Why I am against Homeschooling

Want to contribute your views on the homeschool vs public school debate, or just looking for information? Post here!

Moderators: Theodore, elliemaejune

Against Homeschooling
User
Posts: 32
Joined: Tue Jan 03, 2006 6:12 pm

Why I am against Homeschooling

Postby Against Homeschooling » Tue Jan 03, 2006 6:43 pm

Hi.

I was homeschooled up to halfway through tenth grade. Having never been to school, I had no idea what to expect - although I was quite sure by that point that I would enjoy it more than I had enjoyed homeschooling. Why? Because I was lonely. I was absolutely starved for friendship. I don't live out in the boondocks like the stereotypical recluse homeschooler; I simply had no effective way of connecting. Without consistent exposure to peers, I lacked effective social skills. I was a sad, shy person.

Enrolling in school was the best thing that I ever did. I had the good luck of meeting some excellent friends, and I got into good classes. With some hard work, I've developed passable social skills I am very happy with. A year later, I'm enjoying myself like I never had the chance to before.

I wouldn't recommend homeschooling for any children aged higher than primary school, unless as a parent you feel that you can acclimate them to other children their own age on a regular basis. Those bold letters have a lot of feeling behind them. Many times have I heard proud homeschooling parents brag of their children's busy social lives - conveniently not mentioning that these social opportunities occur infrequently, only in structured circumstances, or with children of widely disparate ages. I'm not saying that children of different ages cannot be mixed. I'm saying that healthy children must be exposed to a peer group, and must have friends - real friends with whom they actually want to associate, not kids their parents have picked out for them to be friends with just because they also happen to be homeschooled.

I pick no fights with homeschooling over its academic prowess. It is obviously usually superior to the public school system. I am speaking out against homeschooling because of its utter social inadequacies. Out of the relatively large group of homeschoolers with whom I am acquainted, I do not know a single one who I would classify as well-balanced or well-socialized. Of course, the parents of these poor kids would have you believe otherwise - but you need only sit in on their homeschool meetings to hear the tales of their unfortunate children being socially rejected when they try to mix with kids from the mainstream education system.

Kids need friends. Before you post irate responses to this thread, please think about your children. Regardless of what they tell you, are they happy? Do they have real friends? Think back to your own childhood. Would you have been happy with the degree of exposure to peers that your children have? You might even ask them if they feel able to join a mainstream activity (sports, after-school clubs) and get along with other kids. You might be surprised.

-A happy ex-homeschoooler

User avatar
Theodore
Moderator
Posts: 2115
Joined: Thu Oct 06, 2005 4:14 pm
Location: Missouri, US
Contact:

Homeschoolers are not the social rejects...

Postby Theodore » Tue Jan 03, 2006 9:06 pm

"...their unfortunate children being socially rejected when they try to mix with kids from the mainstream education system."

What you fail to realize is that one of the primary reasons people homeschool their children is because their children are already being socially rejected by kids from the mainstream education system. Why? Because they're just not interested in the same sorts of things. The public school culture emphasizes looks, sports achievement, a knowledge of popular music, etc. at the cost of education. Homeschoolers often just can't relate to public schoolers, and because they're the minority, they're labeled the rejects rather than the other way around.

Also, what makes you think extracurricular activities are automatically inferior to the "real life" of public school? Sure, if a kid never gets to meet anyone his own age who has the same interests, he's probably not going to be having as much fun as he could, but then again, his peers could just as easily be beating him up and stealing his lunch money. And there are many, many extracurriculars you can do where you will meet kids who have the same interests as you. For instance, my siblings do or have done:

Civil Air Patrol
Boy Scouts
Tae Kwon Do
Swim team (neighborhood and local high school)
Church activities
Volunteering at a local hospital
Assorted math, spelling, etc. competitions

And here's some statistics on homeschooler socialization:
http://www.hslda.org/docs/study/ray1997/17.asp

Yes, homeschoolers may not be able to relate to public schoolers (or vice versa), but oddly enough, the same homeschoolers whom you think are so badly adjusted now will probably end up in positions of leadership in college and the business world, where people are more mature and education and imagination are actually appreciated. Their well-adjusted high school peers will be flipping burgers and dreaming about that sports scholarship that got away.

