Handling melt downs

[Miyu]

My husband is homeschooling my 9 year old daughter. We just started this fall and so far, it seems to be going fairly well...but she occasionally has a melt down. It usually starts with an attitude...everything is stupid and she doesn't try...then the tears start and she screams that she wants to die or something equally dramatic. Since he is her step-father, I have always been the one who disciplines her, and so far, this has worked well...but this means that school comes to a halt, and she goes to her room until I come home.

What are some ways that you have handled melt downs...

[momo3boys]

Meltdowns, escpecially bad attitudes, I attack with chores, and excercise. scrubbing the sink with a toothbrush works wonders. I'm serious, weeding a garden works too. If they put up a fight, give them more, eventually they will work the attitude out, you ask them to do something simple for you, like get you a cup, and if the attitude is better you talk to them and start over. It can get a little messy at first but works great! THe best thing is to stop the school work but make sure it gets down, even if it means missing out on something fun because it took too long to do.

[Mark]

you should also keep a food log for a while and see if it is happening
at regular intervals after certain foods..

with my two, dairy sets things up for one of them and corn sets things off
for the other one.

just something to keep in mind.

mark

[robinsegg]

Did you try deschooling before jumping in? If not, this might have something to do with it.

Also, take a log of what's going on in the family structure, what she's working on that day, and how she seems to feel about herself.

One other thought: At 9, she may be starting to feel hormones moving once per month. Keep track of when it happens to see if this might be the case.

[micheller79]

I am relieved to know other people deal with meltdowns.. My girl is 9 and she has them on a regular basis. Very hard to motivate to do school. I need more info on deschooling. What is it? Why is it necessary? What do you achieve?

[Miyu]

I have never heard of de-schooling, either...what is it, exactly.

We did take the summer off...so she didn't go directly from a formal school environment to a home school environment.

The hormone thing is a distinct possibility...I hadn't thought about that. I will start keeping a log.

[AnnetteR]

Talk to her. Why is she acting this way? What can you do to help? She may be responding to something completely unrelated to homeschooling.

[micheller79]

good advice. It took us about 6 weeks to finally get to the bottom of the issues that started us homeschooling. I am going to log the mood swing thing too. But isn't that awful young for the puberty thing?

[robinsegg]

De-schooling is where you take time off formal studies (you can still do things like special projects, field trips, scout projects and the like) between formal public (or private) schooling and formal homeschooling. The guideline is usually one month per year classroom school, and usually starts when school would be in session.
The idea is to give the child some "detox" time in which to recouperate from the pressures of the classroom and rediscover their love of learning. I've heard it works wonders!

I've heard on parenting forums that many girls start showing signs of hormones (though not menarche, yet) at age 8-9. 150 years ago, menarch didn't occur until about 16-17, where it now starts around 12. So, while it seems young, it could be a precursor of things to come.

Rachel