Socialization: Just a buzzword?

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Postby lydiavj » Thu Feb 08, 2007 1:54 pm

My little girl has been home schooled since Kindergarten, she's 7 years old now and I think she's one of the best behaved kids where ever we go. I'm not just saying it because she's my daugher.

For example:

At my church, most of the kids attend public school. I am the kids church teacher and I can say that they really don't have any 'proper' socialization skills. They don't use their good manners, they constantly interrupt me when I'm teaching and they play really rough. They don't know how to talk to each other in a gentle, kind tone.

Now, when I homeschool my little girl, I am also teaching her christian principles. She has socializing time with other homeschooled kids and I can tell you there is a HUGE difference between these kids and the ones in the public school.

For one thing, my kids and the other homeschooled kids, don't cuss and are deliberately rude to each other. Now, don't get me wrong, I'm not saying they're perfect, but just saying that you can see that they're 'differernt' in a refreshing way.

Second, my kids aren't being taught (from other kids mind you) the latest rude joke, the latest expression or whatever.

As far as toys are concerned, they're not affected by the peer pressure of having the latest type of whatever toy is out there and feeling like they're less than because they don't have it.

My children don't deal with the teasing etc....

I think it boils down to the parents taking responsibility for how theirkids end up.

I think that if my little girl were going to a public school, she would be more difficult to control only because I would have to be constantly UNDOING what I don't like from the other kids.

Another thing to consider:

Home schooled kids are being raised by their own parents and have constant parental supervision.

Public schooled kids do not have that. How can 1 or 2 teachers know what 30 - 40 kids are doing at all times? In my opinion, these kids are being shortchanged. No wonder they have issues.

Now I'm not saying all kids who go to public schools are difficult kids, but I'm just saying they have to deal with more crap.

My 2 cents

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Postby Dolly-VA » Thu Feb 08, 2007 4:01 pm

On the subject of "socialization" (I loved the definitions! Why hadn't I thought to look them up?) here's my take on that constant question. I only just started homeschooling recently (4 mths ago for one child, 1 mth ago for another.) My family (siblings, mother) and friends were all very surprised. This, to a person, was the very first question asked. Like a floundering have-to-say-something question to a shocking situation. I think it's because for many people, the idea of homeschooling just NEVER came up before. Either they haven't kids or they have their kids in public schools. Most parents both work now, so homeschooling is pretty much a non-issue (though I know NOW it can be done, 5 months ago I never would have dreamed!) Even if they knew someone who homeschooled, it was usually someone more abstract (so-and-so's sister-in-law's neice kind of thing.) So, pretty much, they haven't ever really thought about it. (Hey, I used to think, "She homeschools? Huh. Interesting." And that would be about it.) This is just the way it is in many places (though I think that's changing, but like I said, I'm still new to this.) As homeschoolers now, I am constantly reading up on everything I can, I have several forums I track, and homeschooling has become a major part of my life (and mental workings.) Still, for most people, it's a rather surprising and foreign idea. It's not on par with religion and politics (thank goodness), maybe more like becoming a vegetarian or moving onto a commune or something like that.

:roll: That's my take anyway! :lol:

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Postby Theodore » Thu Feb 08, 2007 5:05 pm

Heh, moving into a commune? This isn't the hippie era any more, I think homeschooling is a good deal more respected than that :)

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Postby Dolly-VA » Thu Feb 08, 2007 8:52 pm

Theodore wrote:Heh, moving into a commune? This isn't the hippie era any more, I think homeschooling is a good deal more respected than that :)

You'd think! :lol: But, honestly? Not by some of the reactions I've gotten. :shock: Actually, I think my family might have been less surprised if I'd joined a commune. :wink:

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Postby twiggybumble » Fri May 25, 2007 4:03 pm

Joylane wrote:so·cial·ize

so·cial·ized , so·cial·iz·ing , so·cial·iz·es

To place under government or group ownership or control.
To make fit for companionship with others; make sociable.
To convert or adapt to the needs of society.

To take part in social activities.

This is how the American Heritage Dictionary defines socialization. So when people ask if I "socialize" my children I say "absolutely not!".

I never want my children to base their decisions (moral, economical, or personal) on "the needs of society". This does not mean that they can't carry on a conversation. This just means that the conversations they have are theirs.

Sure public schools are GREAT for socialization training. If that is what you really want for your children.

Now ask me if my children have positve interaction with others....absolutely! My children have peer interaction with people of all ages. The key word here is POSITIVE. Public school can be positive, but it can also be very negative....from teachers to other students. I will not leave my childrens impressionable, confidence building years to chance.

In reality, if we encounter negative people daily, in our jobs or public places we go, then we can change that. We can pursue having the negative removed or we can remove ourselves from the negative. We have a choice. In public school, children have no choice. They have to face that negative day in and day out. That would crush even the most "social" butterfly.

People will say "well, you can not protect them forever".... to me homeschooling is not about protecting them from negative, but rather building them with so much positive that the negatives don't stand a chance.

I think people use the "socialization" arguement simply because they are socialized "puppets".

:P :lol: :) :D

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