How easy is it to get back into Public School after HS?

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Postby WAHMBrenda » Wed Feb 07, 2007 12:04 pm

Let me start off by saying that I think you're doing the right thing for your son. He sounds like he'll really thrive at home. As far as keeping up with the public school students, I wouldn't worry about that too much because it sounds like he'll probably go above and beyond what they're doing. However, if you're still concerned you can always search for "scope and sequence" online to see what should be covered each year/grade. Good luck!
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Postby Calla_Dragon » Wed Feb 07, 2007 1:25 pm

Homeschooling has nothing to do with the majority of those things.

Lack social skills appropriate to everyday interaction.

All the homeschooled kids I've seen are better prepared socially than their public schooled peers. I've seen my 6 year old a class of 8 year olds and he's the only one not chasing other kids around the room, throwing chairs around, calling names and saying innappropriate items.

Do not develop strong personalities.

My son has had a strong personality from the day he was born. I can't affect that one way or the other and homeschooling has had no effect on that.

Don't know how to dance.

Ok, first off, what does that have to do with homeschooling in any way, shape or form? Speaking as a dancer of 20 years (instructor and performer), most people can't dance well. It doesn't matter whether they're homeschooled, public schooled, adult, whatever. You're scraping the bottom of the barrel for excuses on that one.

Have never been to a rock concert.

Again, what's that got to do with the price of tea in China? I've been to one in my 13 years of schooling - it's not my thing. My best friend who was schooled her whole life as well was forbidden to go to rock concerts by her fundamentalist parents. Scrape, scrape, scrape....

Center their lives on family life to an abnormal degree.
Define "abnormal". Your abnormal may be much different than someone else's abnormal, but in the end it's their life. I'd rather err on the side of "too much" family time (if that's even possible) than not enough. The importance of family isn't emphasized enough in our culture and certainly not as much as in other cultures. Our family structure is more or less kaput. A little more focus on the family unit would do this country some good.

Have never been on a date.

Again, I gotta ask - what's that got to do with homeschooling? Any idea how many guys I know who are in their 20s and never had a girlfriend or been on a date? All of them were public school. A boyfriend I had in 11th grade had never before had a girlfriend or been on a date and I met him at my church. All of my dates and boyfriends were boys from my church, not school. A homeschool child has just as much access to a church environment than I did as a public school student.

Do not possess even a periphery knowledge of popular culture, and as a result form outrageous judgments on various aspects of it.
Hey you know what? That's a good thing. I don't possess knowledge of popular culture either. I purposefully don't read what Brangelia's doing this week or what rapper got arrested last week cuz I don't care. I've never cared what the celebs are up to - I've never worn the latest fashions, been up on the latest music - it's called having your own style and tastes and you can't develop that with "popular culture" being rammed down your throat at ever passing second.

Develop philosophical, political and religious beliefs which mirror those of their parents.
I can't address this on a personal level because my oldest is 6, but this happens regardless of schooling. Parents instill their beliefs in their kids almost by default. Rare is the child who develops their own beliefs about things at an early age. Most people I know developed a mirror set of their parent's beliefs and then formed their own later.

Are insecure around strangers
That's a personality trait called shyness. Not all homeschoolers are shy. My son is one of them. He'll walk up to anyone on the street and say hi or ask them a question. However, as I referenced, he's got a very strong personality and he's quite sure of himself.

Can't speak in public effectively.
This has to do with homeschooling how? How many of us as adults break out in cold sweat when they realize they have to get up in front of people and make a presentation? *raises hand* And how many of us went to public school? *raises hand*

Hold an irrational distrust of the public school system.
Irrational infers that there's no reason to distrust and yet the distrust is still there. There are a lot of good reasons to distrust the public school system. There are also a lot of good reasons to distrust the government. There's a lot of good reasons to distrust just about anything in your life which is why a healthy scrutiny is critical. That only develops when one is provided with all the information on the subject and is allowed to make their own decision. That is not what goes on in the public school system. Their curriculum is slanted from the get go and doesn't provide a full spectrum of information. If anything, homsechoolers are better prepared to make decisions since they have access to a world of information and aren't subject to the inane regulations that tells what the schools can and can't teach or tell students.

