Reluctant Learner! At my wits end! HELP!

Discuss unschooling, eclectic, the unit study approach, or any other "unusual" homeschooling method.

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Missie_M
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Reluctant Learner! At my wits end! HELP!

Postby Missie_M » Wed Jun 24, 2009 7:00 pm


janaleigh
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Postby janaleigh » Wed Jul 01, 2009 11:06 am

Jana marriend to Mike 20 Years
2 Sons, ages 15 and 17
Homeschooling 7+ years
http://www.homeschooljungle.com
http://www.summerhouseliving.com

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elliemaejune
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Postby elliemaejune » Wed Jul 01, 2009 4:37 pm

Married to Mr. Ellie for over 40 years
Mother to 2 dds and 2 dsil
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Naturalnut
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Postby Naturalnut » Tue Jul 21, 2009 1:30 pm

Have you tried just asking her to copy something fun and simple that is already written just to get her into the habit of writing? You can also 'dictate" to her and have her write exactly what you say.

thinks
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Postby thinks » Fri Jul 31, 2009 10:23 pm

Missy_M, have you also considered whether she may be dyslexic? In which case you will need to relax and back off, and find some specific strategies to help her- there's lots of info on the web too. I'm not saying this is what she has, just adding to your pot of ideas to explore. Your post made me feel so much for you, and just MAYBE you have hold of the wrong end of the stick (metaphorically speaking) and are drubbing both yourself and your daughter needlessly..?

Another suggestion: let her type stuff on the computer... even playing online spelling and maths and logic games will get her reading and starting to write.. :)

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Jean E
Cheers
Jean Edwards in New Zealand
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blog: http://www.onthinking.co.nz

jules88
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Postby jules88 » Fri Sep 04, 2009 9:43 pm

I just came on here to post about my son. Who sounds alot like this. He is also 8. I do a mixture of unshcooling, learning by games, field trips and subjects of iterest. He just to me seems to not to want to do the work. For example to finish off this week, we just went to the fair yesterday and so I thought this would be an easy one for him. They ( I hs his twin and younger sis too) were to write something about the fair and then illustrate what they wrote about. I even wrote a list of questions that might spur his thoughts. It was very poor writing (and I don't mean penmanship) at best. None of my kids will stay focused. Even if we are all at the table doing work, they are always poking at each other staring off into space daydreaming etc. They can spend all day on 3 math problems, because in my opinion lack of concentration. Even if they go to another room all by themselves and the door shut they still get nothing done, they will doodle etc anything to not do the work, even if this means that in the end they don't get to play with the neighborhood kids when they get home from school. Other times they zip through the homework with very little to no problem. If this continues my husband is going to want to send them to public school. He thinks that they will show the teacher more respect than me and in doing so, do their homework.
If they just did their homework like they should, then they would be done and out the door in no time! I just don't know what to do! Does anyone have any suggestions?

thinks
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Postby thinks » Fri Sep 04, 2009 10:02 pm

Cheers

Jean Edwards in New Zealand

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blog: http://www.onthinking.co.nz

Lily
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Postby Lily » Sat Sep 05, 2009 6:51 am

It sounds like she might just need to slow down a bit. Some kids don't pick up writing as quickly as others - mine being one of them. The reading sounds on target, though. Kids tend to go through phases or steps: sounding things out, guessing at the word, near fluency where the mind "jumps" and doesn't read but expects the following words, and finally fluency where it all comes together in a workable manner; the knowledge base is there to allow for subtle jumps without it being a big deal. At 8 she sounds right where she should be. We helped the kid get over that third step by reading together below his level and using a paper guide to isolate lines of text. You can buy plastic ones premade, but a cardboard bookmark with a long hole cut out does the same trick.

For writing we're using Writing Tales this year. Check it out - the first book is for 3-4th grade. It's very simply laid out where the child starts with basic activities like learn what a sentence is, circle the capital letters and ending punctuation, check to make sure these are sentences, including hands on and full body work..and every other week there's one writing assignment that gets progressively more difficult from retelling the story they're reading to writing their own. We tried other programs and this is what is working because its so intense on what needs to happen with just basic skills.


