Calla_Dragon wrote:I expect he'd be asking himself whether he wants to play outside or watch Spongebob or something to that effect. I'll repeat myself slowly - kids. are. not. very. self-aware. Why would you expect them to sit down and have deep thoughts over why they're being bullied?
I highly doubt that if you hit a kid with a stick he'll think about Spongebob. Even my dog tries to figure out what's going on when I just say "bad dog."
No, but he also won't be engaging in deep thinking about what he did to make you hit him with a stick and LOL dogs do not think about why you yell at them. I'm a dog behaviorist and I can definately tell you dogs do not analyze your or their behavior. They act on training and instinct alone and the only thing scolding them does is make them cower in submission. They know the alpha is mad - they don't know why nor do they sit there trying to figure it out. They submit to their alpha until the dust settles.
Where exactly did anyone say they were in favor of coddling their children? Who says homeschoolers coddle their children? Do you honestly think we're following our kids around with their blankies and a box of Kleenex waiting for the next catastrophe? Teaching a child how to handle bullies is exactly what most of us do - we do it in a controlled environment though instead of throwing them to the wolves and letting them work it out on their own.
I never said homeschoolers coddle their children. In fact, I support homeschooling over public schooling. However, pulling a kid out of school for the sole reason that he is getting bullied qualifies as 'coddling' in my English.
Ok and it qualifies as a good reason for some other parents. Who are you to judge?
If I get bullied at work, I don't go get a support group, I go get a lawyer. I feel bad for people who are bullied, but I think we went over the fact that people need to stand up for themselves. I'd wager that the vast majority of these people went to public school, but may or may not have been bullied as kids. Seems like that "send them to public school so they can learn how to deal with bullies" mentality worked out so well for them, didn't it?
Again, I was referring to the particular situation of this thread - whether or not to pull a kid out of school and homeschool solely because the kid is getting bullied. Nonetheless, I'd wager that per capita homeschooled kids do get bullied more at work than others; not that I see any relevance.
I'd definately like to see some proof to back that statement up given the number of homeschooled adults there are in the work force.
I agree and where did any of us say that that's not what we're doing as homeschoolers? Just because we dont' toss them into the pack, doesn't mean we're not teaching them how to deal with bullies. Let's think past our own pre-judgements, please?
Well, if you send your kid to school and he ends up being one of the kids in the minority who get bullied, then obviously you did not teach him to deal with bullies at home. Thus, I highly doubt he'll learn how to deal with bullies at home.
Well, why should parents teach their kids to deal with it at home? You said yourself that
Your child has to learn to stand up for himself. He needs to ask himself, why are these bullies targeting me? There's no excuse for bullying, but there will always be bullies - not only in school, but also in life. However, not everyone gets bullied. Your child has to change his own behavior to avoid getting bullied, picked on, and victimized in life.
Perhaps, it's even better to leave your child in school to learn these skills. I'm not a fan of public schools, but that is one of the advantages: socialization. People need to learn how to function with other people healthily. The rough social situations at public schools are a learning experience.
If school is such a learning experience, how can parents compare and why should they send their kids to school prepared for bullying when, IYO, school is such a valuable education in bullying?
I don't care who you are, kids do not enter school knowing how to deal with bullies and bullying isn't even that big of an issue until later grades. Given the amount of time kids are at school/away from their parents each day, parents have a slim chance of adequately preparing their kids for bullying - reading about the topic, role playing, otherwise preparing their kids on how to deal with it. Being thrown into the path of a bully doesn't teach them to deal with the situation any more than standing in a pool makes you a swimmer.
Again, I say, who says we're not teaching kids how to deal with bullies?
Not me. I said that parents of the minority of kids who get bullied won't solve the child's root problem by simply keeping him home. In fact, I think they'll make it worse.
Enabling the child to learn in peace and develop self-confidence and self-esteem independent of being pounded on day in and day out - self-confidence that will teach him what behavior he deserves and which behavior he does not. Yeah, sure sounds like a disservice to me.
Bullying is put to an end first and foremost by a child standing up for himself and saying 'I don't deserve this - I will not allow you to treat me like this". That mentality and the skills that go with asserting oneself take time and love to develop. Kids are not taught self-confidence and self-reliance in the public schools, they're taught reliance on praise bits and approval from teachers and other adults there. Dependence on the adults there does not help a child who has a bully breathing down his neck.
To be idle is a short road to death and to be diligent is a way of life; foolish people are idle, wise people are diligent.