I can see that you're quite bitter about your homeschool experience and that's tragic, really. However, there are homeschoolers are there who are quite happy with their current status. I wonder why you hang out on homeschooling boards. Why not look forward with hope instead of back with negativity? If your experience was that terrible, do you really think you're going to convince a bunch of homeschoolers to all of a sudden not homeschool? Please tell me you have other things to do with your day than to come here and spew bitterness and anger and critique the spelling and grammer of other poster's posts. If not, I recommending finding something....quickly.
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returning to school

Postby rafismom » Wed Feb 07, 2007 6:06 pm

My kids had no trouble transitioning to school after years of homeschool. If anything, they were at the top of their respective classes and became leaders.

Of course, I chose to start them in a small non-public school, and only then did they move on to public school. One went on to a large public HS in the IB curriculum and the other three went to a small public alternative "open" program. Of the 3 who have graduated from HS, two went to the University of Minnesota, a large public University, and one obtained AS degrees in video and film production, then finished an undergraduate degree in Education and is now in a Masters program for Individualised Instruction. The fourth one will be attending University of Minnesota next year.

Jane in Minnesota

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Postby Against Homeschooling » Tue Feb 20, 2007 6:31 pm

I don't recall endorsing popular culture, guys. What I said is that many homeschoolers are frighteningly ignorant of it. And really, "popular culture" is a somewhat ambiguous phrase itself. I must admit that I've found parts of it that I really love. Mark says that his kids are into jazz music. Great! I personally love celtic music. I also love techno, ska, ragtime, and punk rock. Every one of these genres is part of popular culture - that is, the greater culture that we live in. What is scary is when there are homeschooled kids who have gotten so little exposure to it that they don't know Bartok from Brahms from the Beach Boys.

Rafismom: I don't believe that I know any diagnosed autistic homeschoolers, and if I did I obviously wouldn't blame their condition on the fact that they were homeschooled. Since you're wondering, my parents aren't fundamentalists.

You guys have peaked my curiosity regarding this dating issue. I don't mean to open up a dangerous can of worms here, but from my personal experience, being homeschooled is not conducive to the degree of emotional independence necessary to facilitate a romantic relationship. So, to parents of high school age homeschoolers: have your children dated? If not, is this because you hold religious or cultural convictions that such activities are innapropriate? I think that perhaps some of our disagreements here might stem from such differing social beliefs, so I would love to hear about your experiences in this part of parenting.

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Postby momofmy3kids » Sat Mar 17, 2007 1:42 am

homeschooled is not conducive to the degree of emotional independence necessary to facilitate a romantic relationship.

I'm also LOL in ways...LIFE isn't always conducive to a romantic relationship.

My experience with high school students is that they THINK they are ready for a romantic relationship. The truth of the matter is the vast majority are NOT ready. How many 15 & 16 year olds know themselves enough to be in a truly romantic, equal, emotionally independent relationship? Check the statistics: this is a very weak argument you are making.

AHS you are impressive with your debate skills...but very close-minded.

PS - go ahead and insult me on my English skills. They suck - I know. I HATED English class.

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Postby Martha » Sat Mar 17, 2007 9:30 am

I just wanted to add that I was PS from start to finish...I don't know much about Popular Culture...I didn't date much (and when I did it was when I was 16 (dating age according to my parents) and then I found the love of my life (my husband) and have been married since 3 months after we graduated)...I have NEVER been to a rock concert...(I went to one that was several groups in one...but it wasn't a concert per say)...then after I was MARRIED I went to a Beach Boys concert. I have the same ideals as my parents when it comes to said's only natural that you instill that in your kids..But just the same...I have the same parenting views as my mom, too...

I just dont think the things you used to diss homeschooling are valid arguements.

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Postby Against Homeschooling » Tue Mar 20, 2007 1:35 pm

Am I to surmise by the enormous response delay and subsequent side stepping of the issue that no children of parents active on this forum have ever been on a date?

If so, is it possible that we could move this debate up a notch by being honest instead of trying to make ourselves look better by leaving out important facts of a situation? I personally feel that the wellbeing of children is more important than the egos of their parents.

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Postby Theodore » Tue Mar 20, 2007 1:55 pm

Just so there's no confusion, define what "date" means to you.

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Postby Against Homeschooling » Tue Mar 20, 2007 2:44 pm

Pardon me should I wax poetic, but what I'm really getting at isn't some sort of outrageous, juvenile high school dating scene but rather the whole interpersonal concept - awkward inquiries about mutual feelings, tentative brushes of the hand, going out to the movies with somebody of the opposite sex, etc. etc.

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Postby mdsmomct » Wed Mar 21, 2007 11:13 am

I can answer you AHS that my son has never been on date but he is only 2.5 so he has a ways to go. :wink: If he doesn't date until after hs age it would thrill me to death!

