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No structure?

 
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5_2luv
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Joined: 13 Mar 2012
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PostPosted: Fri Mar 16, 2012 7:05 pm    Post subject: No structure? Reply with quote

Im new here & planning on homeschooling my son who is 6 in K who has been having issues with behavior & such at school. He is bored & not being challenged & his teacher is growing tired of his restlessness. I have been feeling more & more confident about my decision until today. Im not the type to let other peoples opinions influence me but I mentioned my intentions to a friend/neighbor who has a son in the same class & she said she thinks the structure public school gives is good for kids & I would be depriving him of that. The school here is a very good one & in the top 90th percentile for the nation in test scores & I do like most of the teachers. My reasons for wanting to homeschool him lie in the idea that I can spend more quality time with him & teach him things I think he needs to learn right now & cater more towards his learning style which public school cannot do. I know that my son is suffering right now & his needs are not being met at school. I know that my neighbor couldn't possibly know what's best for my son but I do question myself now. I want whats best for him & I do feel a bit overwhelmed right now.

My question is I don't want to make things as rigid as at public school but I want my son to take is seriously & have that structured learning setting. How have some of you done this? Please help.
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elliemaejune
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PostPosted: Fri Mar 16, 2012 8:59 pm    Post subject: Re: No structure? Reply with quote

I would expect a non-homeschooler to say that.

What is it you think a 6yo has to take seriously? He's just 6. He has no idea of the importance of learning to read and write and do arithmetic, and he doesn't need to understand in order to learn. He doesn't need to have a structured learning setting, either, if by that you mean anything that looks like the classroom you're taking him out of. Children learn all the time without ever having structured just-like-school time.

For the time being, when you get him home for good, my strongest recommendation is not to do anything that looks like school for several months. That doesn't mean you have to let him run wild; he should have a regular daily routine, including age-appropriate chores and meals and all that, and you can go to the library and the zoo and all that, but the truth is that it will take several months for you to reclaim what was lost during his time at school. He will probably not be ready for more structured learning until at least the fall. Really.

In the meantime, don't get advice from your neighbor. Read as many books on homeschooling as you can find, go to a homeschool convention if possible, and do some research on what kinds of instructional materials and methods you might use when he's ready.
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hscoach
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PostPosted: Fri Mar 16, 2012 11:26 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

You are right, you can definitely spend more quality time with your son and you will love it! And yes, you will be his best teacher because you are his mom and you know his needs better than anyone.

You know what is best for him. Your neighbor does not; teachers do not.

And yes, you can cater to his individual learning style.........which can never be done in a classroom of 25-30 students.

You will be able to have structure in your homeschool. That is not a problem. You can have structure and also have fun.

Don't worry about what your neighbor said. You may have some negative comments from people (even family or close friends) but remember, you are doing what you know is best for your son right now. You will look back with NO REGRETS. You will be so glad that you had the TIME with him. You will love homeschooling. After you get started, you will gain confidence and those negative comments will not bother you at all.

There is a good book you can read called How Children Learn by John Holt. You might be able to find it at your public library.

http://www.amazon.com/Children-Learn-Classics-Child-Development/dp/0201484048/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1331961786&sr=8-1
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5_2luv
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Joined: 13 Mar 2012
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PostPosted: Tue Mar 20, 2012 4:30 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Thank you. I am excited to get started but also a little intimidated. I'm not so worried about what she says I guess it just made me second guess myself. I'm suprised actually that my mom is supportive. She knows the problems he's had & I've struggled having any quality time with him so we both think this will help him get more mommy time. I have 5 kids so it's a chore balancing everything for everyone but I'm hoping to figure it out. There is a homeschooling expo in my area this week that I'm hoping to go to.

Last edited by 5_2luv on Tue Mar 20, 2012 11:08 pm; edited 1 time in total
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5_2luv
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PostPosted: Tue Mar 20, 2012 4:41 pm    Post subject: Re: No structure? Reply with quote

elliemaejune wrote:
I would expect a non-homeschooler to say that.

