how to not get annoyed at grandma (for different opinions)

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how to not get annoyed at grandma (for different opinions)

Postby Krissy_beltonMOmom » Thu Sep 03, 2009 7:42 am

It's my MIL. I know I should just shrug it off, but we HS my eldest for 6 months at the start of KG. After that, we settled down in a "good" school district and thought we'd put her in PS.

Well, now we think that we made a mistake, and should have kept teaching her ourselves. (another story, of course)

Well, back when we HS her before... MIL felt it was her place to inform me that my child was not the bubbly, happy child that she was before we HS her. She presented it to us as "I'm concerned,"and really laid into me.

I'm going to have a really hard time not getting ticky about any comments this time. I'm going to have a hard time not telling her something horrid in response. (She was not the best mom to my hubby, and her daughter is back home again, major debt, and we think going further astray.)

But.... I've always had a hard time dealing with criticism and responding to attack in a negative way. See, I'm the kind of person, that if I care about you, then I care about your opinions.... that's not always the best way to operate. It makes it harder to stick to your guns.

Just venting, cuz if she insinuates that I'm abusing my child or hurting her again... I'm gonna have a hard time being the good woman that I know God wants me to be.

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Postby everydaylou » Thu Feb 11, 2010 11:15 pm

Well, in this case, I think I would simply not tell her!

It really isn't any of her business, so I'd do my own thing for a few months, wait until she compliments DD, and THEN say, "yes, we've really noticed her thriving in this area since we brought her back home!"

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Postby seekingmyLord » Fri Feb 12, 2010 11:00 am

It never works to attack someone else for their own shortcomings. It is a defensive tactic and let's her know that she can get to you. I think we all tend to lash back when we do not have a prepared statement, so have one prepared:

"I am thankful that you love your grandchild so much to be so concerned, but that as her parents both my husband and I are in agreement that we will homeschool her at this time. I welcome your questions and your support."

If she is obviously against it and keeps bringing it up, change the subject until she gets the message that the subject is off limits, or take a more direct approach and say that you will not discuss the subject of homeschooling with her...and then don't discuss it!

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Postby comusher » Tue Mar 09, 2010 3:10 pm

As long as you and your husband are on the same page on the subject there is nothing to worry about. I know it can be annoying and hard to take when someone (especially grandma) tells you what you are doing wrong, but let her know it is your decision to make. Let her know to support you or take her negative attitude away from the family.

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