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experiences with homeschooling and socialization
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StellarStory
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Joined: 15 Apr 2007
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PostPosted: Wed Jul 18, 2007 9:55 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Oops! Messed up my edit somehow so that the post, posted again.

Thanks for the well said!
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lisalinnay
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Joined: 14 Jul 2007
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PostPosted: Wed Jul 18, 2007 10:13 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

I've edited my post also. The well said was for Seekingmylord. I hadn't seen your post yet. Sorry.
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and I will walk in your truth. . .


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StellarStory
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PostPosted: Wed Jul 18, 2007 10:45 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

*chuckles*

Oh well.
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seekingmyLord
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Joined: 04 Jul 2007
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Location: Standing in the radiance of His glory.

PostPosted: Wed Jul 18, 2007 12:28 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

StellarStory wrote:
I understand what you are saying. I just disagree that what people value about a person is what makes them stick out like a sore thumb. That is actually how people discount you and/or degrade you if the first thing they know about you is that you are weird.

I disagree that fitting in must also compromise ones values. That is simply not true for me though it maybe for some. Being inflexible is not a positive trait for anyone I know.

I do agree that everyone gets involved with someone because it benefits them in some way. The more negative view would be, "I'm being used. They want something from me." I prefer to see it as we all enhance or detract from each other in life. That's why we have relationships. I choose the ones that life me up. I like doing that for others.

For some, there is no escaping some feature that will "stick out like a sore thumb" to others. With that thought in mind, I can see that would be quite painful for any person who relies on the acceptance of other people as a measure of their own self worth, but it has been my experience that people who use the obvious to degrade another has bigger issues, not so obvious to the eye, from which those people need to heal.
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lisalinnay
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PostPosted: Wed Jul 18, 2007 12:39 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Again, SeekingMyLord, very well said. Exclamation
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Psalm 86:11 Teach me your way, O Lord,
and I will walk in your truth. . .


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StellarStory
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PostPosted: Wed Jul 18, 2007 12:57 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Getting along in this world isn't quite so black and white in my experience.

I won't say that other people's opinions don't matter to me at all. I will say I choose the people that I do care what their opinions are. I don't care what everyone thinks particularly.

I will also say, it helps to be able to fit in if you want to get along in this world or even make changes. These ideas to me, are only reasonable and realistic in this world.

If you think there is no reason to fit in or any reason to ever compromise anything than, yes, I can see why socialization would be a much bigger issue.


Last edited by StellarStory on Wed Jul 18, 2007 1:55 pm; edited 1 time in total
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lisalinnay
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PostPosted: Wed Jul 18, 2007 1:12 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

I guess that's one of the biggest differences between people who are "of this world" and those who realize they are just "in it". This world and society are not all there is for us. When you realize that this world and everything of it is temporary and just a piece of the puzzle and see the greater picture which is so infinitely huge we can't comprehend, you might begin to understand.
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and I will walk in your truth. . .


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seekingmyLord
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PostPosted: Wed Jul 18, 2007 1:30 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

StellarStory wrote:
Getting along in this world isn't quite so black and white in my experience.

I won't say that other people's opinions don't matter to me at all. I will say I choose the people that I do care what their opinions are. I don't care what everyone thinks particularly.

I will also say, it helps to be able to fit in if you want to get along in this world or even make changes. These ideas to me, are only reasonable and realistic in this world.

If you think there is no reason to fit in or any reason to every compromise anything than, yes, I can see why socialization would be a much bigger issue.

How so?
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StellarStory
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PostPosted: Wed Jul 18, 2007 1:59 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

lisalinnay wrote:
I guess that's one of the biggest differences between people who are "of this world" and those who realize they are just "in it". This world and society are not all there is for us. When you realize that this world and everything of it is temporary and just a piece of the puzzle and see the greater picture which is so infinitely huge we can't comprehend, you might begin to understand.


So, we should be deliberately strange to others, deliberately cause our own suffering, martyr-like in this world because we get to go to heaven. Is that what you are saying? I personally do not agree that this is wise or necessary.

seekingmyLord wrote:
[How so?


How so? Because you are causing your own socialization problems with your attitude if you do this.
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lisalinnay
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PostPosted: Wed Jul 18, 2007 3:02 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

God doesn't make mistakes. People do. God made each of us to be unique individuals for his purpose - the greater good. If we are our true self and something about that seems strange to another, then so be it. All you have to do is dig deep within your true self - your soul (if you can find it underneath all of the societal rubble) and let your true self shine.

