Introduction and questions on adaptation

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millerfamilymayhem
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Introduction and questions on adaptation

Postby millerfamilymayhem » Fri Jul 03, 2009 11:22 pm

After a few posts I feel like I should run the gauntlet.

I have been married to my wife Amanda for 10 years this summer marks 12 years of being together. This has given us the opportunity to bring two boys into the world. one is 10 the other 6. We/ I am looking into HS for the eldest. The younger will start later on.

I suppose there is a catalyst that starts this process for everyone. Kristoper (the ten year old) Has been having problems in school. Mostly dealing with other kids. With out going into too much detail he is much better adjusted when not dealing with the soap opera of friends he has.

I love what I have read so far! Although it seems to good to be true. Better sibling relationships? Unbelievable! My kids say they hate each other. Always bicker about small stuff, fights, ect. My brother and I were never like this. Responsibility? This kid will fight when asked to help with a task. I believe in group participation vs dictating tasks.

I feel like I would be a good dad for homeschooling, but I am concerned about my son being responsible. He has the potential but I am scared of the adjustment. I am setting up a Mac in their room in hopes that it will help with the learning. Gotta love the parental controls. I really don't want to be a disciplinarian for education. Seems to defeat the HS mentality. We are trying a dry run this summer but the first couple of days has been an epic fail. Are the home school kids really sitting down and reading for hours every day? Always the good little students with open minds and total respect that the lit I have read imply they are? How do you get your kids serious about HS?

thank you.

Richard

FFH
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Postby FFH » Sat Jul 04, 2009 4:25 am

I'm glad to see the interest you have in your boys and their life/character. Take time to listen and "get to know them" all over again. They need to know you love them, not just hear you say the words. I need to remind my self of this all the time, but when you do....they do really respond by doing their homework, and being responsible. Group participation is great (another homeschool advantage)! When you work with them at something they will do it too. Things need done, but take advantage of the time together and enjoy them. They will learn to enjoy working because it means time with someone who really cares about them. Keep the "school" part of HS simple to the point and it doesn't take that much time. That way you get to spend time on the important stuff like responsibility.

Blessings,
Randall
Randall & Karen Webster have been enjoying the advanage of homeschooling with their 5 children since 1999. They offer a FREE 5-part mini course on their website http://www.frustrationfreehomeschool.com

4given
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Postby 4given » Sat Jul 04, 2009 6:30 am

Hsing may not be the magic cure for all the issues you're facing, but it will certainly afford you more time to address these things. I have 4 boys (13,11,6,3). The oldest 2 had a couple yrs in PS and I watched as their relationship grew steadily apart. That has been several yrs ago now. My boys squabble, sometimes over the silliest things... yet, they are very close.

Sometimes I think my oldest was born "responsible." He just seems to naturally clean up after himself, keep his things nice, and help out wherever needed. My second son is the opposite. I can be holding 12 grocery bags with no hands to open the door... he's staring right at me and it never occurs to him that I need help. Each of my kids possess differing strengths and weaknesses. I am thankful for the opportunity that HSing gives us to work on character issues.

My boys do NOT sit and read for hours a day... but, they absolutely love reading. I have designated a set time each day for independent reading. It is their favorite part of the day. However they would NOT choose to do it unless I planned it.

You may want to check into "deschooling." I haven't done it so I can't really give you specifics. If I remember correctly... for every year the child has been in PS, take one week to deschool.

I ABSOLUTELY believe in HSing. I believe in many instances it helps the child become a more responsible, more respectful, more knowledgable (and so on) individual. But (BIG BUT) beware! I have crossed paths with many a HS parent that is hell-bent on showing the world how AWESOME their kids are which, in turn, shows how awesome a teacher they are. (I have many theories on "why" this happens... I won't bore you with them.) As a result, many "regular folk" feel alienated by their supposed perfection. Just remember, HSers are people. too. If it seems too good to be true, it usually is. EVERYONE has their struggles.

Enjoy your son and remind yourself regularly "why" you have chosen this path for your family. I think you'll do great!

millerfamilymayhem
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Postby millerfamilymayhem » Sat Jul 04, 2009 9:31 am

I appreciate your response 4given and FFH. It is what I needed to hear. I got a good laugh over the homeschoolers with trophy kids. Now that you mention it, Krist was very responsible, a natural leader. In Preschool and kindergarten he was friends with everyone. It would surprise my wife and I to go shopping and almost each time some kids would come up and say "Hi", he had a huge heart also. Now 4 grades later he doesn't lead, he bosses. I have been to talk to the principle a few time this year and this was the best school year he has ever had. I frustrates me on how school sees justice, All parties are guilty. Period. If that same principle was used in reality both the defendant and plaintiff would be fined.

I love discovery and enjoy learning. I am hoping that it will carry over well with the kids. Last week I took them to the zoo. Great time, even though it was the busiest day of the year. The drive was the most taxing part. 2.5 hrs to the destination. Oddly enough they behaved perfectly.

Amanda and I had talked about HS in the past and this week I had an unschooler show up to my work and this sparked interest. Which is t he route I am looking at.

Thanks

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Re: Introduction and questions on adaptation

Postby ncmom » Sat Jul 04, 2009 12:21 pm

millerfamilymayhem wrote:
I love what I have read so far! Although it seems to good to be true. Better sibling relationships? Unbelievable! My kids say they hate each other. Always bicker about small stuff, fights, ect. My brother and I were never like this. Responsibility? This kid will fight when asked to help with a task. I believe in group participation vs dictating tasks.

