Why I am against Homeschooling

[dkatiemom]

I just wanted to comment, AH, and let you know how impressed I am with your vocabulary and intelligence.
You are a very capable debator and a felicitous writer.

You have, indeed, impressed me to the point that I am now convinced that my child should be homeschooled. I was on the fence about the issue, but because of you I realize that I can nurture and cultivate his potential and create a learning environment where he will emerge a solid, intelligent, well-spoken young man (thank you for that!).

We are a warm and welcoming home, open to most of the neighborhood children. I feel certain that there will be no shortage of footfalls on our doorstep and no lack of friends, laughing and playing throughout our house.

One other thing...I will take great care to temper my lessons with much good humor, so that my son does not learn to deal with others in a dry, pretentious or hostile manner.

Thanks again!

[magictrees]

[thuja]

I have really enjoyed reading the discussions and the tenacity of "Against Homeschooling". I appreciate the point of view ( or is it a viewpoint) and will definitely take it into consideration while homeschooling my children. I would like to hear more reasons why homeschoolers did not like being homeschooled so that I can make balanced decisions on how I raise my family.
The reasons we are going to homeschool our 10, 8, 5 and 3 year olds next year have to do with our school being forced to "teach to the standardized tests", having a "dreamy" child who is always trying to sneak in a book that has nothing to do with what his teacher is saying, our tiny, little town school making me sign in at two locations just to drop off forgotten lunch, etc., without allowing me to see my child, and the dumbing down of our children by "no child left behind", as well as many other small reasons, llike not being taught to live gently on this planet and not being taught to treat other people as unique treasures.
My hubby and I feel that our school is teaching them to be afraid (MAKE SURE YOU SIGN IN, LOOK WHAT HAPPENED AT THE AMISH SCHOOL and WE ARE LEARNING SELF DEFENSE IN P.E. SO THAT A KIDNAPPER CAN'T GET US) and teaching them to think that control by a governing body is for their own safety(WE ARE LISTENING IN ON YOUR PHONE CONVERSATIONS AND READING YOUR EMAILS AND FINDING OUT WHAT YOU CHECKED OUT OF THE LIBRARY TO KEEP YOU SAFE FROM TERRORISTS). We want them to be individuals and we want to respect their needs be it socially, emotionally, intellectually, physically, spiritually, or other.
Anyway, I digress. . . . I would love to hear from homeschoolers or homeschool and public schoolers who have finished high school on whether they feel they were slighted and missed out on anything.
thuja

[marvelstorm]

I surfed in here looking for information and support for how to teach a child who is displaying inattentive / ADHD type symptoms. Then I was trying to find if there were any posts about businesses who give incentives for kids with honor roll status on their report cards. That is when I found this post. I read a couple of pages, then when I saw that AgainstHomeschooling was reaching the height of rudeness, I let my daughter talk me into joining so that she could post her reply. My daughter is 14, and we have been homeschooling for a year. I hope AgainstHomeschooling really reads and understands what my daughter has to say.



