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Home schooling educational quality - is my child learning??

 
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63125
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Joined: 05 Sep 2012
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PostPosted: Wed Sep 05, 2012 2:49 am    Post subject: Home schooling educational quality - is my child learning?? Reply with quote

Hi all,

I have two great kids that mean the world to me but they live with my ex wife and are home schooled. I get along with my ex wife alright and was initially against home schooling but came around on it eventually. However as of late I have some real concerns about the quality of my first child's education.

My daughter should be starting 2nd grade at this point. Right now she isn't reading very well and has trouble spelling most words save for 3-4 letter ones she has seen before. I ask her is she knows her vowels, long 'A' sounds, etc and other basic questions and she just doesn't seem to be grasping some/most of the concepts. I'm really worried to say the least.

She has online interaction with her teacher and other students that I have watched but she seems to be behind the other kids in figuring out what is going on. And this includes my ex wife helping her read the instructions and giving her the answer about 50% of the time.

My ex wife is not the most organized person in the world and from what little she shares with me they do maybe an hour of schooling a day that seems to include alot of arts and crafts type stuff. I feel my ex isn't putting in enough time with her but I want to make sure some of my concerns are founded before I address them.

I'm not sure where other kids are as far as their curriculum but is this normal for a home school environment? Shouldn't you be able to read and write by the end of the 1st grade? When I went to school it was alot more organized and most kids her age seem to have a much better grasp of basic reading and math skills. I remember as a kid we were reading and writing pretty extensively by the second grade....

Does the home school organizer or teacher monitor the kid's progress at all or is it all on the parent to track the child's developement? I admit I don't know much about home schooling and thought their would be more participation or interaction with a teacher or organizer or someone that would assist in my children's education besides my ex wife?

Any info other parents can pass along would be very appreciated.
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elliemaejune
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Joined: 30 Oct 2006
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PostPosted: Wed Sep 05, 2012 7:38 am    Post subject: Re: Home schooling educational quality - is my child learnin Reply with quote

I implore you to trust your children's mother.

I don't know what kind of program your children are enrolled in, but I do know that regardless of what kind of outside oversight there may be, the parent is still responsible.

What you describe does not sound unusual to me. I cannot make a more in-depth assessment, however, since I'm not getting first-hand information.

Please do not make homeschooling an issue. Millions of parents--most often, mothers--have successfully educated their children at home, even though to those who are not living with the children every day the progress may seem slow. It will best if you encourage your children, rather than quiz them when they're with you. Your children's lives have already been torn apart by divorce; homeschooling will give them far more stability and indivualized attention than any public or private school will, as long as you don't make it an issue.

In answer to your specific question, yes, it is not uncommon for children to not be reading at their age level by the end of first grade. Thousands of public schools produce non-readers regularly. Many homeschoolers take a relaxed approach to academics with young children; one of my dc was not reading at her age level until she was 9½, but she started taking classes at the community college when she was 14, and aced all them.

You could give your children's mother the link to this site, in case she has questions.

Also, it would be good for you to educate yourself on homeschooling. Mary Pride has written several good books on homeschooling, and there are many articles right here on her site; you could also look for Dr. Raymond Moore's books, and John Holt's "Teach Your Own."
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Grandmother to 1 sweet boy
Caretaker of 2 dear kitties, 1 French bulldog, 1 dachsund, and 3 budgies
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63125
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PostPosted: Wed Sep 05, 2012 6:03 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

I appreciate the reply ellie - and don't get me wrong I don't have an issue with homeschooling but rather I was getting worried at the apparent lack of progress my child seems to show. She is very bright, inquisitive and loves to learn so it seems to me that her learning is a bit out of sync with her natural tendency.

It is unsettling as a parent to be kept in the dark and have little feedback or have the opportunity to ask questions of a teacher or coordinator. I have read up on homeschooling and endorse it but what do you do when it doesn't appear to be working? Again my ex wife is not the most organized person in the world and doesn't appear to devote very much time to schooling beyond an hour or so a day. Again - is this normal and is this a sufficient amount of time to devote to schooling on a daily basis? I realize the child receives a great deal of 1 on 1 time being instructed but is a bare minimal amount (?) more beneficial than a regular school cirriculum?

