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Is pridefulness a problem among hser's?
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Sandy
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Joined: 19 Nov 2006
Posts: 33
Location: MN

PostPosted: Sat Jun 23, 2007 8:55 pm    Post subject: Is pridefulness a problem among hser's? Reply with quote

I met someone today who made me think about this. I believe I have been prideful. I don't know very many hser's; all of the people I'm close to send their kids to public school. In the very depths of my heart, I have the feeling of being a bit "above", caring more and being willing to work more for the souls of my children than "typical" paremts. I didn't realize how much I feel this way. I'll be working this out with the Lord (prayers from anyone here would be appreciated). But do any of you struggle with this attitude?
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Lenethren
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Joined: 03 Sep 2006
Posts: 172
Location: Okanagan, BC, Canada

PostPosted: Sat Jun 23, 2007 11:00 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Wow. This question made me stop and think. I do feel that way sometimes. I'm not sure it's about homeschooling for me though. I often babysit kids which are neglected and I recently took courses in becoming a foster parent to help make a bigger difference in these kids lives. And yes I often feel like I'm putting more into being a parent than most people I know. Perhaps this is a life lesson is learning to not judge others...hmmmm...food for thought. Thanks for bringing this up.
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frogguruami
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Joined: 23 May 2007
Posts: 56
Location: Florida

PostPosted: Sun Jun 24, 2007 9:23 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

I feel I have put a great deal of thought into how my children learn and what is best for them. I have also put a great deal of thought into what I feel is wrong with the public school system. I have distinct beliefs regarding education and raising children. I am not afraid to discuss these beliefs with anyone that asks.

However, I do not feel that I am better than PS parents. I feel I am making a better choice for my children by homeschooling them but I am not better than other people that don't make the same choice. I think most parents make the best choice they can for their children in their given situation.

I do not impose my personal beliefs on other people. I will discuss them if asked. But my beliefs are no more or less correct than anyone elses.
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StellarStory
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Joined: 15 Apr 2007
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PostPosted: Mon Jun 25, 2007 7:12 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

I try not to judge others. I too tend to think most people do the best they can given their knowledge, disposition and resources.

Last edited by StellarStory on Tue Jul 03, 2007 3:21 pm; edited 1 time in total
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Calla_Dragon
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Joined: 22 Jan 2007
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PostPosted: Mon Jun 25, 2007 8:42 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

I don't normally give a lot of thought to what others do. I figure they're grown ups and can make their own decisions and if they can't, I can't help them anyway. I chose homeschooling because it's the best for my family and I think it's the best way to give my kids the best start I can.

The only time when I run into issues is when someone jumps down my throat about homeschooling.

I'm proud to be a homeschooler and I won't feel guilty about that. I don't think that translates into pridefullness.
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Redhead
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Joined: 10 Jan 2007
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Location: DFW, Texas

PostPosted: Tue Jul 03, 2007 2:37 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

I personally feel like every person should be allowed to pursue the course of education for their child that they feel is best for their family--- whether it's homeschool, private school, or public school.

I will say, though, that all the arrogance I've personally had to endure has, in fact, come from homeschoolers. I've had to deal with people who think I shouldn't be using a formal curriculum for my preschoolers; they should be playing and I should spend all my time surfing the net for all the free stuff and putting something together from that. I can't even begin to say how disrespectfully I've been spoken to by other homeschool parents who seem to think they know what's best for every child on the planet.

I've also seen an inordinate amount of school bashing on homeschool forums, which I've always felt was inappropriate. It's one thing to explain why---from one's own personal experiences--- a person has chosen homeschooling over public or private; it's another thing entirely to just throw all teachers, schools, and students into one lump bucket and say they all stink. I don't like it when people take that snotty attitude with homeschooling, and it's no more attractive when I see it come from homeschoolers about formal schools.

So, yeah, I do think some homeschoolers are arrogant--- and so are some private school and public school parents. I think we'd all do well to remember that our goal should be to see every child succeed in terms of getting a good education and be supportive to that end.
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"Education without values, as useful as it is, seems rather to make man a more clever devil." C.S. Lewis
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momo3boys
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Joined: 14 Feb 2006
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PostPosted: Tue Jul 03, 2007 3:38 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Ouch, I need to do some serious repenting. I don't think that PS is the worst thing to do, but there are some children that I see that I KNOW would hugely benefit from HS and their parents aren't willing to even think about it for what ever reasons. That is when I get Judgmental. That is a reason to repent. Embarassed
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seekingmyLord
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Joined: 04 Jul 2007
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Location: Standing in the radiance of His glory.

PostPosted: Wed Jul 04, 2007 5:14 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

I have a friend who is a piano teacher. She teaches public, private, and home schooled children. She has talked with me about this. However, whenever she uses an example she nearly always refers to one particular family and even mentions how the other homeschool children don't like that family's attitude.

How is in your heart? Are you purposely trying to look superior or make the other person seem inferior, or are you just enthusiastic about what you are doing?

When I watch my daughter practice a piano piece for weeks to play in a recital that takes less than a minute to perform... Yeah, I am proud of her, because I know how much work and perservance it took to get there. I, also, take some pride in myself for---or am I enthusiastic about?--helping her reach that goal and look forward to the next one.