Incidently, what size is your public school, and what is its national ranking? There was an article in Reader's Digest some time ago with statistics showing a direct correlation between the size of a school and its test scores. Smaller schools do significantly better, and I would imagine are also better organized and much more orderly. There's also the matter of neighborhood. Just because your school happens to be nice, doesn't mean schools everywhere else (or the children attending them) are nice too. We get messages all the time from parents whose children have been ignored, abused, and/or labeled as defective and put on drugs. Are you going to tell those kids that they should stay in a public school system that obviously hates them?

EDIT: Also, many homeschoolers use their local high school for some form of extracurricular activity, and take courses at the local community college. Homeschooling does not mean ignoring the outside world; it just means being able to control your schedule and curriculum.

Against Homeschooling
User
Posts: 32
Joined: Tue Jan 03, 2006 6:12 pm

Postby Against Homeschooling » Wed Jan 04, 2006 4:24 pm


User avatar
Theodore
Moderator
Posts: 2115
Joined: Thu Oct 06, 2005 4:14 pm
Location: Missouri, US
Contact:

Re: Why I am against Homeschooling

Postby Theodore » Wed Jan 04, 2006 6:38 pm


wvrobin
User
Posts: 27
Joined: Sun Jan 01, 2006 10:03 pm
Location: WV

Postby wvrobin » Sat Jan 07, 2006 1:32 am


User avatar
Theodore
Moderator
Posts: 2115
Joined: Thu Oct 06, 2005 4:14 pm
Location: Missouri, US
Contact:

The problem with drugs is...

Postby Theodore » Sat Jan 07, 2006 4:09 am


Juloyes
User
Posts: 15
Joined: Sat Nov 12, 2005 6:09 pm

homeschooling is an intensely personal choice

Postby Juloyes » Thu Feb 02, 2006 9:24 pm

You can quote all the statistics you want, but each child, each family, each school is different. Why can't people just let each family make their own choices? Home schools are all different, some go well, some don't. Some public schools are fine, some are terrible. Some kids loved their hs experience, some, like this person, hated it. There are so many variables involved. We have no idea what this person's family life was like, but I know for my children, I want them to desire their family more than their friends. I want home to be the most fun place they can be! That's why I homeschool-to raise them up in the fear and admontion of the Lord, to pass on His mighty deeds to the next generation. To delight in my children and see them delight in the loving God we serve. And that's my personal choice. But I don't pick on my friends who choose to keep their children in the public school. I know they love their children just as much as I do and feel that they can instill the same values I can homeschooling. Choosing to homeschool is wonderful, but it's not gospel truth for goodness sake! :shock:
Julie

User avatar
Theodore
Moderator
Posts: 2115
Joined: Thu Oct 06, 2005 4:14 pm
Location: Missouri, US
Contact:

But if you look at the homeschool vs public school debate...

Postby Theodore » Fri Feb 03, 2006 2:01 am

Well yes, but if you look at the homeschool vs public school debate from the viewpoint of which method works best overall, then statistics become very important. There are such things as bad homeschools and good public schools, but not enough of either to change the fact that, speaking in general terms, homeschooling works better overall. Perhaps if the schools were smaller and actually accountable to the people using them, they would become more attractive.

In the interests of choice, I'm all in favor of a school voucher system. :P

Tabz
User
Posts: 89
Joined: Mon Feb 06, 2006 12:39 pm

Postby Tabz » Mon Feb 06, 2006 1:07 pm

I would agree about the school voucher system. After all you are dealing with people as people. Each of us have different needs, wants and desires. I was homeschooled from pre-school to the end of my highschool experience and it worked wonderfully for me. Why? Because my personality is such that I work better on my own when it comes to learning something. By the time I hit jr. high and highschool I was self-taught in basically every subject. I was comprehending and understanding things at a level above my mother's education level.

For others they need the option of something different. Not everyone in life is a self-starter like me. Not everyone is cut out for big classrooms.

ATL Mom
User
Posts: 14
Joined: Tue Feb 21, 2006 4:06 pm

Postby ATL Mom » Wed Feb 22, 2006 10:35 pm

Wow! I think this person hated his HS experience as much as I hated my public school experience.

Ultimately it does depend on the family to determine what works best for them. I never even considered HS as an option until my current husband and I had a child together. My oldest is in the public school system and that won't change because his dad won't agree to homeschooling even though I've tried to explain why it would be good for him. Oh well.