Hi,my name is Alyssa and I`ve gone to 4 different public schools,and ended up socially rejected each time. But it didn`t start with the students at first. Actually the students were pretty nice as far as I can remember. It all started with my teacher, Ms.Romos. I had been nice and never wanted to cause trouble for any body. Ms.Romos would tell lies about how I wasn`t paying attention in class or I was not doing my work correctly. I never could understand why she would do something so mean, especially to someone that was a whole lot younger than her. I kept getting in trouble at home, and my parents did not believe that the teacher was lying. Eventually my parents began to see right through Ms.Romos and they pulled me out and put me in a different school. Third grade is when my hell on earth began. Once again I ended up with a mean teacher who didn`t give a crap about me. Like always, the first day was nice. I ended up with a best friend named Daneille. She was the only friend I had. The kids began distancing themselves from me and calling me names day after day. Starting with the U.G.L.Y. thing. It was this short but very mean song they would sing whenever I would pass by them. Yet,the teachers always turned away,never caring. I began thinking it was normal, and of course there were popular girls and guys and I just wanted to fit in. So eventually, my best friend moved away and I had no friends. I tried everything to fit in but nothing worked. I even had a P.E. teacher who, while during p.e. class, would tell us to run 5 laps while she would eat a candy bar. I`m serious. And she was obese. Tell me, how do you hope that kids wil want to exercise if not even their teacher does it? She even made up this crap of a story saying that she had a throat problem and had to drink soda in order to make it better. I`m older now so I know how full of crap she was. Anyway, things got worse and my teachers cared less and less. What really sucked is that the kids that were teasing me were all of the teachers and the principal`s favorites. So if I told on them, I would get in trouble for lying, even though I wasn`t. School there got so bad, that my grades were dropping and I started cheating on my papers. But one time I was caught and my parents attention was drawn. They began asking me questions about why I was doing these things. By the time I did tell them, we were moving to Hawaii. I went to 6th grade in Hawaii and things just got worse. Students were cursing and fights were always being started. One time, I verbally stood up for one of my friends, was attacked by two girls who bullied me frequently, and ended up with deep nail punctures on my arms from the girls nails. The nurse had to treat them and bandage them, it was so bad. I could`ve protected myself. But I thought I was going to get into trouble, so I let them do it. This was so horrible for me,I even thought about suicide,but I couldn`t let myself do it. But what really sucked is even though I didn`t lay a finger on them, I still got into trouble. But they didn`t get suspended or anything. They got one day in the office, and so did I! My mom was so angry but all I did was cry. It was so bad at school, that I decided to run away from home. I was gone for the whole night before I realized how much I`d miss my family. So I headed back and my dad found me and picked me up. He and my mom had been frantically searching for me since 5 a.m. when they realized that I was missing. They had even called the security police and filed a report. I made up a stupid story about how I followed a guy out of the house until I really did tell my parents everything. I graduated from elementary school with D`s and C`s.I went on to middle school and I thought everyone would be more grown up. I was wrong. Again I was getting D`s,C`s,and F`s. If I needed help in my school work, no one would help me. I got into trouble in school for things that weren`t even my fault. All I was learning in health was about sex. How to have sex, how to get pregnant, and what the male and female parts of the body looked like. I had A Hawaiian history class taught by a Hawaiian teacher. The teacher was always mad at all of us when he wasn`t in a good mood, which seemeed to be every day. Sometimes he`d put on a movie during class so he wouldn`t have to speak to us. It was horrible. I tried out for the cheer team, and even made it. I thought and hoped it would be fun. At first it was, but then it seemed all the other girls became close friends with each other, except me. If I made a cheer move or dance, they`d say they didn`t like it or it was stupid or something. My coach decided that maybe if we had a sleepover, we`d grow closer as a squad. We were telling our stories about our lives and everyone was crying and hugging each other, but when it came my turn, no body came to tell me it was ok. They just kinda stood there until one of the girls finally did get up and give me a hug. It sucks, the team that I worked hard to get on, the activity that I believed would finally get me accepted, got me dissed! I finally dropped off the team after trying time and time again to get them to like me. I felt that maybe I really was some kind of freak. That maybe no matter where I went that I would never be accepted for who I am by anybody. My mom came early to pick me up from school one day, and there was an "incident" that she felt was handled very poorly. She went to tell Ms.Bowers, my principal, but she didn`t do anything about the "incident". Then she sat down and talked to me and asked me to really be honest about everything that was going on. My mom pulled me out and told me she was going to HS me. I`m not saying that I don`t get lonely, because God knows I do, but I`d rather be lonely than have to go through all of that again. Thanks to my mom and dad, I already know what I want to be: A forensic Pathologist and a field agent!



