Questioning my motives
I am new here and trying to comb through all the information here on HS and whether to do it or not.
History: My DS that is currently in 6th grade and frankly is not doing well socially and academically. He was diagnosed with ADD in the 4th grade and has had issues ever since (although he did not know about the diagnosis until a couple of months ago). He is small for his age, socially is immature, and he feels picked-on (bullied are the words he uses). One of his down-falls is that he always makes excuses for himself and sometimes that makes him hard to deal with. He is not medicated and has not been medicated for the past year. With that, he went from a B student to a C and D student. (Mostly because he didn't turn assignments in on time and making careless mistakes). If I had to describe my child in one word, it would be frustrated.
I guess I question whether I should HS him and let him work at his own pace and have less distractions/pressure. I am not convinced that will help him. ADD kids need more structure. But he is unhappy at school, and we are unhappy with his performance. My husband thinks (don't laugh), that DS should have to deal with the "hard knocks" so he can learn to deal with them in life. No... my husband is not evil. He was a little kid too and had to fight to make his way in life. We even discussed holding my son back a year but no teacher advocates that. (His low grades are b/c he doesn't turn things in on time... or sometimes at all. When DS was tested for ADD, they did a IQ test which he tested in the 130s)
What do I do?! HS is such a daunting task and I work part-time. I have been thinking about this for weeks and I keep changing my opinion. It could work and if it did, DS would not want to go back to school. But my DH is not "on board" and I see his point too.
All the professionals just want us to medicate DS and that just doesn't work. His grades go up but he get very irritable and depressed.
Any insight that can help me make a good decision?
Am I being over-protective?