What is it you think a 6yo has to take seriously? He's just 6. He has no idea of the importance of learning to read and write and do arithmetic, and he doesn't need to understand in order to learn. He doesn't need to have a structured learning setting, either, if by that you mean anything that looks like the classroom you're taking him out of. Children learn all the time without ever having structured just-like-school time.

For the time being, when you get him home for good, my strongest recommendation is not to do anything that looks like school for several months. That doesn't mean you have to let him run wild; he should have a regular daily routine, including age-appropriate chores and meals and all that, and you can go to the library and the zoo and all that, but the truth is that it will take several months for you to reclaim what was lost during his time at school. He will probably not be ready for more structured learning until at least the fall. Really.

In the meantime, don't get advice from your neighbor. Read as many books on homeschooling as you can find, go to a homeschool convention if possible, and do some research on what kinds of instructional materials and methods you might use when he's ready.



Your'e right. He doesn't have to have the same structure as in a classroom and I know he can still learn. I guess for him it's kindof needed and he asks for it. He is easily bored and so if I don't keep him busy and know what's expected daily he will complain about being bored. I feel like he will like homeschooling once we get past what he expects from what he's experienced in public school. I guess trying to figure out how to do that while taking care of a one yr old & two yr old is what I'm trying to figure out. I already have plans to go to a homeschool expo this week (I got lucky it being right now & so close to me ! ) Right now I guess I am just trying to figure out what interests him and what his learning style is so it can be fun for him and he's learning at the same time.
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elliemaejune
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PostPosted: Tue Mar 20, 2012 5:16 pm    Post subject: Re: No structure? Reply with quote

Well, you specifically asked about getting him to take things "seriously." That's what I replied to, that I don't think a 6yo is capable of taking things "seriously." That isn't the same thing as looking for some kind of structure to your day.
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5_2luv
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PostPosted: Tue Mar 20, 2012 11:02 pm    Post subject: Re: No structure? Reply with quote

I'm sorry I was'nt more clear in what I was asking. I have been a jumble mix of questions since I made my mind up to do this & it looks like I've mixed several thoughts into one question. I was asking about him taking it more serously but I think my main thought was (supposed to be) about structuring our day. I thank you for your reply and I completely agree with him only bein 6 and being able to learn without the typical rigid school day. I was planning on a waiting period to really teach him material but he is bored even though we do other things to learn he wants me to teach him like "real" school but without so many worksheets. He prefers computer learning or hands on experiences.
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PSteacher
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PostPosted: Wed Apr 04, 2012 8:51 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

I am a teacher so let me set your neighbor straight on a couple things. The structure in school is for the teacher not the students. We don't have the luxury of moving ahead if your child gets it or stopping everything if he doesn't. We have 20 to 30 kids in our class and without structure it would be complete chaos. And not the fun, kids playing and having a good time kind of chaos, more like concern for the safety of the children chaos.

Structure is important for your child to learn if you expect him to work in a low paying job that doesn't require any thinking because he is told exactly what to do and how and when to do it. Jobs that pay well require someone that can prioritize, solve problems, manage resources and work autonomously. You don't learn that in the "structure" of public school. If you feel the decision is right for you and your child then it is right. Most people are very uncomfortable doing things differently than "everyone else".

Good Luck!
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5_2luv
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PostPosted: Fri Apr 06, 2012 11:50 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Thank you for your reply. That is very encouraging. I never really thought about it like that but you are right & I can completely see how the structure is required in public school & how it is not for the child. I have no problem doing things differently than everyone else, I pretty much live my life that way....haha. I did pull him out a couple of weeks ago & things are going great & he says he likes it. I'm enjoying it too.
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Emjay
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Joined: 18 Mar 2012
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PostPosted: Tue Apr 24, 2012 3:28 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Even "unschooling" can happen on a routine, if the child is the one who decides what he does and when. School isn't working well for you son so don't feel you have to recreate it at home, it is the fastest way to burn yourself out. As long as your son is having fun or is interested he is learning. Just being around you and his family he will learn so many life lessons that he'd probably never learn in school. It'll take time to get to know him again and to find out what does and doesn't work for your situation. Childhood is so short, try to keep it relaxed and fun. He'll have decades to take things seriously when he grown, which will be too soon. Best of luck on your journey.
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