This is my daughter's story from her own hand. She has friends now who she met through our homeschool group. There was one girl she met the very first night we got involved and they hit it off right away. They have been friends ever since. AgainstHomeschooling says that homeschoolers pick whom their children hang out with, but all of us who are parents know that is not true. We have that old adage, "you can lead a horse to water but you can't make it drink". That is true, because if my children decide they do not want to play with or be friends with certain kids, then they won't. End of story. AgainstHomeschooling also says that we overreact and are overprotective when our kids get their feelings hurt. That is certainly not true. It took me 4 years of going through emotional hell with my daughter before I took the plunge and decided to homeschool. It also took almost a whole school year sitting idly by while teachers who were just "working for a paycheck" were emotionally abusing my 6 year old son. And nearly a whole school year of my 9 year old son coming home telling me that his classroom was like a jungle. You know what I told all three of my kids when they used to complain about school? I USED TO TELL THEM THAT IT WASN"T REALLY THAT BAD, THAT THE WERE JUST OVERREACTING! Until my 9 year old son got threatened by another boy that he was going to kill him. Until a week after that, I got to witness in my 9 year old's classroom what I can only describe as a one man wrecking crew yelling and throwing things at the teacher, knocking students' property off their desks, and hanging up the telephone while she was franticly trying to get the vice principal to come and remove him, and keep control of her class at the same time. The child was back in school the next day with no detention, in school suspension or expulsion. Until I witnessed one teacher jerking my 6 year old son by his arm one day after school. I went straight to the principal and he was moved to another abuser's classroom. Only this abuser was a little more cunning. She kept her abuse on the down low. I was the dumb, cooperative parent, who never gave her any trouble, and always did what SHE thought was best. She was the LICENSED PROFESSIONAL right? Surely she knew better how to teach my son than I did!! Then one day, she showed her true nature, and I snatched my precious baby from that school before I did or said something that would get me arrested. I talked to my son, and I really listened to him. And he has blossomed being homeschooled, because he still gets to have fun whether he finishes his work or not, but he loves to learn now. Before that, I knew nothing about homeschooling. I thought it was just done by some backwoods religious nuts who did not want their kids mixing with all of us public school devils. But when I took the time to find out what it was and was not, I feel that I made the best possible decision for MY family.



So AgainstHomeschooling, before you pass judgement on people because of your bad experience, just listen to what some of the parents' experiences are and realize that all of us try to make the best decision possible for our family

[Mark]

[Against Homeschooling]

The following is for marvelstorm's daughter.

First, I would like you to understand that I am very, very sorry about what you have gone through. You have suffered through adversity in nearly every aspect of your young life, and I commend you on never having given up hope, which can often be the easy thing to do.

What you must understand is that fundamentally, as individuals we are nothing but anecdotes. You and I could type away all day and share our anecdotal experiences without coming any closer to the truth, which it seems that so many here are so talented at neatly sidestepping. The reality is that if everybody (heaven forbid) had an experience in school so poor as yours, there would be a lot more miserable people in the world.

It sounds as if this fibbing, probably unstable Ms. Romos character probably never should have been allowed in a classroom in the first place. I probably would have disliked her just as much as you did. But who should really be blamed: the insensitive, poorly managed school that hired her or the entire concept of public education? I've had a lot of mediocre teachers (and to tell you the truth, I can't wait to graduate and go to college where I'll get some real work done) but I've also had some great ones - ones who have been a lot better than my parents. Do you think we can agree that hiring more excellent teachers and firing the Ms. Romos types would be a better option than everybody just quitting in disgust?

It sounds to me like you're working with the negative mindset that school isn't going to work for you so you might as well give up. If you're only in 9th grade now, just think how boring the next three and a half years are going to be if you keep thinking that way!

Here's my theory. It sounds like after your initial bad experience, you started trying too hard to be popular, joining the cheer leading squad and all that jazz. I mean, come on - could there possibly be a worse place to meet nice, caring people than on a cheer leading squad? I've never really hit it off with "popular" kids because "popular" kids are generally too busy being popular to ever hit it off with anybody. My strategy has just been to take the hardest classes I can, where I've inevitably met friendly, interesting people who frankly have better things to do with their time than be popular.