If you give up your ideas of fitting in and "making yourself happy", you'll find that the One who made you will show you greater joy than you can imagine.

I caused all of my own suffering, which I miserably suffered daily, when I thought and lived like you do. When I finally let go of all falseness and found the truth within, that's when God showed me incredible joy and peace which I experience every day.

You personally don't agree with my statements because you simply won't let yourself get it.

Furthermore, I personally don't have socialization problems and neither do my children. We are well liked for who we are, and any (very very few) who don't like us tend to be afraid of the truth. We find that in general, people appreciate us because we are real, true, and honest.
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Psalm 86:11 Teach me your way, O Lord,
and I will walk in your truth. . .


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StellarStory
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PostPosted: Wed Jul 18, 2007 3:08 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

I think you don't agree with MY statements because YOU don't "get it."

My kids and I also have no socialization problems.

There is no "falseness" involved with me. Clearly, you were not living like me at all. Yes, I am very happy if that is a sin, so be it.

*shrug*

I may not agree with you but I will defend your rights to say and live as you please, no matter what.
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seekingmyLord
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PostPosted: Wed Jul 18, 2007 5:22 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

StellarStory wrote:
How so? Because you are causing your own socialization problems with your attitude if you do this.

Have I shown you any disrespect or disregard for you as a person?

I have genuinely been interested in all that you have shared, your thoughts and your life, even your lifestyle. All these things you shared openly and willingly without anyone forcing you to reveal anything, yet you took my inquisitiveness about the things you shared as something that made you feel defensive. At the same time, you have not yet even asked one question about myself or my thoughts. From what I see, most of what you think of me is based on assumptions that I have socialization issues...so, I ask what has been so wrong with my attitude towards you?
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StellarStory
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PostPosted: Wed Jul 18, 2007 5:50 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

seekingmyLord wrote:
StellarStory wrote:
How so? Because you are causing your own socialization problems with your attitude if you do this.

Have I shown you any disrespect or disregard for you as a person?

I have genuinely been interested in all that you have shared, your thoughts and your life, even your lifestyle. All these things you shared openly and willingly without anyone forcing you to reveal anything, yet you took my inquisitiveness about the things you shared as something that made you feel defensive. At the same time, you have not yet even asked one question about myself or my thoughts. From what I see most of what you think of me is based on assumptions that I have socialization issues...so, I ask what has been so wrong with my attitude towards you?


Thank you for saying you've been genuinely interested. You are very correct that I've done so willingly. That's the way I am, very open and willing to share.

I have felt a bit attacked and misunderstood by several of the things you and lisalinnay have posted. The way questions or points were worded seemed that way to me at times.

Yes, those things did make me feel defensive. It's clear to me that we will mostly just have to agree to disagree. I'm more than willing to do that.

In my post 213, on page two, I did ask you a question or two not that I'm required to do so but yes, I was curious. I don't think you responded.

At that time, I will admit, I was thinking you were also the OP. So I'll cop to some confusion there.

I didn't understand the OP's POV or reason for posting at all. It seemed pretty jumbled to me. It seemed like she was unhappy with socialization regardless and I couldn't tell if she were currently home schooling or not. I'd like to understand what she meant though. I really would.

I don't think I've ever found anyone in home schooling that felt as hostile to me by way of pointed questioning of my opinions, views and experiences as you and lisalinnay have seemed. This surprises me. Clearly I have an entirely different view of things than you two, who seem to agree but I can live and let live.

I don't think there is a clear consensus of what the majority of home schoolers or public schoolers experience, think, or feel about these issues that would say, I was wrong or vice versa. If there is I'd like to see it and the evidence for it. I still am going to feel the way I do, as, I'm sure, you and lisalinnay will.
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seekingmyLord
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PostPosted: Wed Jul 18, 2007 6:07 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

StellarStory wrote:

In my post 213, on page two, I did ask you a question or two not that I'm required to do so but yes, I was curious. I don't think you responded.

Maybe you could point them out again for me.

I do remember you did ask a few questions, in a long post, to back up some things I said about homeschoolers in general, I believe. I did not answer for two reasons:
One, I believe that the information is common knowledge and easily acquired with a google search.
Two, you were already mentioning you felt you were being attacked and I did not wish to add to your distress.
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StellarStory
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PostPosted: Wed Jul 18, 2007 6:09 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

So I'm wrong if I don't ask questions and if I do? Also if I google I will "know" your POV?

Okay.
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