How do I help my child look forward to homeschooling? Help!

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How do I help my child look forward to homeschooling? Help!

Postby 3girls4me » Tue Apr 03, 2007 8:15 pm

HI everyone. I am deep into the process of preparing to begin homeschooling for the 2008-08 year. I have rising 1st and 5th graders. At first I was only planning to do it for the younger, but now after doing tons of research and choosing curriculum and going to a convention, I feel very strongly that we must do this as a family. I have every aspect of this figured out, for the most part, including activities outside of the home for my kids.

Here's my dilemma:

I told my ten year old in the beginning that the decision was hers. Now, I feel that it is my parental duty to homeschool her and give her the best academically and spiritually. I've presented in to her in the best light possible, telling her we could continue to make plans with her current friends at her school, and also meet new ones when Awana starts in the fall, plus feild trips with homeschoolers. The church has a large homeschool population, so I know there is much oppotunity for friends. She is a good, loveable, kind child...and she is so sad. She just keeps saying I don't know, mom, I don't know. I feel like she doesn't want to do it, and now I am in the position of making her, which I will do because I know it's best for her. How do I help her overcom her feelings? TO make matters worse, I will have to explain all of this to her dad who lives 1500 miles away and he doesn't know the first thing about homeschooling. I have domiciliary status which under the laws of the state mean I can make all major decision about the child myself without him, but if he wanted to he could file a motion against it. I don't think he has the time o the money to do that, so I'm not really worried, and if he did, I feel very positive that I would be awarded the right to homeschool anyway. Who knows, maybe he will be supportive. Anyone else have experience in that area?

What do I do about my ten year old? I have to go back on my word about letting it be her decision, but I don't want to make her totally sad and depressed. I've never seen her react like this to something. PLEASE HELP with advice. Thanks.

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Postby Redhead » Wed Apr 04, 2007 7:56 am

I don't much about the legal side of your situation, but I can maybe make a suggestion regarding your older daughter. She doesn't seem from your post to be completely set against it--- just ambivalent.

Why not present it as a 'let's try this and see how it goes' approach? It's not as if homeschooling precludes you from ever putting your daughter back into the regular school system again; make sure she knows that. I think that realization alone will make her more comfortable taking the plunge---- it's not an irreversible decision she's making. She sounds like she's scared she won't like it and then be stuck forever. Give her a little comfort ground, and I bet she'll come around.

Tell her y'all will try it for a year and then talk about it after that. Just don't make any promises about other schooling options that you really won't be willing to follow through on at the end of that year.
"Education without values, as useful as it is, seems rather to make man a more clever devil." C.S. Lewis

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Postby Sandy » Wed Apr 04, 2007 1:44 pm

I sort of have the same situation, only different:). My 2 1/2 year old gets so excited by seeing the school bus, and she repeats what she hears on tv: "I wish I could go to school", etc. We don't personally know any hser's nearby, so it's hard to get the idea that she won't be riding the bus or going to school into her head. I used to think that I'd let her have the option when she was maybe going into 7th grade or so, but lately I've been realizing that this is an act of obedience, so I don't know. I'm so afraid that she'll continue with this idea that school is wonderful. Hopefully, if she does end up going, she'll think "what a waste of time." Is that awful that this is my hope?

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Postby angw8 » Wed Apr 04, 2007 10:00 pm

To the original post ,I would say -pray for your daughter .God can change her heart on this issue .
Then involve her in the process .Get excited about it and it should rub off.
Read positive things about homeschooling to her and express joy.
Speak about the homeschoolig future with anticipation .
Tell her you can't wait to do it with her .

Attitudes are contagious.Don't you catch hers but let her catch yours.

To the last post -play school with her but put it in the homeschool setting .
At one stage my little girls used to walk to their homeschool .They never left the property but they loved the feeing of going to school.They got dressed in a nominated school dress (in Australia children wear uniforms to school)
and then they gathered some schoolbooks ,put them in a schoolbag and took a walk around the property .When they came back to the door ,they considered themselves at school. They did this for a few months.It made them happy.

Higher than the highest human thought can reach is God's ideal for His children. ...

