Ideas to convince husband to agree to home schooling?

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Ideas to convince husband to agree to home schooling?

Postby mtptl » Wed Jun 30, 2010 3:12 am

(Moderator: This account is a spam bot, but the replies are useful, so the thread stays)

I really want to home school my daughter, but my husband isn't convinced it will be the right thing for her. She's only 23 months, and structured school isn't compulsory for several years, but rather than fight and nag about it when she's older I'd like to SHOW him that learning at home has been working all along, and would continue to be a great choice.

His big concerns are that she won't be socialized properly and that she won't learn as much as she would with a traditional education.

My biggest reasons for wanting to home school is that I think she would benefit greatly from a very hands on, one on one education. I also like the idea of educational partners that reinforce the values of our home. I want to expose her to a variety of things, but also want concise lines on what we believe is acceptable. We agree she could have the same experience in a faith based traditional school, but we're also both aware we probably couldn't afford one, especially with me not working, which we both consider important. I also feel it's much safer than the public schools in our area.

I am a very active stay at home mom. We belong to several enrichment groups, and she has social interactions with other children at least 4 times a week.

Our current social activities:
Weekly, we have a "swimming tots" group at the local pool, library story time, and traditional playgroup, doing things like going to the park, playing at people's homes, or sometimes special outings like trips to a farm, museum, or the zoo. She also gets to play with children at my lactation support group. Twice a month she is involved in an Italian immersion group, and least once a month I take her to a nursing home to visit the elderly. We're also considering toddler gymnastics when she turns two. (Some of these double as educational, but she always gets socialization at these.)

Additionally, I frequently take her to the zoo, pool, library, park, and age appropriate museums. She can count to 10, spell her name (it's a short name, but still...) and can identify about half the letters of the alphabet. She knows basic shapes, all primary and secondary, and most tertiary colors, and has just started learning to play the piano. In addition to a pretty good grasp on English (for her age) she knows about 150 signs, and is learning Italian. She has only been in the care of someone other than my husband and I three times--all evening date nights--since she's been born, and has learned all of these things either from us, or at the activities I take her to. She is very social and independent.

I think my husband thinks homeschooling means sitting at our table with just me and a text book for 8 hours a day. If I were to home school, we would continue to pursue her interests, join activities, and teach compassion by doing volunteer work. We'd also join our local home school co-op, for both the social benefits, and to have multiple teachers, but maintain the home school environment. I am fully prepared to learn any new things I need to learn to properly teach her, or find someone better equipped than me if I can't.

Anyway, that's where we're at right now. We aren't going to use preschool, and if have day Kindergarten goes away, that's completely out too, so we have until first grade to decide, but I want to keep going so he'll see everything she's learned from her home education so far. Anyone else have to convince a spouse homeschooling was the best option for your child? What did you do? Is there anything else I should be doing right now as far as working with her? Any other advice, period? Thanks a ton!

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Postby doodlebird » Wed Jun 30, 2010 9:40 am

First of all, you've got time on your side. A lot can happen and change in a short period of time.

1) pray about it and ask him to do the same. Ask him to keep an open mind until you both can learn more about the realities.

2) Try to meet some homeschoolers - go straight to the people who are living it. I know our support group has an "introduction to homeschooling meeting" that everyone is able to attend - even if they don't have school-age children. Check with your state homeschool support group (I think most states have them) and they can steer you toward some support groups in your area.

3) Attend a convention or two. If he is willing to check it out, a convention in your state would have a variety of speakers (often the socialization issue is addressed) And, if you can't attend, you can often order CD's of the sessions. Also, there is often a vendors hall with a multitude of publishers, book distributors, software programs, local camps and field trip possibilities, etc.

The bottom line is, however, that dad NEEDS to be on board. The kids will know if he's not and then you turn out to be the "bad guy," keeping them away from the "fun, fun, fun" (at its perceived) at school. My husband was OK with homeschooling up through junior high, but he never had the vision for it like I did. Therefore, my oldest is now in a public charter high school, which is not what I would have chosen. But, knowing that dad (and other vocal family members) thought he should go to high school, my son became very difficult in our last couple years at home
:cry: A dad's influence is incredible.

On a positive note, I went from being anti-homeschooling when my son was about 3 to being gung-ho homeschooling when he was 4. Lots can change in a short time!

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Postby dkocur » Wed Jun 30, 2010 4:21 pm

The thing that really sold me on homeschooling was going to a convention. Not because of what the speakers said, but because of what I observed. I had never seen any group of people (not even in church) where the children were so polite and well behaved, especially the teenagers. And no, they weren't shy, bashful, introverted, or anything like the stereotypical image portrayed by the media. Quite the opposite, actually. All I could think was, "Wow! These people are doing something right!"

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Re: Ideas to convince husband to agree to home schooling?

Postby jcollins » Wed Jun 30, 2010 5:23 pm

"His big concerns are that she won't be socialized properly and that she won't learn as much as she would with a traditional education."

Here is a study that blows his latter argument out of the water:

The summary:

The study itself: ... yFINAL.pdf

As for "she won't be socialized properly":

Also convincing evidence is the book(online for free) Underground History of American Education by John Taylor Gatto.

Also check out the John Stossel special "Stupid in America".

The book and special are not so much prohomeschooling as they are why you just **cannot** rollover and send your child to a government school. They are hard hitting. Show these to your husband(after you view them first of course. You know your husband far better than we do.)

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Postby doodlebird » Fri Jul 02, 2010 10:20 am

I have been reading "The Underground History of American Education" by Gatto (and I've read other of his works before). It is an excellent source of information and has definitely re-sparked my enthusiasm for homeschooling from a whole different perspective. I am very motivated to take a different approach than the standard textbook because of it.

