Why I am against Homeschooling

Want to contribute your views on the homeschool vs public school debate, or just looking for information? Post here!

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twiggybumble
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Postby twiggybumble » Wed Jun 06, 2007 8:24 am


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Postby Lemmons » Thu Jun 07, 2007 8:31 am


sevenkidsisgreat
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Postby sevenkidsisgreat » Thu Jun 07, 2007 1:52 pm

Is socialization really the issue? I know most teenagers think that without friends they are nothing. To me that is really sad. I was in the mass schooling system all of my childhood and hated the system. There are lots of kids your age but all but a few are what you would consider a friends. I have never once seen the friends I graduated with after all these years and I would say their positive influence on me was negligible; just lots of drama and angst.

Is socialization really the issue. It seems to me that it is really about self esteem. We have been coerced into believing that self esteem is cultivated in a crowd. WRONG. Self respect comes first and with that you can wait for the right people and opportunities to find friends.

Maybe the real focus should be on how can we get our young people to put less emphasis on having friends, and feel more at home in their own skin. See the beauty of themselves and not need a social group to reaffirm that. Socialization is unfortunately seen as being "accepted" by the group with you having to mold to fit the expectations of that group. Socialization should be finding like minded people who accept you for who you are! I agree that homeschoolers could do a better job of this.

I have to say that I have two teenagers right now and I have seen this in them and all their friends. They all sit around and complain about not having enough friends and yet when they are offered opportunities to meet new people they say, NO! They are afraid. So it becomes a vicious cycle. Some of this burden must be born by the teens themselves. Again, self respect comes first and then confidence to put yourself out there comes next. Crowd esteem is really just a fraud.

I hope Against Homeschooling can see that educating our kids is the main goal for parents and socialization is secondary. Our focus and the reason we are sacrificing to educate our children is because mass schooling is not designed to educate but to produce malleable individuals conditioned to operate in a dictatorial country and industrialized work environment. Education is something completely different. Home educators are trying to produce free thinking, knowledgeable, reasoning people who will be able to command their own destiny. That is REAL education, not at all what you receive in the public or private system. Socialization should be a byproduct of a child expressing their interests and finding others with like interests.

If the home education movement does anything about this I hope that it is creating bridges between themselves and organizations who can help our children connect and express their interests. We are sorely lacking in this department.

Just my $.02

Cheryl

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jennm2203
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Postby jennm2203 » Fri Feb 08, 2008 6:57 pm

This has been a great topic. We are just getting started, still have questions, but let me say this... everyone is an individual and has the right to feel as they feel, no matter how they reach those conclusions.

For us.. the school refuses to cooperate with us, refuses to offer any kind of help, even refuses to send extra work home to help her catch up... it has been an awful experience for her and our whole family. The best thing I have read.... in one or two years the problems will not get better... that is so true, they have gotten worse and what was once a small problem has grown.

Our daughter is excited and ready to home school... she escapes from the teasing and the bad language, she escapes fro the unfair treatment and inconsistent teaching and rule enforcement… she escapes form the schedule, rushes assignments and instructions and time management that short changes her education. With home schooling you have the opportunity to work one on one, give personal attention and work on the areas that the child needs the extra help with… and give them the independence to work on subjects on their own that they excel in.

As far as friends go, our daughter understands and is fine because she knows we will not keep her from the friends she sees outside of school. IT takes an effort on the parents end to help the child form friendships while being home schooled. It is different but not impossible to have friends and form lasting relationships with peers. Luckily many of us have local group and co-ops where you have wonderful interactions with people who are doing what you are.

If a parent doesn’t help facilitate the child finding and making friends then sure they may end up lonely. Not like a child can go take a drive and go to the mall on their own. If your parents made it so you were secluded and unable to make friend etc… then do not blame the home school system, as home schooling doesn’t prevent friendships or relationships, it is just gone about in a different way. Groups and meeting on trips etc. Sure it is not like a mob of kids in a hallway, easy pickins’ of friends, but it is very possible to have friends while being home schooled. (We are comparing an all you can eat buffet (public school) to a fancy 4 star restaurant. (home school).

I see nothing but good things in the future for us and for other families just beginning or on this journey. The list of pros are far outweighing the cons on this decision in our life. I am beginning to see life through new eyes, our whole world is filled with things to learn and explore and I am so excited to begin this journey with our daughter and we can do it together.

Sorry it did not work out for you, as it is not one sized fits all, to find the size takes effort and work. Some people just do better with public school. I did and suppose I did fine, A+ honor society student, but I had no friends, was teased terribly and was suicidal over it all, only thing that kept me going was my nose in the books and the teaching my parents did at home helping me explore our wonderful world. (I would have been a perfect home school student, but it was impossible, they were both professionals whom loved their jobs and were civil servants and greatly needed in the community.)