You may want to look up learning styles, too. It could be that she's a kinetic learner and NEEDS to move or do the activity in order to grasp the concept or understand the lesson. There's a variety of curriculum that semi-meet this need, but you'd also need to create or adapt a lot of your own work, too. I will say that an mp3 player is one of the best investments we've made. I've filled ours with classical music and audio books to maximize concentration when its needed for different tasks, like filling in a form or drawing. The lack of outside noises helps him focus better.
"The greatest sign of success for a teacher... is to be able to say, "The children are now working as if I did not exist."
- M. Montessori
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MelissaM
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Postby MelissaM » Sun Nov 08, 2009 6:19 am

I'd really like to find out how this one is going? Anyone know??
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ThatGirlWithGlasses
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Postby ThatGirlWithGlasses » Thu Aug 18, 2011 9:01 pm

Hello. I was once I very reluctant reader and writer. I don't know what to say to help you. All I know is that my mom stuck with it and forced me to do dictation and to read even when I was throwing a tantrum. It must have worked because today I read more then three books a week ( unless they happen to be really thick) and my favorite hobby is writing.
My mom used to read aloud to me and just as we got to the "Good Part" she would hand the book to me and say " You read for a bit I am getting tired." Or she would just lay the book down and tell me that I was going to have to finish the rest of the story myself. Pretty soon I was ( and still am) reading anything I could get my hands on.

To most of the people who wrote on here.
Your kids sound just like me. I think my mom would be relieved to know I wasn't the only child like this. I never could spell sight words like "Would, Should, What, When, That,This" (ect) properly. I hated neing forced to do anything. I drew endlessly when I was supposed to be doing school. And I am still awful at anykind of math.
One thing I thought might help: Sometimes when my mom would read aloud to me, or try to explain things to me I would kind of blank out. I wasn't trying to be dence ,most of the time I was thinking. Mom would say something and instead of following her line of thought I would rail road onto my own thought track. She would be explaining the Civil War and I was thinking how bad it must hace been for the slaves. She would try to explain the orbit of the earth and my brain started mulling over life on other planets. I still do that ( a LOT) but now I know how to focas when it matters and when to let my mind wander.

I am sorry if I sound like a know it all teen trying to be a smart mouth. But I thought words from some one who was like that as a kid and could relate to the kids might be helpful.

justaskkarend
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Postby justaskkarend » Fri Aug 26, 2011 11:51 am

My DD was/is a reluctant learner; however, when she was 10 and went for a sports physical, we learned that she needed eyeglasses. It helped us see what was just plain stubbornness and what was actual disability.
KarenD
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Momma24
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Reluctant Reader

Postby Momma24 » Mon Dec 05, 2011 2:55 pm

Homeschooling four
with the help of Mom SCHOOL
and staying healthy with Mom FITNESS!

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Blessings4all
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Postby Blessings4all » Tue Dec 13, 2011 5:38 pm

It sounds like your daughter is a visual learner and perhaps kinesthetic (physical). I would use a lot of imagery when teaching her. Believe it or not, the brain works best in pictures anyway. If she doesn't remember things well, tie them to an image. Take her struggles with b and d. I would have her make a large b on a paper and make it into something which starts with a b like boy. Maybe the b is the head of the boy and he has a hat on. Something like that. Do the same with the other letters she confuses. Let her have fun some day making letters into works of art, decorating them in anyway she can think of. Letters are works of art with calligraphy after all. :wink:
Another way to use imagery with her is to let her draw a picture of a concept that you are teaching her. If she is learning about the molecules in solids, liquids, and gases, she can draw the molecules for each state. If she is learning about the ancient Romans, let her have a history journal where she draws pictures and labels them.
I mention the use of imagery in some of the articles on my homeschool website.
You might want to get her checked for ADD, but I wouldn't put her on medication for it. I think that in most cases ADD/ADHD can be handled with diet, frequent breaks, and other modifications.
Hope this helps you.
Many blessings,
Susan

www.HomeschoolWithLove.com - Homeschooling made easy for you & fun for the kids.

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Don't Force!

Postby southernlover » Mon Jul 09, 2012 12:56 am


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