It is not a light read, however. And many of the points (historically documented and supported) can be difficult for some to accept (if they're really attached to the public school idea).

But, based on my readings and on common criticisms of homeschoolers, I was inspired to write some articles that I recently published online. They might be a good introduction to some education and social realities before going "full Gatto."

:arrow: ... ce-Fiction

The other article I already linked in this fourm in a post called "The Truth About Homeschoolers..."

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Postby StephenB » Sat Aug 07, 2010 6:15 pm

This thread brought up some memories of talks with my wife about home schooling. She was very much against it, mainly because of the added time and pressure it would have put on her.

I was all for home schooling, but working full time in my own business made it hard for either of us to commit to doing this.

But our 3 kids have turned out great, all going to public schools. Our kids are model students, get top grades, are very active in sports and hold down jobs as well. We are strict, but not in a "religious" way. We demand responsibility from them, and follow up with teaching to always do what is right.

I have a friend whose 7 kids are all home schooled and they are awesome. I personally think it is the home structure and the expectations that we put on our children that will help them develop into responsible adults - whether they are home schooled or go to public schools.

By the way my kids are 12, 17 and 20.
Stephen B
Little League Dad
Kettlebell Exercises

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A dad's point of view

Postby narrow4life » Tue Aug 31, 2010 10:40 am

I'm a dad, so hopefully I can "speak" to your husband.

I also want my kids to be well educated and socially adept. My higher priority is raising my kids in the admonition and knowledge of God.

So, let's look at these 3 things and consider...who can train them best for that?

Can a public (or private/Christian) school raise my kids in the Lord better than me?....perhaps, but this should not be. If so, then I need to change. Hopefully this one does not need much discussion for this point. The counter point is, they can be raised in the Lord in the evenings and weekends, I'm not sending them to school for that. The problem is they are at school for a long time, with lots of influences that will contradict what the Bible says.

A school does not "teach" social skills. It has a different environment which leaves your kids to follow others and learn from others in how they act in situations. They may become more comfortable in crowds because they go to school, but that does not mean better social skills. The best teacher for social skills is the dad. The big problem is many dads are not involved enough in their kids lives. If kids are spending time with dad and doing things with him they will learn from him. So, dads, how are your social skills when driving around town, at the grocery store, on the they learn from you good things? If dad is around, he can coach the kids on how to interact and behave in social settings as well, not just learn by his example.

Dads should be the best at teaching kids. Again, spending time with them in things like building with legos, making a sword out of cardboard or wood, making a bird house, working in the yard, playing board many things. When driving around, are you on the phone or just listening to the radio, or are you talking to your kids, asking them questions and playing thinking games with them? Talk to them at the dinner table about what they learned in school, and ask them questions that do not have yes/no answers (also good for social skills :)

I do not minimize the moms at all with this! My children are much further along because of my wife's teaching them. Your role is equally important and much more demanding, I know! It's just a dad's role is vital and we often neglect it, leaving it to the moms, the schools, the sunday school teachers. SHAME ON US!

I also do not mean to make a comprehensive list of things to do or to cover every situation. I just mean that if a dad says that education and social skills are important to him for their kids, than WHAT IS HE DOING ABOUT IT? (and sending them off to school is NOT doing something about it).

I find: very helpful.

Dad's...please stop the video games, the newspapers, the internet, the golf, the baseball, the long hours at work....get intentional at raising kids!!

Also, I don't mean to sound like your husband is terrible or not doing good things. I'm elaborating on different points to speak to his statement, but not intending that he is missing all the other stuff.

I also speak to myself while writing. So easy to loose focus. It is a good "correction" for me as well. REALLY GOOD!!
We use My Father's World Homeschool Curriculum for our 2 kid's homeschool education.

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Postby Kerrick » Thu Dec 02, 2010 3:41 pm

There's only Positives to homeschooling. (for the child anyway)
The plus is that you can teach your child what they SHOULD know and what is the truth. Public school books teach a lot of excellent, essential knowledge, but the history sections are usually filled with nonsense. Columbus for instance is ridiculous. Just watch NAT GEO a little bit and you will find out that his title should change from Discoverer of America to Hack. If you wanted to get that kid a pass on this kind of misinformation and teach what really took place and how long ago cultures were roaming the world before Columbus, SAY "YAY" for homeschooling. On the other hand, it's a common concern that the home schooled child will miss out on being socialized in public school. Bologna. Every day people socialize to the max whether they want to or not. Take your kid with you when you go to church or functions or whatever you have going on. Let them play in the neighborhood with other kids (like you could stop them) or join up with the pop warner football/cheerleading team, and I guarantee you they will not be anti-social hermits like everyone fears. So they miss out on being made fun of for their last name or glasses and they don't get to make a fool out of themselves asking Katie to the sadie hawkins dance. It will be for the best if you know what the heck you're doing.

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Postby 1to1tutor » Wed Sep 12, 2012 9:48 am

Try a drip feed approach! Think of it as brainwashing him! Tell him you are doing serious research into homeschooling and keep reading him 'interesting snippets' from homeschool books, have videos playing aloud when he is around. Play pod casts or audio books about homeschooling so he can hear. (If you have a kindle or Ipad then they both have a way of 'reading aloud' any book on them. There are probably ways to get websites read aloud on the PC too). Don't try to convince him yourself - just keep letting him subconsciously hear lots of good stuff about homeschooling.

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Postby mindy8 » Thu Dec 27, 2012 1:28 pm

Here is a link for an article about convincing parents to homeschool - it might give you some ideas. ... school-me/
But you do have a lot of time before you would need to officially homeschool and a lot can happen in that time. So just teach your child the best you can and see what happens! Good luck.

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