Sorry so long. Blessings to all!

Jenn

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Re: Why I am against Homeschooling

Postby Jazzy » Mon Feb 11, 2008 7:19 pm


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gellegbs
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Postby gellegbs » Thu Feb 21, 2008 5:16 pm

socialization in a public high school is wonderful let me tell you... all it accomplishes is to teach kids how to categorize other kids (the nerd group, the goth group, the emo group, the stoners, the prep group), which does not hold up after 12th grade.

Then you have pressure for having sex, and don't deny that, I know it's there I've been there done that, things have not changed much in the past 10 years. If you're a guy in PS you're either lying about having sex or you really are. If you look up the stats I think its 17 the adverage age for a guy to lose his virginity. Why this is bad is another discussion, you either agree that its bad to have sex as a teen or not. Pressure for trying out drugs, which happens at least once during your 4 years or maybe even starting in middle school, is another downfall of public school socialization.

And the pressure to conform to a group. The preps are having sex, the emos are cutting themselves, the goths are into being bisexual, the stoners are stoners, the nerds and freaks are unhappy and picked on, and the middle of the roaders are constantly being judged into one group or the other.

The teacher to student ratio is so large that there is little or no control over the population. Why do you think some PS have metal detectors? Is this a healthy environment for a kid who is gaining self identity? Yeah let me tell you, kids just flourish in that environment. The only good that comes out of PS is parental involvement. Your doctors. lawyers, writers, successful people who went to PS came out good

because the parents were involved. Since parental involvement is key in a child's success at a prosperous and happy life( there are stats out there), I can't think of anything more involving than homeschooling.

Yeah, homeschooled kids may be different than PS kids, but than again is that a bad thing? Don't assume all HS kids are unhappy to do so is a hasty generalization. Both your opinions and mine are based on our experiences the facts and raw data concludes that HS kids are better members of society period. Most of the pro-homeschool opinions here come from mature adults who have both done the research and made the choice for what they thought was best for their families, and when it comes down to it, that's what being a good parent is about.

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Interesting...

Postby stackeyha » Sun Mar 23, 2008 6:27 am

I've read the entire thread and had some thoughts for you.

AH...you are what...17-18 years old? At first I really did think that you were a troll of sorts...or at the very least NOT a high school aged kid. Your grasp of the English language and proper grammar is above the normal level of most teens and even early college aged students. The more I read, the more I decided to give you the benefit of the doubt.

So, assuming that you really are a high-school aged person...I guess I have to ask...why do you assume that homeschoolers have the corner on loneliness??? Do you HONESTLY believe that what you are going through...this crisis of self...is something to which public schooled kids are immune??

Honestly, I went to public school. I moved a lot but had settled down by my sophomore year. I had friends and I had choir...but I hated school. I didn't like getting up in the morning...I didn't like the teachers who didn't KNOW as much as I did...I didn't like MOST of my classmates.

Once out of high school, I got a job, I went to community college, I met my husband, I got a career, I owned a company, had a baby, then another. Within MONTHS of ending my high school career, I'd lost track of MOST of my friends. Why??? Because, my high school aged friend, life happens.

I've gone back and forth on what to say here. I respect what you are feeling...and I'm sorry that you are feeling it...but at the same time I want to tell you...you have been given SUCH a great gift...you have been given the ability to have your own real thought process...one that is for the most part logical and articulate. You've been forced to learn things in relative isolation, that you would NOT probably have learned by this age in a standard public school situation. Private perhaps...but you would have had to beat the statistics to get the education that you have in a public school...maybe you would have been one of the ones that managed it, who knows for sure.

One of the things that I want to caution you about is the "throwing the baby out with the bathwater" mentality. You say, "I'm lonely THEREFORE homeschooling is bad". There is much more to it than that and if you think about it, you know that.

What ELSE are you? What ELSE have you been given? What ELSE have you accomplished or learned while you've been lonely? Lonely IS going to happen to you again...sometimes it is just part of a season of life. But lonely doesn't mean that you aren't still growing and becoming even more the person that you are meant to be.

The fact that you are doing WELL socially (by your own admission) in what has to be under 2 years tells me that your "loneliness" and "social ineptitude" was not dibilitating. More likely it was the insecurity that follows us all every single time there is something that we are asked to do that is outside our comfort zone. And let me tell you...that is not something any of us ever grow out of ALL THE WAY.

Your post has had me thinking all night. I just don't think that loneliness trumps the positives that I can see in your home school education.
Last edited by stackeyha on Sun Mar 23, 2008 7:04 am, edited 1 time in total.

stackeyha
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And you ....

Postby stackeyha » Sun Mar 23, 2008 7:02 am

Deathcoreaddy ...

