Ceili wrote:I'm going to admit right off the bat that I'm not a very scheduled, structured, or organized person. I do what I need to do, but I don't have a set time to do things (and I've been known to put a few things off now and then--but nothing really important and I do get to them in a reasonable time frame). My 11 yo son is very much a night owl and he comes alive at night. He's so happy, pleasant, clear-thinking and productive. I have no problem allowing him to stay up and read, do school work, play music, clean his room, etc. However, my husband has it in his head that it's "wrong"--he needs a "normal" schedule: go to bed early, get up early, have set times to do specific things, etc.
I'm pretty sure my husband thinks he needs to go to school so he can be on a schedule and have more structure in his life. I don't think that's the way to go, but I'm willing to implement more structure here. The problem is that I'm not naturally a structured person myself. I've tried to implement a schedule in the past, but I think I overwhelm ds with this sudden and detailed "schedule". He rejects it, fights it tooth and nail, and eventually things ease back into the way they were.
Does anyone have any suggestions on how I can ease into some more structure? Should I just have a set order or specific times for things? Should I start out with just two things a day that we must do at specific times and then add one thing each week or every two weeks?
Also, do you think you can change your circadian rhythm? If you shift the current bedtime by 15 minute intervals, will you eventually adjust?
Thanks for any help you can provide!
I let my kids stay up as late as they want. I'm a night owl. I have more energy at night.
Here are the rules:
They can't wake up anyone.
They have to be cheerful and pleasant when interacting with people.
They have to deal with all studies well, turn in work by 5:00 pm the day before it's due and deal with anything else outside the home on their schedule well. (They can't be tired or sick because they didn't get to bed at a good time. Anything below a B is not acceptable. Snapping at people also not acceptable.)
I wake them at noon each day.
I often work in the mornings and haven't missed any time with them because they are asleep.
My husband switches from days to nights. He gets a little pissy and self righteous when he is on days.
I make sure we get alone adult time.