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Confidence Issues

 
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momofone
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Joined: 19 Apr 2007
Posts: 38
Location: NJ

PostPosted: Wed Apr 25, 2007 1:11 pm    Post subject: Confidence Issues Reply with quote

Has anyone had confidence issues in regards to missing something in the curriculum (such as not doing synonyms and antonyms or something) and scarring the child for life? I am being dramatic yes, but it is a concern. Hoping those of you that have been through this could share your experience and how you got over it, if ever.
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Theodore
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Joined: 06 Oct 2005
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PostPosted: Wed Apr 25, 2007 3:21 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Your child shouldn't be scarred for life. Homeschooling teaches you how to learn, and you can pick up anything you missed fairly quickly later on. I don't think I ever had formal instruction in synonyms or antonyms, all that becomes pretty obvious after your thousandth book or so Smile
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novo4
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Joined: 22 Apr 2007
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PostPosted: Wed Apr 25, 2007 3:47 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

I am feeling the same way that you are, which is why I am still slightly hesitant to pull them from public schools and home school instead. Your not alone Smile
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Calla_Dragon
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Joined: 22 Jan 2007
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PostPosted: Wed Apr 25, 2007 9:31 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

You taught them to walk, talk, eat using utensils, and how to use the toilet. You likely taught them how to count, their letters, their colors and shapes, you showed them how the world around them works and how to interact with it. You faced challenges and unexpected issues as a parent and you worked to come up with solutions. You've gotten them this far, why do you all of a sudden think you're not qualified to bring them all the way to adulthood?

We're taught as parents to raise our kids to a certain age and then turn them over the "experts" because we're not "qualified" to teach our own kids. That's just a way to make themselves seem important and necessary. Public schools are there for parents who choose to use them, but they are not the end all, be all of educational options. Look at the test scores and illiteracy rates coming out of these schools. I think you'd have to be trying really hard to do a worse job than the public schools are doing.

We've all had times when we've thought to ourselves "What have I done?! What am I doing?!" It happens to new homeschoolers and it happens to veteran homeschoolers. There will be good days and bad days just like with anything else. I've been homeschooling for 4 years and I still have some days where I think to myself "I must be crazy to be doing this!" That's when you take the day off, go to the zoo, have some fun and blow off some steam and start again tomorrow. You can do that as a homeschooler - it's ok......really! Wink

Don't let anyone tell you you're not qualified to teach your child. You're their mother, you know them better than anyone else and that alone makes you the most qualified person on the planet to teach them. Problems will come up and you will find a way to solve them. You will face challenges and you'll find a way to overcome them just like you did when they were younger. You have lots of help here so come, ask questions, vent frustrations, and have fun! We're all here to help one another!

Hope that helps! Smile
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Cally
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Joined: 28 Jan 2007
Posts: 14

PostPosted: Wed Apr 25, 2007 10:25 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

I can see where you are coming from. I think one of the most important things to teach is "how to learn." If your child has that golden egg he/she will never be afraid to go after whatever they want to learn. I don't believe any school can teach that....I learned that from my parents.

An example from my life. I never had an interest in math at all! I took the easiest courses possible in high school. No algebra! When I went to college they put me in college algebra. I felt like I landed in a foreign country where they didn't speak english. I went to my little sister for help. She taught me everything I needed to know and they didn't put me back into a pre-algebra class. It wasn't easy but I knew the most important thing was to just keep trying.

An example from my sisters life. When my sister was in college she had a professor who was always taking them on field trips. She missed her english class more than once and they were studying Shakespeare plays. The english teacher was supposed to take time to show her what she missed. But she refused. She came to me for help because she had to write a paper on Hamlet and all they did was watch the movie. She missed the main discussion in english class. We did two thing we found a book that tells the story of Shakespeare plays for children, in plain english. And we found her a forum/message board on the internet of an english class studying the play. A whole other university across the country. Those two things helped her learn more than enough to write her paper and get an A.

My point being: teaching "how to learn" will be the one thing you don't want to miss! I never will forget after I learned to read my dad said to me: Now that you know how to read. The world is yours, you can learn anything you want to learn! And learn I did!

Very Happy
Cally
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su
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Joined: 14 Jul 2006
Posts: 31
Location: Oregon

PostPosted: Wed Apr 25, 2007 10:33 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Well said, Calla Dragon!
As for missing things, I have concerned myself with that at times (I've been at this for 10 years), but find I ought not to worry. One thing I do use is test prep books. Here in Oregon, we have to test in 3rd, 5th, 8th, and 10th grades, so when testing time comes up, that is when I wonder if I'm covering "what I should be covering". Using the test prep books at this time shows me if I have covered what they will be tested on. Really, it's not that hard!
But (as I need to remind myself regularly) there is so much more to homeschooling than what is covered on the tests! There is love of learning and reading. There is character training. There is family building. There are many more things that a child gets from homeschooling that they don't get from being cooped up in a classroom with 30 other kids for 7-8 hours a day!
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momofone
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Joined: 19 Apr 2007
Posts: 38
Location: NJ

PostPosted: Thu Apr 26, 2007 6:39 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Theodore wrote:
Your child shouldn't be scarred for life. Homeschooling teaches you how to learn, and you can pick up anything you missed fairly quickly later on. I don't think I ever had formal instruction in synonyms or antonyms, all that becomes pretty obvious after your thousandth book or so Smile




Very true. Thanks!
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momofone
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Joined: 19 Apr 2007
Posts: 38
Location: NJ