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Postby momofmy3kids » Thu Apr 05, 2007 11:54 pm

We intended to just hs our youngest who is very shy and comes unglued in crowds. Then her sister wanted to be HS. Two months after our decision, my husband decided we should do all 3 children. This includes a very social, outgoing, 9 year old third grade boy. I've mentioned to him that we're thinking of homeschooling him. His first response was "What about my friends?". After discussing all the friends he does have, the fact that his best friends don't even attend his school and the fact that he can do 1/2 day on Science, he replied: "Let's try it for a year Mom." Sounds great to me.

You should ask her what she thinks homeschooling would look might be very surprised. She could be just reacting to the fact that it's a change in her routine. Take her to a homeschool convention and have her meet other kids her age. Have her help choose the curriculum. Make efforts to maintain the friendships she has made up to this point. If you take an effort to keep your daughter grounded through this transition, in the long run it will be fine!

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Postby milehimom » Mon Apr 09, 2007 9:48 pm

For the mom with a hesitant 10 year old daughter..... I am in the same boat. I am planning to begin HS with my three children, oldest being a 10 year old going into 5th grade. She was at first really excited, but lately is getting sad about it mainly because of friends. This is a natural developmental stage at this age where friends are starting to become more important to them (I used to teach 5th grade).

My approach has been to assure her that Dad and I have prayed extensively about this and am sure this is God's plan for our family next year. I've also assured her that it's OK and quite normal to be sad and hesitant of such a big change. Really, it's almost like telling them we are moving, their school is really their whole world - they are there so much! I think she needs that reassurance that I sympathize that she is sad and validate her feelings and won't get made at her for feeling that way.

One idea we came up with together is that every other month we might try to do a three-week 'club' with each child's closest friends after public school. For my oldest we can do a Horse Lover's Club. We'll get some 'horse' crafts together and for three weeks maybe every Monday three of her friends can get off the bus at our house after school for a one hour 'club' meeting. My 3rd grade son wants to do a Pokemon card trading club when it is his turn and my 2nd grade daughter just wants to have some tea parties! This has gotten all three excited and distracted them a bit from the things about HS they aren't thrilled about!

Good Luck, hope this helps,
Education is not the filling of a pail, but the lighting of a fire.

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Postby Ramona » Wed Apr 11, 2007 1:18 pm

For the 10-y-o: ITA with those who said make it a matter of prayer. When I had to go back on a promise I'd made to my 14-y-o DS, I told him it was because of what I felt in my heart God was telling me to do, and he accepted that even though he was sad for a while.

For the little one: I took my pre-K kids to the home of a friend who was a school-bus driver and she gave them a tour of her bus. I took them to the public elementary school for the open-house day they hold each year for families of entering Kindergarteners. I took them to the public high school to watch a musical. It turned out all they wanted was to see the insides of those things once. They were dying of curiosity. They had no desire whatsoever to spend all day every day doing that!


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Postby Gypsy'sMom » Wed Apr 11, 2007 1:49 pm

I have a 6 year old daughter who is now in Kindergarten. I am seriously thinking about HS her next year. She comes home almost everyday saying that she was bored in school or when she goes to bed she asks me if she could PLEASE stay home the next day. This is quite unlike her, she started out Pre-K and Kind. loving school and all the kids and teachers, however this has since changed. I asked her why one day and her reply was "I'm bored." I set up and meeting with her teacher to figure out the problem and come to find out my DD is at a 2nd grade level. So while most of the other kids sit and learn letters, numbers, and reading...she just sits there because she already has this down. The teacher tries to give her extra things to do but because the school is basically on a "set curriculum" there isn't a whole lot that she can do. There isn't any "advanced" classes that she can do at the school (those don't start until much older) I was told by another teacher that "gifted" children don't get bored, they find something else to do. So I've been thinking that if I HS her, we can work at her own pace and she won't be bored. When I brought this up to my daughter she seemed ok with it. Should I start HSing her next year or just let her be where she is? And if I do HS what are somethings that I can do to make that an easier transition? I would like to have some other parents opinions on this. My thinking is, if she is bored at school she will start being bored with learning all together and I don't want that to happen.

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Re: Help!

Postby Ramona » Wed Apr 11, 2007 1:53 pm

IMHO, you should start HSing her ASAP. It doesn't sound to me like it will be a particularly difficult transition.


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Postby 4given » Wed Apr 11, 2007 9:23 pm

I'd have to agree with Ramona. I once heard an experienced PS parent sharing about children such as your daughter. She said,"There are always a few that begin school and are much more advanced than the other kids. But by third grade everything levels out". She was portraying this as a positive thing :roll:

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