Likewise, I am proud of--enthusiastic toward--homeschooling. I work at it! If I had a teaching job outside of my home, most people would think it is okay if I took pride in my job. Our jobs as homeschoolers are not really that visible to outsiders, so I think some people do go overboard with proving themselves (acting superior and prideful) to everyone when it comes to homeschooling, but I don't see the problem with having some pride--enthusiasm--in the work you are doing every day.
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StellarStory
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Joined: 15 Apr 2007
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PostPosted: Wed Jul 04, 2007 9:10 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

I think there is a difference between being enthusiastic of what you are doing and putting others down because their way isn't the same as yours. You could call it pride but some pride is not wrong in my book.
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seekingmyLord
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Joined: 04 Jul 2007
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Location: Standing in the radiance of His glory.

PostPosted: Thu Jul 05, 2007 5:44 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Let's face it, the idea of homeschooling has always grated on others who are doing the conventional thing. For whatever reasons we may have, we have chosen a path less traveled. In the process of educating our children, we also educate ourselves beyond what the average parent does or ever needs to do.

Yet, we still get looked at like we are rebellious hippies, potential terrorists, cultists, or some other fringe group, which some most definitely are, but now that homeschooling has also become a modern exodus movement out from the public schools popular among conservative Christians... well, a new flavor was added to the list: elitism.


Fueled by studies showing higher test scores in general, homeschooling has also become a badge of honor for exceptional parenting above and beyond the call of duty.

Are we proud of homeschooling? Absolutely!

However, I think we all should be aware that homeschooling can be perceived as a put down just because we do it. There are always going to be people looking for flaws in it and in the people who do it. Saying homeschoolers, in general, are prideful can be just an easy sucker punch to knock you down to the level of stature these people feel when they are measuring their own life against one of a homeschooler.


Bottom line, if we take pride in homeschooling our own children, really spending quality and quantity time with them, that the other parents are not doing, we must think we are better than they are, but what may really be happening is that they feel their lives are inferior in comparison. Because they feel inferior, we must have been acting prideful...?

As I said, it is what is in your own heart. I don't know what is in yours, but I do know that the accusation of being prideful can be misunderstood and misused. I believe there are some haughty homeschoolers--we are a diverse group!--however I also think that the majority of us have experienced the benefits of homeschooling, so when we see another family struggling... of course, we are going to think how homeschooling might improve that situation! That is not pride, that is the the ability to assess challenges and the desire to teach. You would not be a homeschooling parent, if you did not have these traits in you.
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momo3boys
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PostPosted: Thu Jul 05, 2007 7:18 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

I was just wondering "seeking my Lord" the story behind your signature. I was wondering why the judge said what she said. was she referring to a certain case? Just curious.
"Parents give up their rights when they drop the children off at public school." -- Melinda Harmon, Federal Judge, 1996
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seekingmyLord
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Location: Standing in the radiance of His glory.

PostPosted: Thu Jul 05, 2007 3:49 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

momo3boys wrote:
I was just wondering "seeking my Lord" the story behind your signature. I was wondering why the judge said what she said. was she referring to a certain case? Just curious.
"Parents give up their rights when they drop the children off at public school." -- Melinda Harmon, Federal Judge, 1996

So that we don't derail this topic, I will start a new one on that subject.
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janw1256
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Joined: 29 Aug 2007
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PostPosted: Fri Aug 31, 2007 2:32 pm    Post subject: Homeschooling Problems Reply with quote

I agree that Homeschoolers can be prideful. I don't think that is a reason to stop homeschooling, but I think it is something to be addressed. It seems like some homeschoolers are unsure of themselves and become prideful/stuckup b/c of it. I think that the issues in homeschooling need to be discussed, not to shut it down, but to improve it. I mean, let's face it, homeschooling has lots of problems and if we don't talk about them and instead spend all of our time defending homeschooling as an institution, they will never go away.
So, why are some homeschoolers prideful? How can they become less prideful? Is it b/c some homeschoolers don't honor the government and people in public schools? Is it b/c homeschoolers have lost a sense of community and are stricken for socialization?
I feel for homeschoolers b/c I was one and knew a lot. I met their problems and sometimes I feel that if they had gone to a school with community that they wouldn't have suffered so. I knew a homeschooler that tried to commit suicide. I knew a homeschooler family that controlled every single move their children made and even told them where to go to college as adults. I knew a huge homeschool family where several of the children fell behind in school and social development b/c their mother could not give them all the attention they needed. I knew a homeschooler that found out in her twenties that she had been living with profound one-sided deafness all her life and had many mental issues to deal with. I knew numerous homeschoolers that suffered from depression and social-maladaption. I knew homeschoolers that were enrolled in public high school and went wild - they started drinking and doing drugs. Of those that I knew, one of them was killed in a drunk-driving accident. These kids attended church and had homeschool friends, yet their problems were not addressed in their youth. And, their parents were some of the kindest people you would meet. I love these people and am troubled by what happened to them.
But, I think that homeschooling can work, yet it has many bugs that need to be fixed. Out of 10 families that I knew well whom homeschooled, 3 of them successfully homeschooled. Their children are well-adjusted socially and academically now as adults. So, I am all for discussing problems in homeschooling and parents searching their hearts to try to realize why they are homeschooling and if their children are truly successful academically and socially. And, for all you out there who homeschool, get to know everyone in your community who homeschools and really get to know each other. Please don't let your children suffer needlessly.
Jan


Last edited by janw1256 on Fri Aug 31, 2007 5:14 pm; edited 1 time in total
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StellarStory
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PostPosted: Fri Aug 31, 2007 4:18 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Some of the most screwed up kids I see public, private or homeschool have some of the "nicest" parents. There is a reason for that.
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Theodore
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PostPosted: Fri Aug 31, 2007 6:16 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

If you're too "nice", your kids never get sufficiently punished for anything they do wrong, resulting in a total lack of respect and your kids turning out to be little monsters. It's just as bad as being too harsh.
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