Learning to go against the flow....

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Learning to go against the flow....

Postby BKarnsund » Fri Jun 05, 2009 7:00 am

I am a mom of four.

I grew up in a European school, my friends smoked, drank, the beach was full of topless women, and the tv had sex shows on at 3pm. I, on the other hand, never smoked, drank, I have never tried any drugs, and have no addictions. I have always loved to tell people about Jesus, was strong in my convictions, had a heart for those hurting, and sought out to be a light in the world. I have no problem with peer-pressure, outspoken with my thoughts, and love God and the people He wants to bring to himself.

I´m thinking about the possibility of homeschooling my four kids (ages 3-8 ). They are energetic, outgoing, God-loving children. So far in PS, the two oldest stand up and are outspoken about their faith in God to their peers. I enjoy going over what they learn in the world, and we look together at what the Bible says. They are learning how to live in the world. We are told to be in the world, but not of the world. This is a lot of work, as I have to walk very closely with them and re-teach them what they learn at school.

Learning to be strong against the flow is something I would like for them to learn from little up. Along with growing up with a love for God and His Word, I want them to learn how to live that out while surrounded by darkness and sin (which is the reality). This takes a lot of work on the part of parents to be involved, but is part of living out God´s Word. Knowing it is not enough. I want them to live it.

I know of many kids that have been homeschooled (or grow up in a Christian bubble) and go wild when in college. I know this can happen with any kid, but it was always a concern for me. This is not a question about socialization. I don´t want them socialized in the world, I want to teach them to stand against it. A much different thing. Being smart is not my highest wish for them. Although of course I want them well-educated, what a priceless gift to give them of a love for the Lord with all their heart and mind AMIDST a fallen magnetic world around them.

I would like to homeschool them, but can they learn these things while homeschooling?

Any advice? Thoughts? Have you ever thought about this?

Thank you for any comments you send your way. I´m all ears.

a mom wanting the best for her little arrows,

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Postby elliemaejune » Fri Jun 05, 2009 11:46 pm

I don't believe you'll find any Scriptural basis for putting your dc into harm's way when they are young. Jesus didn't even go into ministry until He was in His 30's.

Here's what a friend of mine wrote on another forum:

Our children in schools are not missionaries but are the mission field themselves. ALL children in the school are the mission field. The battle for their minds and hearts is fought daily. Influences from teachers to textbooks to media purposefully impact ALL the children, usually not for the furtherance of Christianity. If folly is bound up in the heart of a child (as the Bible says it is, Prov. 22:15) how can we expect him/her to not only withstand this impact but proactively influence others? How can we teach our children as we walk by the way, when we rise, etc. (as the Bible says we should, Deut. 6:4-7) when they are away from us for most of the day? In other words, how can we expect to equip our folly-filled children to fight this battle wisely when the bulk of their time is spent being trained in the enemy camp?

Are our children really supposed to sway the minds of teachers and students alike with their immature powers of persuasion and articulation? Or more likely will bad company corrupt good character (1 Cor. 15:33)? We need to train our soldiers before we send them off to battle. As Paul writes in 1 Cor. 13:11 "When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I put childish ways behind me." Young children are not equipped to proselytize in the school setting. (Goodness, some teachers (incorrectly) don't even think you are allowed to have a Bible in class!)
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Postby BKarnsund » Sat Jun 06, 2009 5:46 am

Thanks for the reply!

I didn't mean that my kids should be missionaries. It's more a concern of them learning to not give in to peer pressure, of them slowly and gently learning to stand against the world; not of being missionaries. I absolutely don't consider it my child's responsibility to "sway the minds of teachers and students" or to be any kind of missionary. I agree with that.

If my child is going to public school, I don't think I'm sending the child to battle yet though. A small battle, yes, but not the real battle. My child's real battle is when he/she leaves home (ex: college). While my child is in my home, under my wings, and attending a few hours at school... I don't consider that battle. I consider that a training ground.

Having said that, though, I don't WANT my child to be in that world either. That is why I want to homeschool and why I look for some thoughts on this subject. I am not against homeschooling. That is why I'm here asking these questions. I want to homeschool, but I also want my child to learn to stand against this world. My question was that I do think a growing gentle training ground IS needed and how can I do that through homeschooling.

I know of many families that get surrounded by Christian friends, Christian activities, church, and live in a nice little bubble where they never have to defend, explain, or fight the fight. I want my kids to see me stand up for my faith and stand up for my God and his word. When one needs to defend one's faith, it is so much more clearified in one's heart. I've seen that in my 8 year old. It's amazing. I'm not talking about creating missionaries. I'm talking about creating disciples. I'm focusing on my child, not the unsaved around him/her.

Regarding God's command to be in the world without being of the world: How do I train my child to do that through homeschooling?

Thank you for your patience. I do want to have this clarified in my heart before making this decision. Not necessarily to send them to public school, but more to know how to homeschool.

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Postby 4given » Sat Jun 06, 2009 6:17 am

I would like to say... Public School is not the only place to encounter the "world." For us, going to the local park is sufficient (i.e. teens taking over the swings and smoking weed, discussing sexual exploits,etc.)

At such young ages, learning to stand up for what they believe in, against heavy opposition... sounds more like survival or a crap-shoot. IMO, (please don't take me wrong)... right now, they "mostly" believe because you believe.

Examine why you think you were able to stand so firmly. Was it because the opposition was there? Doubt it. Perhaps it had more to do with your personal relationship with Christ. Or maybe, it had something to do with your God-given personality. Probably both and then some.

Never forget that the "heart of man is deceitfully wicked above all else." We do not have seek out the darkness. Sometimes we need only look inward.

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Postby BKarnsund » Sat Jun 06, 2009 6:24 am

Very true. I like your response that "Public School is not the only place to encounter the world."

You also say "Examine why you think you were able to stand so firmly. Was it because the opposition was there? Doubt it. Perhaps it had more to do with your personal relationship with Christ. Or maybe, it had something to do with your God-given personality. Probably both and then some." Again, this is something I have also thought of. Thanks for your comment.

Just because someone became "strong" from having a dad with a cold character and no love, doesn't mean that the husband should do that to his kids to create strength.

"We do not have seek out the darkness." Very true.

Thanks for answering!

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Postby andyjessop » Thu Aug 13, 2009 11:53 am

There are ways and means of doing things. Either by teaching them yourself with trusted textbooks, or by using one of the many online resources available to you. These are often overlooked but there are organisations out there that can provide your kids with quality education in a way that you can monitor exactly what their interaction is with their peers. This way, they get to socialise in a way that you know is safe.
Andy Jessop
Oxford Learning Partnership, providing for colleges from the University of Oxford, UK

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