I wish you and your parents the best of luck, and I hope that if I seem rude on occasion you will understand that such sentiments are strictly because of how bad I feel for the kids who are suffering through some of the crazy things their parents are doing to them. It sounds like you belong to a family that wants the best for you, though, so I'm sure you guys will figure this out one way or another.

[Theodore]

[phil-pod]

ok....i just started homeschooling in december of 06`. I had been in public school all my life. I do agree that many public school students end up with good grades, but many fail most classes and end up doing bad things. Many people at the public school that i was at smoked, was on drugs, popped pills, cussed, and cut themsleves. Those are things that teens shouldnt do or even think about. Everyone I new did at least one of those bad things. It was a horrible enviroment .The school only contacted parents and let the rest slide. Many people at school was depressed and thought of killing themselves. If one person says that to another, then that person will think the same. Now, when my Mom mentioned homeschooling, I thought that I would never leave the house, i wouldnt have friends, and that I would lose contact with the world. But..its not like that. I have ALOT of homeschool friends that i talk to everyday and see about once or twice a week. I leave the house about once a day...and i still have contact with my old friends from public school. I think that it is the best thing for any teenager. Yes, I do admit that my grades have gone down a little, but at least i am learning it. If i was sitting in a classroom right now, I would be passing notes..and wondering about which guy I should be with. I wasnt learnng anything. If I had a test, I wouldnt study, but somehow...I still passed the test. The teachers were hateful and rude.

Do you see why I am for homeschool?

[hummingbird]

I haven't really read this whole long post, but I would love to join the discussion. I am currently in college and was homeschooled until eighth grade. I don't think that the real issue is homeschooling, rather it is what is happening to society as a whole. Why are we even looking at homeschooling and did not think of this in the past? Why are the parents deciding to homeschool their child? Is academic success more important than learning how to operate effectively in society? Are parents teaching their children how to socialize in public schools or letting the public schools raise them? If the public schools in the area are awful, then maybe homeschooling is a good alternative. If, however, the public schools are operating efficiently, then maybe the children should stay in school. I think the greatest benefit of homeschooling is that the parents are directly raising their children. However, one of the most important roles a parent can play in a child's life, is showing them how to live. How can they show them how to live if they don't let them live? Many public schools are problematic b/c there are no outside adults involved & the adults that are involved contribute more to the problems than solve them.
So, phil-pod, it sounds like the district you are in is falling apart. Since one of the main benefits of a public school over homeschooling is socialization, if you can't find that there, then homeschooling is probably better. Are there any private schools in the area? These schools could help you socially and discipline you to keep up your academic performance. Personally, I think that going to any school is better than homeschooling. Being involved with a community is very important. People need people to live; we were created to socialize. If people can't stand up for themselves anymore and just follow others like lemmings, then maybe that should be looked into. Maybe the people in charge need to help these kids out.
Magictrees, I completely agree with what you are saying. It is very important that your children make meaningful relationships. Sometimes this happens in school, sometimes it doesn't. In my case, me and my siblings were all very shy. We had many friends growing up, both home-schooled and non-homeschooled. I don't really remember how great the relationships were, other than I usually felt inferior to some of the kids. Some of them just seemed so happy and full of life. I think it really depends on the home. To say that homeschooling is appropriate for anyone is a lie, and to say that it is wrong for everyone is a lie. I do not think, in any way, that it should be undertaken by just anyone.

[phil-pod]

Yes....the school didnt care about the kids...they wanted to make themsleves look good. I am homeschooled...... and it is much better than public school. I have nice friends.... i have really nice friends. I have much more friends being homeschooled than public school. I talk to all my old friends...and i talk to my new friends EVERY DAY!

[Martha]

[4given]

[Calla_Dragon]

[WishboneDawn]

[amylin0124]