You need to get a grip. This is all nonesence..."homeschooling is gay" and whatnot.

Here is a bottom line truth for you...if you HATE it, do what you are supposed to do so that your mother can trust you enough to let you stop.

I can tell you right now, with just the couple of posts that I've read on this thread I'd have yanked you out of school as well. You really DON'T have your own mind. You really ARE peer dependant. And that really IS stunting the young MAN you can become.

You say that you want to be a musician??? You want to sing??? Well singers are a dime a dozen...if you REALLY want to make a living in a band, get yourself an instrument that you can sing with and LEARN IT. Nothing is free...NOTHING...and you can sit around and b*tch and complain, but the bottom line is...YOU AREN'T GOING ANYWHERE! Get off your butt, stop worrying what other people think and SUCCEED at something.

I can pretty much guarantee that if you would get up EVERY MORNING at a reasonable time...knock out the academics that you WILL need to fall back on until you make it big...your mother would be MUCH more open to helping you to follow your dream.

The problem is, right now, you are acting like a spoiled two-year old who isn't allowed to poke a pin in an electric socket. You want what you want REGARDLESS of the damage it is causing you.

Take a step OUT of your teenaged angst. What are you SUPPOSED to be doing with this time in your life??? You have no REAL responsibilites right now...no MAJOR bills to pay...no kids to feed...no job that you have to go to that takes time away from what you could be learning. You are supposed to be LEARNING right now. Learning all kinds of things...math, grammar, science, history, music...you are SUPPOSED to be dreaming of what you are going to become...but along with dreaming goes work. Work now, before you have to pay for rent and while your momma is still making you dinner.

Get over yourself and your little pitty party and get to work...there is MUCH to be done...and it is MUCH easier done at home.

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Do we have posers on this thread?

Postby mcb777 » Fri Apr 04, 2008 7:58 am

God is Good!
All the time.

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very sad

Postby bossmom4 » Thu May 29, 2008 10:13 pm

I feel for this young man, who obviously was very unhappy. However, as he matures, he will realize that the socialization issue is a dead issue. What he is really referring to is socializing, not socialization. He may not have availed himself of socializing opportunities while in school, but true socialization is "to make fit for companionship with others; make sociable." Public school does not do this, in fact, public school teaches pack behavior; that children are "not" ok - they are not pretty enough, smart enough, handsome enough, cool enough, or talented enough. Public school does more damage to a child's sense of who they are by constantly conveying the message that they will never be good enough. Out of our four graduated homeschooled children, one is a married lawyer; one is a married mother of two; one is in pre-nursing classes in college; and one is a pro-surfer who travels the world. They are amazing kids. Not because of WHAT they are, but because of WHO they are. They are intelligent, kind, responsible, sensitive, funny, creative, friendly and well-adjusted.

I thank God we homeschooled. My own public school experience was horrible, and I would have loved homeschooling! Now, when I make a stupid error, I usually say, "I was public-school ejumicated!" :lol:
Joyfully His!
Carol W.
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tylerjoe
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thoughts from 16 yo that went thru same thing.

Postby tylerjoe » Sat Jul 05, 2008 11:57 pm


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Postby xinemom » Tue Aug 19, 2008 10:38 pm


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Postby mschickie » Wed Aug 20, 2008 6:40 am

I think you hit it on the head with the grass is always greener statement. There will always be some kids who do not get social skills while being homeschooled but there is no guarantee that they would have developed these same skills in the public schools either. There are just some kids who it takes a while before they blossom socially. I really did not blossom till college and I went to a public and then private school. We as parents need to do what we veiw as the best plan for our kids. Although kids may not like what course we have chosen they may not see the wisdom of it for years. This is not to say that there are some bad homeschool situtations, there are. The thing is there are bad public school situtations too. Nothing is perfect but parents need to do what they think is best.

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Postby bbaron312 » Fri Oct 17, 2008 10:32 am

I am also late in the conversation and I by no means read every reply but this is just my thought. I wish i had an alma mater to associate myself with at university. My public (and private) school friends have an extreme pride in their high schools and they have a chance to go back to their high school's homecoming and be recognized as an alumni which I unfortunately will not be able to do until I graduate. I don't know. Maybe it is because now I'm getting a taste of school rivalries and experiencing how one common thing like going to the same school can bring complete strangers together.
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Postby bippycorn » Wed Nov 05, 2008 1:08 pm

All i remember from my junior highschool days were me getting picked on by one bully in an extreme fashion each day, and this was in front of the teachers on top of that. I wouldnt want my future kids going through something like this. Imagine if the government stopped the department of education and gave that money out to the parents of home schooled children instead of to that massive inefficient beaurocracy? Not only would more parents afford to stay home but that money would be put to better use instead of lining up politicians pockets.


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