How do I deal with my 8yr old son's behavior?

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How do I deal with my 8yr old son's behavior?

Postby douglisa » Thu Dec 18, 2008 5:54 pm

Recently he lost his best friend because he had to move to his fathers because of abuse. :cry: He understands that the friend is in a better home now and he is glad he is no longer being abused. I was the one that reported it, I do not think my son knows I did but he is taking it out on me big time.
He has been very moody and flat out refuses to do his work.
He has been yelling at me and being very disrespectful. Today I caught him in several lies but I feel so sorry for him that I did not punish him, just let him know I knew and that it hurt me. He apologized and cried. Today was a bit better than yesterday but he is very clingly and weepy.
While I know that it is because he is dealing with a loss it is still hard to deal with. Should I let up on schooling for a bit? If so how long? He is ahead on everything but math so it should not be too big a deal. I really need some advice. I know it was the right thing to report it but part of me feels guilty.
Thanks, Lisa

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Location: Hobart, Tasmania, Australia.

Postby Golabfamily » Fri Dec 19, 2008 5:19 am

Hi Lisa,

You definitely did the right thing reporting the abuse. Please do not feel guilty about this at all, your son could be upset about his friend moving away, but I am sure in time he will be grateful (as well as the friend) that you cared enough to help remove his friend from an ugly situation.

Personally at this time of year I would give away the Schooling aspect of life and do some fun things with your son. Focus on family fun time. Take him to so some things that he loves, ask him what he would like to do and let the school work slide. Once he starts to be more positive, start slipping in the school work again, until things get back to normal.

The grieving process is varied for each of us, but with time, patience and support from you and a little less pressure of schoolwork I am sure your son will be back on the right track soon.

I personally would keep assessing the situation, but would expect that the grieving could take anything from 4 to 8 weeks minimum to anything a lot longer, but in 4 weeks time if you have focused on family time, support and fun I am sure your son will be upbeat again.

Encourage your son to maybe ring his friend, write to him or if you can get together for a day outing, let him know that just because the friend has moved away does not mean they can not be in contact with each other and that they can still get together at times and email, write, phone at other times also.

I hope you find a way to get through this, for you and your son,

Take care

Regardless of how we each choose to educate our children, may they have the most wonderful and fulfilling educational experience possible.

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Postby douglisa » Fri Dec 19, 2008 6:27 am

Thank you, sounds good. We got almost 8 inches of snow last night, if the roads open up we might take his other friend sledding.

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