PostPosted: Thu Apr 26, 2007 6:43 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

novo4 wrote:
I am feeling the same way that you are, which is why I am still slightly hesitant to pull them from public schools and home school instead. Your not alone Smile



Glad to hear it, but sorry you are going through the same thing. I know we will do this in the end, because I have always gone against the grain, never with the crowd. It was always just me, so I didn't care what people thought. I guess with it being my child now, like I said, scarring him for life. I have heard people say that they send their kids to school so they don't miss their prom. That concerns me, but I honestly feel the argument on that is realistic.... I did prom just to say I did it, it wasn't life changing. I have gotten off track, sorry. LOL Hang in there and maybe we can get through this together. Very Happy
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momofone
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Joined: 19 Apr 2007
Posts: 38
Location: NJ

PostPosted: Thu Apr 26, 2007 6:44 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Calla_Dragon wrote:
You taught them to walk, talk, eat using utensils, and how to use the toilet. You likely taught them how to count, their letters, their colors and shapes, you showed them how the world around them works and how to interact with it. You faced challenges and unexpected issues as a parent and you worked to come up with solutions. You've gotten them this far, why do you all of a sudden think you're not qualified to bring them all the way to adulthood?

We're taught as parents to raise our kids to a certain age and then turn them over the "experts" because we're not "qualified" to teach our own kids. That's just a way to make themselves seem important and necessary. Public schools are there for parents who choose to use them, but they are not the end all, be all of educational options. Look at the test scores and illiteracy rates coming out of these schools. I think you'd have to be trying really hard to do a worse job than the public schools are doing.

We've all had times when we've thought to ourselves "What have I done?! What am I doing?!" It happens to new homeschoolers and it happens to veteran homeschoolers. There will be good days and bad days just like with anything else. I've been homeschooling for 4 years and I still have some days where I think to myself "I must be crazy to be doing this!" That's when you take the day off, go to the zoo, have some fun and blow off some steam and start again tomorrow. You can do that as a homeschooler - it's ok......really! Wink

Don't let anyone tell you you're not qualified to teach your child. You're their mother, you know them better than anyone else and that alone makes you the most qualified person on the planet to teach them. Problems will come up and you will find a way to solve them. You will face challenges and you'll find a way to overcome them just like you did when they were younger. You have lots of help here so come, ask questions, vent frustrations, and have fun! We're all here to help one another!

Hope that helps! Smile


Thank you. That really helps. This community is great and I am so glad I found you all.
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momofone
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Joined: 19 Apr 2007
Posts: 38
Location: NJ

PostPosted: Thu Apr 26, 2007 6:52 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Cally wrote:
I can see where you are coming from. I think one of the most important things to teach is "how to learn." If your child has that golden egg he/she will never be afraid to go after whatever they want to learn. I don't believe any school can teach that....I learned that from my parents.

An example from my life. I never had an interest in math at all! I took the easiest courses possible in high school. No algebra! When I went to college they put me in college algebra. I felt like I landed in a foreign country where they didn't speak english. I went to my little sister for help. She taught me everything I needed to know and they didn't put me back into a pre-algebra class. It wasn't easy but I knew the most important thing was to just keep trying.

An example from my sisters life. When my sister was in college she had a professor who was always taking them on field trips. She missed her english class more than once and they were studying Shakespeare plays. The english teacher was supposed to take time to show her what she missed. But she refused. She came to me for help because she had to write a paper on Hamlet and all they did was watch the movie. She missed the main discussion in english class. We did two thing we found a book that tells the story of Shakespeare plays for children, in plain english. And we found her a forum/message board on the internet of an english class studying the play. A whole other university across the country. Those two things helped her learn more than enough to write her paper and get an A.

My point being: teaching "how to learn" will be the one thing you don't want to miss! I never will forget after I learned to read my dad said to me: Now that you know how to read. The world is yours, you can learn anything you want to learn! And learn I did!

Very Happy
Cally



Makes total sense. Nobody can know it all and as you said, if it comes up in life, it can easily be covered. I remember back in the day when I was in class and was totally baffled by the lesson. You were a loser if you asked questions and so test time came and I failed it. The teacher doesn't take you aside and go over it again with you... they move on. People have such great experiences in school and then assume it's the person that makes the experience. Even if that is so, the violence alone has me convinced we should do this. People will say that if your time is up, that is it... no matter what you do. Yeah, even if I agree with that, I am not going to give my child a push into a known war zone either. Even in a car, you teach them to use their seat belt!

Thanks. Wink
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momofone
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Joined: 19 Apr 2007
Posts: 38
Location: NJ

PostPosted: Thu Apr 26, 2007 6:54 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

su wrote:
Well said, Calla Dragon!
As for missing things, I have concerned myself with that at times (I've been at this for 10 years), but find I ought not to worry. One thing I do use is test prep books. Here in Oregon, we have to test in 3rd, 5th, 8th, and 10th grades, so when testing time comes up, that is when I wonder if I'm covering "what I should be covering". Using the test prep books at this time shows me if I have covered what they will be tested on. Really, it's not that hard!
But (as I need to remind myself regularly) there is so much more to homeschooling than what is covered on the tests! There is love of learning and reading. There is character training. There is family building. There are many more things that a child gets from homeschooling that they don't get from being cooped up in a classroom with 30 other kids for 7-8 hours a day!



Wow, lots of testing. That could be a good thing. Here is NJ, we are on our own in terms of interference from the system. Guess that also got me concerned with this.

Thanks!
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