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Need some advice
Posted: Tue Jun 09, 2009 6:17 pm
I have an 8 year old son and he is an only child. I have been considering homeschooling him for about a year. He has previously attended a private school and he is socially awkward. That being said, he doesn't have any after school friends and we do not have any family with children.
Does anyone have anything thoughts or concerns? He wants to home school but I am concerned that he may regret it for the above reason.
Homeschooling and Social Skills
Posted: Tue Jun 09, 2009 7:38 pm
Public school is the worst place for a child who is already socially awkward. PS kids pick on those they can pick on. The Best thing you can do for your child is homeschool him. That being said, get him out and involved in the world. Take him with you. Visit the elderly, get a paper route delivering papers, rake leaves, go shopping, go out and see real people. Adults, children, elderly, immigrants - the world is full of people who are not mean. Your son may develop superior social skills to his peers, who only learn their social skills from each other.
I have a daughter who was "born shy". I have four kids, three who are "normal" - who've been out in the world, they have traveled, they went on to college, they make friends easily, etc. This one child was never like that. HomeSchooling didn't make her better or worse. It was just a way to help her grow and develop as naturally as possible, given her personality.
Posted: Tue Jun 09, 2009 9:02 pm
So your daughter was able to work through being shy by being at home with you?
Posted: Tue Jun 09, 2009 9:32 pm
Have you looked for a group to be a part of where your son could be around other kids but in a very controlled environment and one he can pick and choose what he is part of?
My oldest used to be extremely shy. He was in PS when he was in KDG and he used to chase me down the hall in tears because he didn't want me to leave. I was lucky and he went to an awesome school then and they worked with us both to make him comfortable enough that I could leave. He did this everyday and the kids really made fun of him for it. he had NO friends and hated going.
When he was 8 he was at a point where he didn't want to do anything or go anywhere that I wasn't going to be at. He is 14 now and is no longer a shy! He has lots of friends, does all kids of activities, and no longer wants me to always be a part of everything he does. It just takes time and patience. Encourage him to do things and in some cases you may have to do what I did and make him do something he doesn't want to do. I would always stay until he was comfortable and then I would leave his sight until whatever he was doing was over, but I would always stay just in case I was needed.
He is the exception to my kids my other two don't know a stranger and do anything and everything they can find to do. And my middle child never wants me to stay more than a few minutes. I wish she needed me more!
It will get better!
Posted: Thu Jun 11, 2009 2:43 pm
It sounds like homeschooling might be a great option for your son. Some children don't grow into themselves until high school or later. Your son will probably feel relieved to be out of that pressure filled situation-to have to conform to be cool. You sound like a great mom who is truly interested in letting your son be himself. You should be able to find just enough social activities (through a homeschool group) that will be comfortable and yet stretch your son.