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Postby sandichelle » Tue Jun 03, 2008 12:23 pm

I feel as if 5 years is piling up one after the other of failing my daughter at the adequacy she deserves in education, yet we both work hard at school and I am not willing to give up. Here are some of my problems, maybe somebody could help:

1. She is dependent on me for directions and seems to have short term memory loss. For instance, I can teach her a concept, she can understand it at that time, but it's like starting over every single time we go to a new one she's forgotten the previous. Now, if I remind her and go over it again, it clicks, thus...she is too dependent on me for instructions and directions. Is this a curriculum problem? They aren't clear enough for her? If I tested and quizzed her as regularly as public schools do, she'd fail every one of them, yet she's great at her daily work.

2. She manipulates me with emotions (crying at the drop of a hat, acting angry and crossing her arms, etc). I've read many of all of your concepts on discipline...but it is my intention to keep the "vibe" during education time---inspiring to learn, so I try not to "punish" in education, I'd rather find different approaches----to ignore the emotions and find another approach---giving her emotions no energy, yet not giving up on the goals we're trying to meet. Any help?

3. She is "behind" in math and language---due to a family crisis this and last year----combined with the above mentioned problems----any help catching up?

It is my firm belief that my job as parent is to provide the skills necessary to send my children into the world with the tools they'll need to pursue any endeavor they set out on---to the best of my ability. I fail daily, yet this is my core reminder---this is why I homeschool, because homeschooling teaches children to teach themselves as well as gives them opportunities to begin pursuing experience -by-doing at a much earlier age than public schools allow. If you can help me stick to it, by giving me some ideas to resolve some of my dilemmas, that would help me tremendously!

gardening momma
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Postby gardening momma » Tue Jun 03, 2008 2:18 pm

How old is she? What grade-level of work is she on? Do I understand correctly that you've been homeschooling for 5 years? How long during each day do you do sit-down work? What other type of educational stuff do you do? What kind of materials/curriculum do you use? Any particular homeschooling philosophy or method that you use?

If you can give more info, we can give you better help.

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Postby Minniewannabe » Tue Jun 03, 2008 4:27 pm

I agree that we need a little more information to help with the schooling part.

In regards to discipline, someone gave me the book The Strong Willed Child by Dr. James Dobson some 25+ years ago. It worked well then and it still works now.

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Postby Lily » Wed Jun 04, 2008 8:04 am

I really think you'd benefit from the books Kids Are Worth It! by Barbara Coloroso and Punished By Rewards by Alfie Kohn. Both are great and do not use the traditional aspect of punitive discipline to teach, or discipline a child. We've been using the theory that everyone is in charge of him/herself and deserves respect just for being for several years now and I love the way our family responds to each other.

As far as the curriculum, it could be that it's not a good fit for your dd's learning style. What does she like to do on her off time? Using the activities she chooses as a basis for the way you teach can help you get further. If all else, Maria Montessori believed that for a child to learn, as many senses as possible, or the whole child, needed to be involved. That is why so many montessori materials are hands on, color coded, scented, textured, etc. Even flash cards are done in three parts - the picture and the word/definition seperately, and then a control card of the two together for the child to check his or her work. A lot of independent, self correcting activities make up the school curriculum.
And to go even further, the premise behind my son's math curriculum, Math U See, says that for a child to learn, he must see it, hear it, do it, and TEACH it. Giving the information back and guiding someone else through the steps helps it stick in our own heads.

You'll get through this. (((hugs)))
"The greatest sign of success for a teacher... is to be able to say, "The children are now working as if I did not exist."
- M. Montessori
Proud non-member of the HSLDA

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More Information----

Postby sandichelle » Wed Jun 04, 2008 11:48 am

Yes, My daughter is in the 4th grade this year (wrapping things up in the coming July, as I mentioned, we're behind), she is working on 4th grade work, we started In at age 5 and she is now 10 almost 11. We have used Christian curriculum in the past, but---we tried a virtual academy using k12 last year which was a horrible experience (educationally speaking)---and this year we have been using the curriculum from k12 without the virtual school and teachers, which is a little nicer but at times the directions/instructions confuse even me.

~~Thank you Lily, I've been looking into Montessori but not heard of homeschool for their methods. I'd like to find our fit once and for all so that she can have some consistency and familiarity in her education.

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Postby momo3boys » Thu Jun 05, 2008 8:37 pm

My 10 ds has what is called a working memory disorder, it sounds a lot like what you were describing in your dd. When I teach adding, he forgets subtracting, when I teach division he has already forgotten multiplying. What I have found works the best is teaching to his learning style really heavily and not teaching in any sort of order, even though it seems strange.

His learning style is very hands on so we do a lot of math that is life applicable. He is great at graphs and measuring for instance. We are learning to memorize all the multiplication tables, we do this by using post it notes and he has to memorize three a day, (sometimes it takes more than one day) These are not in any order, because he would get them all messed up in his head if we did it in order.

You might want to look into it more and see what else you can find out about it. Just don't stress out about it. Find out what her interests are and delve into them, don't expect her to remember everything if her mind can't file it all, it will only make you and her frustrated.
Phi 4:13 I can do all things through Christ which strengtheneth me.

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Postby StellarStory » Wed Jun 18, 2008 1:55 pm

It could also be a maturity level thing. My son couldn't remember things either. I was so frustrated but then one day he could! So you just never know.

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Postby fallenstar » Fri Jun 20, 2008 1:54 pm

My sister was like that. What helped was being able to see the whole process, learning the why as well as the how, and speaking it out loud. It really helped her a lot.

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