Should I push her?

Preschool readiness skills (birth to age 5) and the common developmental concerns of young children.

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Sandy
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Should I push her?

Postby Sandy » Thu Aug 16, 2007 7:14 pm

My dd just turned 3 in July. I've backed off on my efforts to "school" her; we just read a lot and talk about letters, her name and her sister's name, etc. But now she's "pretending" to read and spell. Should I just continue to let her learn as she goes, or should I start working a little more formally with her? I have Little Hands to Heaven, which is for 2-5 year olds. I haven't used it yet. She doesn't really do well with anything "teachy", I guess I'd say. If I sit down with her and have a plan, it always seems to fail. She jumps up and grabs something else for us to look at :lol: . Not that that's bad, just way different from my personality (I'm the queen of The List). What are your thoughts? Thanks
Sandy

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seekingmyLord
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Re: Should I push her?

Postby seekingmyLord » Thu Aug 16, 2007 7:51 pm

Sandy wrote:My dd just turned 3 in July. I've backed off on my efforts to "school" her; we just read a lot and talk about letters, her name and her sister's name, etc. But now she's "pretending" to read and spell. Should I just continue to let her learn as she goes, or should I start working a little more formally with her? I have Little Hands to Heaven, which is for 2-5 year olds. I haven't used it yet. She doesn't really do well with anything "teachy", I guess I'd say. If I sit down with her and have a plan, it always seems to fail. She jumps up and grabs something else for us to look at :lol: . Not that that's bad, just way different from my personality (I'm the queen of The List). What are your thoughts? Thanks
Sandy

Most people will probably tell you that three is too young for anything formal, but every child is different. At that age, my daughter was ready to learn to read and she loved books so much that even when I turned on the TV (a rarity in my home), she would grab a stack of books and only look at the TV when something interest her.

However, if my daughter could not keep her attention on what was being shown to her, then I would not have pushed her. I would just periodically try every few weeks and do exercises that subtly train her to focus longer and make learning a game for her.

Ramona
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Re: Should I push her?

Postby Ramona » Fri Aug 17, 2007 7:10 pm

I don't think "pretending" to read and spell at age 3 is a bad thing. I would see no problem with my child doing that.

I too love lists! But I've learned to adapt to my kids in ways like the following:

You sit down with your planned lesson of the day, and she grabs another thing to look at with you. That's how you find out what today's real lesson plan is. :D You proceed to use whatever she selected to teach her something at her level.

Your planning has not failed.

Your planning has worked.

You are a mastermind!

HTH,
Ramona

laurabeth
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Postby laurabeth » Mon Aug 20, 2007 11:36 pm

As already stated, all children are different, and that being said you are the only one that knows whats best for sure. My opinion is this, at your dc's age you really do have 100% freedom to let her lead the way. You don't have to account to anyone about what she is doing, how she is progressing, etc. and because of that you can be 100% informal if thats what she wants and needs.

If I were you I would encourage any new material she wants to accept, but I wouldn't push it at all. Try many ways of teaching, try lots of materials (the web is a wonderful thing! I am a freebie queen lol) and see what she likes, what she wants. My dd hates and has always hated flash cards, my ds loves them, he asks to "play" with them.

The more materials you have available, from books to puzzles, to flash cards, etc the better. I cant believe how much quicker my ds has learned almost everything than my dd (2 1/2 yrs older than ds) did in part because he had more advanced "toys" around than she did at his age.

I am completely for pumping them with everything they will take while they are young and sponge like, as long as it isn't more than they can handle. Thats a big reason why I am homeschooling after my dd spent 3 years (2 in preK and 1 in K) doing great, but being board and wanting more. IMHO the bottom line for me is do anything and everything she leads you to do, there is more than enough time for the "we have to's later. If she stays loving it she will go much farther in the long run! :)

Hope this helps, and most of all enjoy it!

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Postby ncmom » Tue Aug 21, 2007 1:00 pm

When my daughter was that age she loved to pretend to read and write. I used to let her make my grocery list with me. I would tell her what we needed and she would draw a picture of it and write it her way then underneath of the picture I would print the word for her. Then when we were at the store she would "read" me the list. Although she wasn't reading anything except her picture the word was there for her to see.

I wouldn't push to much though you don't want to make learning an unpleasant experience. I feel like pre-k should be fun learning and I have always tried to find ways to use music and even videos to help my kids. My daughter learned all the days of the week, her months, and how to spell the basic colors using songs. They weren't hard songs but they were catchy. I still find myself and her singing them. She doesn't need them anymore we just like to sing them, they are fun songs.

gardening momma
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Re: Should I push her?