I am not sure how dating in high school helps/benefits anyone? I was bored out of my mind in PS from 10th grade on and my focus went to boys. Did that further me as a person in any way- NO. It was detrimental IMHO. So I dated and made out with boys - when I look back I would have much rather not dated until my 20's when I was mature enough to know a jerk from a good guy and not waste my precious time. Time I could have been studying and setting my sights on college instead of the lame path I chose.

My dh also went to PS and still did not date until college because he was too shy to ask anyone. It didn't hurt him to have waited.

Personally, I think it is far better to forge lasting friendships with both sexes without the pressure of who likes who, blah, blah, blah...As for the popular culture stuff you refer to - I just don't get how being exposed to ugly music and hideous images is beneficial in any way to a young mind?

You get to be a responsible adult for many, many years. You only get to be a child for a precious few. What is the rush to grow up? I sincerely believe AHS, even though you resent your hs years, when you are older and wiser you will look back and be very thankful for those years at home. And once you have a child of your own you will most definitely understand how the ONLY thing you want in this whole world is what's best for them. I am not trying to be patronizing, I understand you are a teen and idealistic- that will change believe it or not!

I have to say whenever I read your posts I am most impressed with your english skills and it only reinforces my desire to educate my son at home.
If you want to pick apart my English go for it- I am PS educated and it definitely shows!!! But, I can write a killer 5 paragrah essay! :D

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Postby Against Homeschooling » Wed Mar 21, 2007 4:03 pm

I'm glad to see that I'm not the only one who detests the five paragraph essay form. AP Exams, anybody? :?

I would hate to think that a basic desire for the ideal isn't a trait that will leave me with age, since it seems to be a fundamental feature of the human condition to desire that which we haven't yet achieved.

Forging lasting relationships is fine in 20/20 hindsight (and those with ample common sense might be able to focus on such redeeming friendships throughout their teen years) but the fact is that while you were making out with everybody in sight you were probably having rather a good time, and conversely I'm sure that the retrospectively negative experience has influenced you in a positive fashion. Likewise, your husband probably regretted his lack of assertiveness and could have benefited from more experience (he wasn't homeschooled, was he?)

But all that's really beside the point. All that I'm getting at is that homeschoolers are generally incapable of doing all these things which we may or may not agree with. Dating seems to be a good benchmark to judge the degree to which homeschooled kids are "getting out" because it's a popular activity among high school aged kids that, by definition, requires interaction with other people.

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Postby mdsmomct » Thu Mar 22, 2007 6:00 am

Yikes- I was not making out with everyone in sight. :shock:

My dh went to PS and was actually bullied and beat up on a regular basis in High School so he knows that negative socialization exists first hand and the teachers never helped him when he asked for help. Luckily, he went on to college where his brilliant mind was appreciated.

AHS I do hope you don't lose your idealism, but once wisdom settles in you can't help but see things a little more realistically and know that things just aren't always going to be what you want regardless of your actions.

Thanks for not picking apart my english skills....

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Postby Mark » Thu Mar 22, 2007 11:30 am

you have an interesting idea of a benchmark AHS. :)


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Postby momo3boys » Fri Mar 23, 2007 2:54 pm

Just because something is fun doesn't mean that it is a good idea. I had "fun" on the outside but I was miserable on the inside. I was being used, and literally abused by my boyfriends. I want to teach my children that just because it looks like "fun" doesn't mean that you should do it. Life is full of choices and I want my children to make the right ones, and if they don't, at least have the attitude that they can learn from the mistakes before it affects the rest of their lives.

I am seeing an alarming new trend of parents that are sending their children to PS so that the teachers can "train" them for life. These children are graduating from school with a work ethic that doesn't exist. They are lazy, and inconsiderate of other's time and money. That is not how I want my children to be as adults. I love my children too much to let them be put in a school with teachers that are having to teach good behavior instead of how to learn.
Phi 4:13 I can do all things through Christ which strengtheneth me.

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Postby Against Homeschooling » Sat Mar 24, 2007 8:59 am

You're all stonewalling. I understand that you're all proud, as parents, and you don't want to take the hit of admitting that maybe some criticisms - important criticisms - of homeschooling are justified. However, it is simply not fair to your children to be an apologist for their lack of social opportunities.

I'm sorry, but if you think kids shouldn't date in high school (or, heaven forbid, shouldn't attend rock concerts) you are in a very small, very peculiar minority. Your anecdotal experiences, however tragic, should be told to your children as warnings regarding potentially dangerous activities and not as condemnations of those activities.

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