st grade level, to reading in the 2nd grade level, in a matter of moments! It was amazing to watch! It made me think, how much of his problem is he's just not ready for what they are pushing him to do, and what is a real learning disability. I know that many people don't believe in LDs and I am really at a loss now as to what to do.DO I send him again this year, or keep him home? I go to meet the new special ed director tomorrow afternoon. Any suggestions?
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ncmom
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Joined: 13 Jul 2007
Posts: 321
Location: Eastern NC

PostPosted: Wed Sep 05, 2007 1:50 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

I don't know what kind of problem your son has but if you can deal with him at home and teach him then why not do it. You can still teach him at his pace. Isn't that what the school is supposed to be doing anyway, teaching him at his pace so he will learn it. In fact being in a non stressful environment may be a better learning atmosphere for him anyway and school can be stressful so it may be working against him. Some kids really have a hard time learning to read and when it finally does click then watch out. You may find he catches up with no problem now you just don't know. He is only a year or two behind now. Keep encouraging him and he will probably have no problem catching up. If he did that good at camp it was probably the atmosphere that helped a lot, loving parents who cared and no matter how you cut it HS parents are a lot different than PS teachers. Maybe you could find a friend or another parent that you could get ideas from or could help you if you run into a dead end. If it were me I would go ahead and give it a try, but that is just me. Either way good luck!
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StellarStory
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Joined: 15 Apr 2007
Posts: 472

PostPosted: Thu Sep 06, 2007 7:54 am    Post subject: Re: Do I stay or do I go? Reply with quote

momo3boys wrote:
I have a problem making this decision. I'm not sure whether to continue receiving special services for my 9yo son. He has been getting services since he was 2yo. It started out as just speech and then in 1st grade he started getting OT and Sped help with reading and math. I now do the math at home, but he still receives service for the other three at the local public school

Over the summer, at a homeschool camp, he started reading, like going from barely reading at the Beginning 1st grade level, to reading in the 2nd grade level, in a matter of moments! It was amazing to watch! It made me think, how much of his problem is he's just not ready for what they are pushing him to do, and what is a real learning disability. I know that many people don't believe in LDs and I am really at a loss now as to what to do.DO I send him again this year, or keep him home? I go to meet the new special ed director tomorrow afternoon. Any suggestions?


How does your son feel about going? If he is happy with it, I'd let him continue.

If he isn't, I'd keep him home and teach him myself.

When a child is unhappy, you know it. That's my acid test.
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momo3boys
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Joined: 14 Feb 2006
Posts: 574
Location: Western Mass

PostPosted: Fri Sep 07, 2007 6:35 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

I went to the meeting yesterday, and decided to keep him in for now. In the hopes that if he works hard enough he won't need it next year. He likes it about as much as he likes doing any schoolwork. There's no kicking and screaming, but just "do I have to?" I know that he needs his OT, I can't do that right now, I don't know how. His speech and languages skills are getting much better but still a grade or two behind. His reading and math are at least a full grade behind and his writing is about two grades behind. My problem is, should I worry about it as much as I do? Is he just a late bloomer? They are doing more testing this fall, he is due for his three year eval and that should tell me more of what needs to be done. That is one of the reasons that I stayed so that he could get his testing and find out where he is and what is needed to be done. He is making leaps and bounds now and it is very exciting, I think he can finally "catch up" with the rest of the grade level kids. I am going to sit down with him and talk to him about working really hard at his school work and not having to go next year.

That's the plan, thank you for the advice.
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kerry1968
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Joined: 01 Sep 2007
Posts: 20
Location: crown point ny

PostPosted: Thu Sep 20, 2007 10:32 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

My son received services at home. They came through our county instead of our school district. He really enjoyed these visits.
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Regina Hogsten
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Joined: 22 Oct 2005
Posts: 132
Location: Maryland, US

PostPosted: Thu Sep 20, 2007 8:13 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Once you withdrawal these services, it will be difficult to get them back. You have a major burden on yourself. Take all the help you can get for your child. It may help your sanity and your marriage. You will have someone else's opinions and experiences when you are unsure and discouraged. My advice is to try not to do all this on your own!

I am speaking from experience. Two of my own children have chronic diseases, one grandson has autism and the other grandson has a disorder of autism. In addition to homeschooling my own children, I have been taking care of my grandchildren while my daughter worked. I worked with and taught the little boys, as well as recently other teachers and play groups. After 5 years, my daughter was able to make other arrangements for the little boys. Taking care of our children's needs is draining mentally, emotionally, physically, and financially. I am finally able to apply more time and effort to my children.

My sister and her husband have 2 out of their 4 children with a terminal illness, epidermolysis dystrophic,
http://www.ebinfoworld.com/abouteb_dystrophic.htm
This is a connective tissue disease where the skin blisters and comes off. The body has to be wrapped with bandages, etc. appearing like a mummy. The damage to their bodies is horrific. My family has been supporting my sister and her family with encouragement, advice, breaks and anything else we can do. After 23 years (the oldest child), she is finally getting some nurses to come into the house, but only for help with the 23 year old, not the 15 year old. My beautiful sister is fried.

My point.
When we are young, we take on a lot because we are fresh and haven't been worn down. As time goes on, all the energy output becomes cumulative. Eventually, you become too tired for social events, too tired to laugh, or even enjoy lunch with your best friends. It is not my intent to lecture, but to encourage you and others to accept various kinds of help. It's good for you, your children, and your husband.

You love your son and you are going to worry. As moms, we have to learn when our worry prompts productive actions and when we are allowing our anxiety to interfere. (I've been guilty of this too often.)
You are doing a good job keeping up with everything that needs to be done.
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momo3boys
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Joined: 14 Feb 2006
Posts: 574
Location: Western Mass

PostPosted: Fri Sep 21, 2007 7:58 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Thank you all for your help and advice. Ds is receiving services and it is working out well. I am learning some great strategies for helping him in his reading. He is also due this year for his 3year evaluation. This is great because they do some very simple and unintrusive tests that can tell me how he is progressing and what areas he still needs to work on. Thank you again for all the advice. I guess I was kinda getting paranoid. Very Happy
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Phi 4:13 I can do all things through Christ which strengtheneth me.
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Regina Hogsten
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Joined: 22 Oct 2005
Posts: 132
Location: Maryland, US

PostPosted: Fri Sep 21, 2007 1:37 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

I understand. I drive myself crazy, and the kids, too.
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