I'm worried about socialization

[luv2bastayathomemom]

I would love to hear from you all. I have a 1 year old and a
4 year old. My 4 year old goes to preschool now as he has since he was 2 1/2 at our church. (this was before I realized I'd be homeschooling) Anyway, he likes pre-school a lot. It's only from 9 til noon and he enjoys his friends there too. He's known them for 3 years now. I will officially start homeschooling instead of kindergarten next year.
I'm still definitely going to homeschool, but lately, I've really been worried about his socialization. We had a long time neighbor move away and he always asks about her and wants to play with her and a couple of his friends ended up in the other 4 year old class and he really misses them so I try to set up play dates whenever I can. He goes to sunday school, but not all the same kids are always there every sunday and it's only for an hour and I already joined 2 homeschool groups, but the problem with that, I've recently noticed, is that there are lots of members with kids my age, but everyone shows up at all different meetings. Noone is consistent so it's not only hard for him to make lasting relationships and get to know people, but for me too. Even if I put him in martial arts or something, it still probably isn't enough to make a lasting friendship, is it?
Please help me with suggestions or feedback. Thank you.

[Theodore]

The absolute best thing would be some sort of regular neighborhood activity. I don't know what's available in your area, but the local swim team is only a few miles away here and most of my siblings participate in that.

[luv2bastayathomemom]

So, you're talking about something like a community center I assume? That's an idea. There's one right down the street. I could get him on a team so he'd see the same kids at practice, etc. Thanks.

[Lenethren]

I found with my kids that any activity where they see the same kids is all they need to make friends. Even going to the same playground often enough they got to know kids and made friends. In activities, although they are busy, there is always breaks and kids just seem to make friends that quickly. Our local library has weekly activites for kids and they've made friends there too. So theres a few places you could try.

[AnnetteR]

Do children need to see each other everyday to form a lasting friendship? My son was in a daycare one day a week and he and another boy bonded and formed a very close friendship. They knew they would not see each other daily and looked forward to that one day a week that they would see each other.

Even I had believed that they must have spent the entire day together to have formed such a close friendship but they actually only saw each other for an hour or two before the other boy went home. There were other children that were there longer but my son did not form a friendship with any of the other children like he had with this one boy.

[Lenethren]

Here is an article I just read on Socialization.

[janzeiger]

There are lots of opportunities for him to play with other children. My son is 4.5 and goes to gymnastics, is on a soccer team, plays with the neighbor kids, etc etc...We're constantly out and about. Oh, and you should probably join a good local homeschool group so he can be part of a group. They'll have lots of activities, field trips, etc..

Hope this helps.

[AnnetteR]

Here is an article I just read on Socialization.

The idea of learning acceptable social skills in a school is as absurd to me as learning nutrition from a grocery store.

My favorite line from the entire article - it says it all (IMO)

[Mark]

The idea of learning acceptable social skills in a school is as absurd to me as learning nutrition from a grocery store.

My favorite line from the entire article - it says it all (IMO)

*chokes*

it does indeed say it all..


mark

[merkelbonds]

I've just never found socialization to be an issue. My children are now 10 and 13. They have always been homeschooled. Each year I ask them if they would like to go to ps. The adamant answer from both is NO! That is by no coaching of my own. We enjoy being a family. We enjoy learning together. We do a lot of family activities. Our only outside activities are AWANA, Sunday School, Piano, and American Heritage Girls. We just cannot be more involved or we would not have time for schooling. I have never found that my children lack for skills in a social situation nor have I found that they lack for things to do. We live in the country and they have just had to learn to entertain themselves or play with each other. Think back to the prairie days. They only had each other back then and they turned out just fine.

[Aspie]

I personally think you should worry about civilization first but...

[Janine72]

Most homeschoolers are involved in church which is a great way to meet friends. Your kids will even get used to a classroom situation in Sunday School. www.faithfulwordbaptist.org includes a church directory if you're looking for a good Bible believing church in your area. Hope this helps.

[Calla_Dragon]

I wouldn't worry about it. Homeschoolers aren't homebound. Homeschooling is sometimes somewhat of a misnomer to those who know little about it. We're not at home all day, every day. We're not at home most days - it's rare for us to have a day where we don't leave the house unless it's really poor weather (that happens living in MN) or someone is sick.

There are a ton of things you can do to expose your child to other kids. It's a little tricker with kids under age 5 if you do not attend a church, like our family, but it can be done easily. I took my kids to a lot of parks, both indoor and outdoor so we could go all year round. We do a lot of community ed stuff - our city has classes for kids as young as 3, mostly centering around art and music at that age. We also are members of a health club which has classes for kids and open swimming - always a kid fest. Children's museums, aquariums, etc are great places to meet other kids - especially during the day. My kids have even found kids to play with at the grocery store while us moms were discussing the qualities of powdered vs. liquid laundry detergent - yes, it happens

Homeschooled kids are generally exposed to a wide variety of ages - not just their own age group. I've found that it generally happens with very little effort on our parts but it's something to be aware of to make sure it IS happening though.