Postby gardening momma » Wed Aug 22, 2007 12:31 pm

Sandy wrote:My dd just turned 3 in July....... now she's "pretending" to read and spell. Should I just continue to let her learn as she goes, or should I start working a little more formally with her?..........She doesn't really do well with anything "teachy", I guess I'd say. If I sit down with her..........She jumps up and grabs something else for us to look at


I would definitely continue informally. Read a lot, talk about stuff, show her stuff. What animals does she like? Find out what they eat (maybe avoid discussion of carnivorous eating habits for now). I just found out for my daughter that hippopotamuses love to eat grass (she wanted to know what rabbits, hippopotamuses and dogs eat).

Keep it simple. My daughter (will be 4 in Oct) asks me questions, and after I try to answer correctly, she informs me of what the right answer is...today's example: Daughter: "How does the van get dirty?" Me: "it's from driving and from the dust in the air." Daughter: "what else?" Me: "I don't know, how?" Daughter: "Dirt!" Of course. I should have known.

StellarStory
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Postby StellarStory » Sat Aug 25, 2007 8:28 pm

Pretending to read and write is a normal developmental thing kids do at a certain age.

I would caution anyone about pushing a child to formal education too young. You can try things but if she turns away with it, I'd back off. Children pushed before they are truly ready tend to resist learning later. It can ruin them on some things.

When my daughter was three she wanted to learn to read really badly, or so she said. I began to teach her but she soon found she didn't like it. I backed off. When she was ready she embraced it eagerly.

OTOH, some people pushed things on her before she was ready. Those things have been totally ruined for her.

Things like the Nancy Drew books that I loved were pushed on her too early. She had the whole series bought for her and forced on her. The poor child had to carry a dictionary to try to figure out the "hard" words. Now some would have been fine with it, but she was frustrated and angry.

Chess was also pushed on her waaaay too early by someone. I was a big chess player who not only enjoyed the game but was good enough for the high school team. She won't play at all now.

She could have loved both those things if well meaning people had not have pushed her in them before she was ready. This sort of thing makes me so sad and angry to see.

Kids should learn naturally as they are ready to do so not on a calendar or someone's accelerated dreams of what they want a child to be, yanno?

Babydoop
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Consistency is the key...

Postby Babydoop » Thu Oct 11, 2007 2:42 pm

Hi! I don't know...as someone once told me: Push them now, or Push them later! I rather like that, and with all the academic demands on our kids these days, it holds a lot of truth!!

I would introduce (not push) for a few minutes every day. I would find really colorful books, or ABC cards (or whatever) about subjects she LOVES for beginners. I think the key is to use tools that GRAB her attention and keep it long enough for you to explain - just keep it short and be consistent! The dollar stores have tons of educational stuff for cheap!! And she won't get bored if you rotate your material!!

Let her know how important letters, numbers or reading are...and make it a priority every day, even for only 5 minutes. Make it fun! We used stickers. After each lesson my dd got to put a sticker on the wall and we both screamed YEAHHHHH! So she really enjoyed that.

I started with my dd at a really young age (18mo), so I guess I am the princess of push...but she has really responded well. She's 4 now and can read, write, count...we are working on basic math. Don't get me wrong, we still have issues to work on, like sitting still and listening, which I'm praying she will mature on very soon!

Even when my daughter resisted, I insisted that we have our 15, 5, 10 minutes of homework, but I tried to make sure she was fed, rested...

All in all, consistency is key...we did a letter/number a month. I posted it all over the house. I wanted to be sure she really had it.

I devoted a year teach letters, numbers shapes and colors, and by the end of that year she was really familiar with the information. We have to review maybe once a month the basics, so she doesn't forget what she's learned.

I could go on and on. Let me know if you want more info... My daughter was reading at 2 and knew her numbers, shapes and colors. It was hard work, but that foundation has been laid, and now we will build from there.

Good luck!
Jesus is Lord!

Sandy
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Postby Sandy » Thu Oct 11, 2007 7:50 pm

Well, things are going well! We spend about 1/2 hour a day having "school". She asks me for it, wants to do more when we are finished. I'm so motivated by her excitement!!! I'm learning so much about myself, too. Overall, I think I made the right choice, although sometimes I still have doubts. I worry that I'm teaching her the letters and the sounds they make in a way that will forever stunt her ability to read. But, I think we're doing well. If nothing else, I'm learning valuable lessons for the upcoming years. Thanks for all of your comments.
Sandy

Babydoop
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Postby Babydoop » Thu Oct 11, 2007 8:04 pm

Sandy!
Good for you!!
I once heard a retired teacher at an educational store say that children needed the "introduction" to the basic skills. Even if they don't get it a hundred percent, at least it won't be their first time SEEING the material. (That's one reason why I am introducing my daughter to math so early.)
I was always a good reader, but not too good in math - in college I struggled with my higher level math courses...SO, I don't want my daughter to have that "fear" of numbers/math like I did.

I figure if she sees it enough, eventually she will grasp on to what is going on...it takes time!

Chow!
Jesus is Lord!


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