Help!!! Need advice

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Joined: Sat Jul 14, 2007 12:42 pm

Help!!! Need advice

Postby sheila » Sat Jul 14, 2007 12:54 pm

:? Hi there, new here....but need some advice QUICK, i say quick, because I am sick of being doubleminded!!! Okay, I have homeschooled a 12,10,7and 6 year old from start.... my oldest daughter and I have a personality conflict, she does not respond well to my teaching her, she really struggles accedemically, very forgetful, not diligent, not a self starter, hates reading, can't follow our daily schedule which is written down for her... she is ADD, havent seen any great help on her meds in years. It really stinks. She requires me to sit by her more than my 7 year old does. I HATE THIS. I have been praying and seeking counsel for the decision of sending her to christian school. Counselor feels we would be better off in our relationship if we werent in each others face all day.(he is a christian also) There are so many things about her I could share,I am not trying to complain about her really, i am just stressed and feeling like I cant and do not want to do this anymore. School claims they can teach her a different way and give her the resources for extra help. What should I do??? And, I am to the point of feeling selfish of wanting some time to myself in my life to cope with the outside world, I do not even have time to see family (mom) during school year sessions. HELP HELP, What should I do? I know schools arent perfect, but would she be better off with another teacher???And then I wonder, should I send them all?
Please lots of responses would help.

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Postby Redhead » Sat Jul 14, 2007 1:08 pm

No one here is really going to be able to tell you what to do because, the truth is, none of us is dealing with your daughter or the rest of your children.

Homeschooling may not be the best thing for your oldest DD right now. Putting her in a school won't be a reflection on you, her, or homeschooling in general. It's simply a reflection of your willingness to look at every avenue that's available and choosing the best one for your daughter and your family as a whole.

Putting your DD in school need not be a permanent situation, and there are a variety of private schools out there. There is one in our area that combines private and homeschooling. It basically works just like college--- you can go full time or part time; you choose your course schedule (and just like college, it's T/TH and M/W/F class set-ups).

You could also stay with homeschooling, but search for a homeschool co-op where she could take some other classes from different people. Find programs in your area that cater to homeschool kids and see about getting her into those. You'd still be homeschooling, but there would be some break times for the two of you.

Ultimately, only you know where you and your daughter are in this situation. If you believe the two of you could use a break from one another, look into all the options that would allow that and still allow homeschooling first. If you can't find any that will fit your budget/schedule/etc., then consider schools in your area. Again, remember, nothing has to be permanent. Y'all could just as easily find that school is an even worse fit for your family than what you're doing now (of course, it could also be the best one).
"Education without values, as useful as it is, seems rather to make man a more clever devil." C.S. Lewis

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Postby zozomom » Sat Jul 14, 2007 7:43 pm

You could have been talking about me and my 12 yr old daughter!We homeschooled for grades 2,3,and 4. I had to sit with her constantly,we discovered she had learning disabilities and needed vision and occupational therapy, and frankly, our relationship was beginning to really suffer. We put her back in school for 5th and 6tth and will homeschool part time for 7th. Her teachers have expressed that she is very kind and considerate to them and has brightened their days on several occassions with her thoughtful words or notes. Our district superintendant was very accomodating to our plans. I say, if you are that stressed as I had been, it can be very damaging and you need a break. I had a lot of guilt over this for a while but feel it was what we needed to do. We will see how this year goes but we are looking forward to our part day hs and have already gotten our supplies. You will be in my prayers.

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Postby StellarStory » Fri Jul 20, 2007 7:10 pm

My son has been like this some years. When it happened I did a few things.

I had him work with his sister on some things. I had him work with an online tutor that was free through our school system. Whether he is teaching, working with cooperatively co=learning, or being taught, it will actually benefit a child very much to work with another child.

I also built in more "fun" and "breaks." I eased up on the expectations of us both at times. We did more field trip type things at times. Sometimes we'd do rote work while he was jump roping or biking.

I continued to show him how to do things on his own, stressing that I expected him to retain, work on and increase his skills in this area each year.

Maturing has helped in a LOT in this area.

Only you can decide what you will be most comfortable with doing.

I'm sure you'll figure it out.

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