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Need help..."Difficult" 5 year old
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cyndiv
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Joined: 13 Apr 2007
Posts: 2
Location: Central New York

PostPosted: Tue Apr 17, 2007 8:19 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Calla,
Thanks for the reply.

For your oldest son, did/do you homeschool? We are homeschooling my son starting in the fall (well really starting now...but finishing out the year in preschool.)

Any advice on how to handle getting compliance with work? He is VERY bright as you said. He is reading and has mastered many of the 1st grade math concepts. He seems to like to work mostly with computer learning materials.

Thanks again!
Cyndi
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Calla_Dragon
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Joined: 22 Jan 2007
Posts: 212

PostPosted: Tue Apr 17, 2007 9:06 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Yes, I homeschool him and my younger son who is almost 4. I've homeschooled my oldest for about 3-4 years now. He spent some time in the school district in special ed/autism classes but I pulled him out due to some very serious problems with the school district.

There are some days I have trouble getting him to do his schoolwork. He's famous for trying to draw me into power battles. I just tell him that he won't be able to do anything else until <x> is finished and if that takes all day because he's sitting there refusing to do it, so be it. I then busy myself with other stuff and make it appear that it doesn't matter to me if he wastes his afternoon being stubborn, I will do what I need to get done regardless. A power battle can't be a power battle if one party doesn't engage - I just make sure not to engage him. He almost always comes around and decided to do his homework, but there have been times he's sat there for an hour - the whole time trying to draw me into an arguement. Nothing ever comes of it if I seem uninterested in what he's trying to do. Conversely, I try to recognize (not necessarily praise since these kids catch on to empty praise easily - they start to see the emptiness of the absentminded "oh, that's great sweetie" they get from parents sometimes. This is especially true if you have an energetic and/or bright child who is always asking questions and doing stuff. We get burnt out on looking at every little thing they do and we need a break so we hand out empty praise in an attempt to get a moment of peace - I've done it. Recognition, as opposed to outright praise tells them that you're paying attention and engaged in what they're doing and they're getting attention for doing positive things. They don't feel they have to be bad to get your attention nor do they feel you're just telling them what they want to hear so they'll go play quietly.

That's what I do with mine and it seems to work wonders. This is with a child who does meet all the "red flags" for ODD and ADHD. [/i]
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