I feel like I would be a good dad for homeschooling, but I am concerned about my son being responsible. He has the potential but I am scared of the adjustment. I am setting up a Mac in their room in hopes that it will help with the learning. Gotta love the parental controls. I really don't want to be a disciplinarian for education. Seems to defeat the HS mentality. We are trying a dry run this summer but the first couple of days has been an epic fail. Are the home school kids really sitting down and reading for hours every day? Always the good little students with open minds and total respect that the lit I have read imply they are? How do you get your kids serious about HS?

Richard


I will be honest and tell you that my kids are the furthest thing from trophy kids and are far from perfect they don't always...or ever...get along or do well with every lesson. They love each other but are siblings who are 4 years apart and opposite sexes. Then they have a little brother too but he is just starting the basics. They rarely do anything together. They don't argue much anymore, but this is only because my oldest is dating and he is rarely home these days.

I do think that HS has made them more respectful and more helpful in our home. This was a change that was not overnight but gradual over several years. Kids are kids no matter where they go to school and will always go through those rebellious stages.

As far as school itself goes...mine still put up resistance to doing their lessons and just like PS kids they don't want to always sit down and do their work. We only need about 2 hours a day to get our work done and then the kids are free to do what they want. My kids DO have some "homework" to reinforce what we did that day, but it is only about 15 to 30 mins worth of work. With this kind of schedule they don't complain a lot but it does still happen.

There are days we don't have school. If everyone is just having "one of those days" we skip it and pick it up the next day. I don't see what sitting with 3 unhappy kids, who don't want to be there, is going to accomplish. We would just have to review the next day because they didn't listen the day before anyway.

I treat their school just as I would if they weren't at home. It is their responsibility to keep their books in good shape and always know where they are. I have been this way since we started. Even when my middle child was in KDG it was her responsibility to keep her books. They must bring all their supplies with them when they come to do their lessons...books, pencils, paper, ect. I will not keep track of it for them, I don't think it is to much to ask of them to keep track of their basic school supplies.

I tailor my kids curriculum to their interests and needs. We use bought curriculum, but only as a guide. Who says that what is in those books is the only thing that they can learn in that grade. As long as they know how to read, write intelligent and well worded papers, and do the required math to get into college everything else is is just extra knowledge. It is just set up in a standard format to make it easier to transition kids through the grades in the PS system and so if a child moves from a different state they will be in the same basic place as the other children.

As for reading...I have one child who LOVES to read and I can barely get his nose out of a book. He especially loves history, so his history is literature based along with a basic geography course. He also does a lot of reading in Eng and still does a Lit class. My middle child hates reading. She does it because I tell her to. She still has her lit class but that is the only reading intensive class she has. She can read and reads well...she just doesn't like to read. She only reads occasionally at night and only books she enjoys. Getting her to read her science and history lessons can sometimes drive me nuts! My youngest is to young to read and is just learning his letters and their sounds. So I am just waiting to see if he will be a reader or not.

Please don't get to discouraged over it not going well this summer. I pulled my kids out of PS too and our first year was really rough. I sometimes wondered if I had made a HUGE mistake but now I am soooooooooo glad I pulled them and wouldn't send them back for anything in the world. My kids are happy, have lots of friends, do lots of activities outside of school, and don't want to go back to the PS's. It just takes time and some adjustments on everyone's part, not just the kids.

millerfamilymayhem
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Postby millerfamilymayhem » Sun Jul 05, 2009 1:12 am

well things seem to be going down the right path! The challenges we face is building a foundation. One challenge is scheduling. My wife works mornings until the kids got out of school. I work part time 20 hrs a week doing evening work. This fall I should be starting up an auto tech course at the local community college, which is a steady 9-3 M-Th. No juggling class schedules will be a nice change. That left including days off Amanda and I have about 3 days that Kristopher would need to be supervised. I talked to my grandparents about homeschooling and my reasons for it. To my surprise it was mentioned that a relative of mine did it with positive results and they would be happy to spend a few days a week with their great-grandson.

This tickled me not since this is a major scheduling challenge that fell into place, but my Grandpa, a former farmer and a banker/loan officer has a lot to bring to the table. He is finishing up a family history that goes back 600 years. Im sure Krist can help somehow. While I was discussing HS with my grandparents, Krist drew up plans and then built a canon out of paper. I plan on doing some history and science on his canon model. He has also started a small journal of what he would like to accomplish.

let's see how this GROWS.

4given
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Postby 4given » Sun Jul 05, 2009 6:19 am

Wow! I'm so happy to hear that you have other family support.

Great job looking for Kristopher's interests and building upon them!

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Postby MelissaM » Tue Jul 07, 2009 5:00 am

How wonderful to also have another Dad on board. Awesome!
Getting Started in Homeschooling is easy at www.YourHomeschoolCommunity.com

millerfamilymayhem
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Postby millerfamilymayhem » Wed Jul 08, 2009 8:44 pm

should be fun. I have to say this site is pretty low traffic.

MelissaM
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Postby MelissaM » Thu Jul 09, 2009 3:33 am

Seems to wax and wane... when I first joined there was new stuff all the time. I'm not sure why it seems to have slowed down.
Getting Started in Homeschooling is easy at www.YourHomeschoolCommunity.com

macro_grp02
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Great Dad

Postby macro_grp02 » Wed Aug 12, 2009 7:43 pm

8) Cool and wonderful dad. And I agree with the MAC. Boys his age should be comfortable with technology. It makes them more creative.


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