Our decision was based on several factors. Academics was definitely the most important issue for us. We enrolled my oldest child in a private school with high hopes that the private sector would prove to be more agreeable than the public sector. We were wrong. We encountered the same issues with other kids and the same apathy from the teachers. It was horribly disappointing.

Based on our experience with both public and private school, my younger children will be HS from the beginning.

By the way, the kids that are picked on in Kindergarten are the same kids that are picked on in Middle School and the same kids that are picked on in High School. The cycle will not change just because the kids involved get older. I know. I lived through that cycle as the one kid in my class who was completely ostracized. The teachers didn't do anything to help and none of those kids ever got old enough to get over their poor behavior. There are some of those same kids that still have those same attitudes even now - and I'm 32 years old. This is not a problem that gets better with age. The only thing that might get better is the individual person's ability to cope with the abuse.
If you had it to do all over again, would you?

sheri berri
User
Posts: 3
Joined: Thu Mar 02, 2006 4:09 pm
Location: redondo beach Ca

Postby sheri berri » Thu Mar 02, 2006 4:25 pm

Interesting the "ole" social question, to the original poster who did not have adequet social oppourtunity was it lack of funds, location, or non support in the enviorment??? Which is what it sounds like.....Every person is different on social needs Namaste sheri
Treat people as if they were what they ought to be and you help them become what they are capable of becoming!!! goethe

kerlin
User
Posts: 11
Joined: Mon Apr 10, 2006 9:15 pm
Location: Oklahoma

Postby kerlin » Mon Apr 10, 2006 10:15 pm

It is very sad that you have a poor opinion of homeschool. But it sounds as if you are still in school, so I hope in time you will come to appreciate all of the experiences that have made you who you are.

Here is an example of a possitive homeschool experience:

My little brother was homeschooled most of his time growing up, he is now 25 and very happy.

He can talk to any person of any age because of his homeschool experiences. He excells in his career and has a family of his own now. His two boys are only toddlers but already being homeschooled, and they will be for a long time.

One activity my brother was involved with that I have not read on here .... he was a re-enactor. He re-enacted civil war for his 9th grade history class, he loved it (still does actually) and learned to socialize with people of all ages, not only the few his age. I think I will ask my kids if they want to be involved in something like that.

He also owned a business at the age of 16, and learned much more than consumer education ever taught me in public school. He went to museums, plays, theme parks, all in homeschool.

It took me a while to learn this: Homeschool is not public school at home.

The last day my son was in public school, we had a meeting. The principle told me that I am not a certified teacher. I thanked her for reminding me of that, and remided her, that she wasn't either before college, and she taught her kids to walk, talk, brush their teeth, and many other aspects of life. That is where homeschooling starts, it is so natural to us in the begining, then after our children go off to public school, we become numb to the natural way of teaching.
Mommy of two

User avatar
Theodore
Moderator
Posts: 2115
Joined: Thu Oct 06, 2005 4:14 pm
Location: Missouri, US
Contact:

My oldest bro was accepted at the Coast Guard academy...

Postby Theodore » Mon Apr 10, 2006 10:29 pm

My oldest bro homeschooled all the way up through high school, was accepted at the Coast Guard academy (which has one of the strictest sets of entrance requirements in the nation), graduated with honors, and is now happily married and based in California. He was quite popular at the academy, and has no trouble communicating with others.

Tabz
User
Posts: 89
Joined: Mon Feb 06, 2006 12:39 pm

Postby Tabz » Thu Apr 13, 2006 7:52 am

I was homeschooled from K-12th grade. I entered college and by the time I left I knew 90% of the people on campus, including staff and administration - so the social adjustment is a myth for a lot of people.

cokidd
User
Posts: 1
Joined: Fri Apr 21, 2006 11:41 am
Location: Post Falls ID

Socialization

Postby cokidd » Fri Apr 21, 2006 9:33 pm

The main objection I often hear to people wanting to send their kids to public school is the issue of Socialization. We homeschool our children and one of the biggest reasons is the advice a pastor gave us when we were deciding whether to homeschool, public, christian school. He said, If you want your children to grow up and be mature, let them spend most of their time with those who are more mature than themselves. If you want your children to remain immature, throw them in with a crowd of other immature people. I believe this advice is true and it has proven to be good wisdom for our life. I could go on, but I won't right now.


Return to “Homeschool vs Public School”

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 9 guests