I'm not trying to argue and appreciate the feedback but I'm skeptical that this arrangement is benefiting my child right now. I realize many children benefit from being home schooled but I tend to believe they receive more organized instruction time than my child is getting right now...
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elliemaejune
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PostPosted: Wed Sep 05, 2012 10:20 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Sometimes you cannot tell that it's "working" until many years later.

You cannot really tell what your ex is doing with your dd because you are not there all day. There's so much more to education than filling out workbook pages and being instructed by a teacher.

And I cannot tell, either, because I'm not talking to your wife. I'm getting a second-hand observation from someone who may have a tendancy to be hostile, right?

Again, I implore you to trust your child's mother. She cares about your daughter's education every bit as much as you do. How organized she may or many not be is irrelevant. Please do not make homeschooling an issue.

Perhaps if you were to be less pushy--and I feel your pushiness from the way you describe how you've grilled your dd on her knowledge of phonics, even though you might not think you were either "grilling" or pushing--your ex would be more open about what she's doing. Children often get their tongues tangled when being asked questions about spelling words when it's not in spelling "class." Smile
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Married to Mr. Ellie for over 30 years
Mother to 2 dds and 2 dsil
Grandmother to 1 sweet boy
Caretaker of 2 dear kitties, 1 French bulldog, 1 dachsund, and 3 budgies
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63125
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PostPosted: Thu Sep 06, 2012 5:52 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Quote:
I'm getting a second-hand observation from someone who may have a tendancy to be hostile, right?


Where on earth did you get an idea like that? Wrong - and on so many levels lady....

I think you have alot of nerve to spout off about my being 'pushy' and 'grilling' my daughter about the subjects she is currently studying. Some parents would call that discussion and being involved in your child's learning. Do you assume I perform some kind of punishment if she doesn't pass muster when I'm 'grilling' her? Nothing could be further from the truth....I don't know where you got that idea because I am not a hostile person. End of story. I'm not sure where you project this kind of paranoia from but it can't be a good place.

I don't care about grades, social standing, validating children via some kind of artificial ranking system nor 'grilling' them so I can feel good about their body of knowledge as you so 'elegantly' put it ellie...

What I did come into this forum hoping home-schooling wasn't some kind of rubber stamp given by xenophobic divorcee moms and was instead a structured alternative learning path that avoids the hang ups so many kids run into in the public and private school system.

And to top it all off - ellie you ask me to do precisely the same thing a parent does when he signs his kid off to go to public school. Just shut up and let someone else handle the well-being of your kid.

At this point ellie I'm alot more worried about your kids than mine. I have to say I found some answers on theis forum and I definitely don't like what I hear...
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elliemaejune
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PostPosted: Thu Sep 06, 2012 6:44 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

I'm sorry you feel this way.

I'm asking you to trust your child's mother, and to not make homeschooling an issue.

I only know your side of the story. I am trying not to give advice without hearing directly from the person who is doing the actual teaching.

I used the word "hostile" because that's what I'm seeing, albeit a very mild hostility (and your referring to me as "lady" seems to validate my judgment). Perhaps I erred; if so, I apologize. But my advice remains the same: don't make homeschooling an issue; trust your child's mother, who cares as much about your child's education as you do; be supportive by asking your ex if there's anything you can do to help, rather than second-guessing her methods, especially when we're talking about a 7-year-old child, the first month of school.
_________________
Married to Mr. Ellie for over 30 years
Mother to 2 dds and 2 dsil
Grandmother to 1 sweet boy
Caretaker of 2 dear kitties, 1 French bulldog, 1 dachsund, and 3 budgies
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JamBabyVA
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Joined: 26 Oct 2013
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PostPosted: Fri Dec 20, 2013 3:07 pm    Post subject: Re: Home schooling educational quality - is my child learnin Reply with quote

I think I understand where you are coming from on this issue. You don't have a problem with home school as long as your child is learning. I don't think there is one problem with that.

Have you talked to your ex wife about this? I think if you show interest in her day to day routine that would be appreciated. Do you know what program your ex wife is using? Maybe ask to do a subject or two with your daughter.

Education is not just a mother's right. You are her father and you do have the right to be interested in your child's education and progress. I think if you ask your ex more questions things will make more sense to you.

As for her progress, what you described sounds normal. Not all children learn quickly and reading can take some time. I think if you help your daughter when she is with you that will help too.
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