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Ask The Homeschooler (from the kids point of view)
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Against Homeschooling
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Joined: 03 Jan 2006
Posts: 32

PostPosted: Tue Sep 26, 2006 4:10 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Quote:
Public school is not a guarantee that you will have friends.


But homeschooling is a near-certain statistical guarantee that you won't. Wink

Before you drag me down on the semantics of that one, allow me to clarify the meaning of friend. To me, a friend is an individual who I hold trust in, who I can speak to meaningfully, and who I respect. These attributes obviously must hold true reciprocally. Homeschoolers do not tend to have figures in their lives who meet these criteria, even if they do have acquaintances who their parents call "friends" to make themselves feel better.

I'll never forget my mom talking with one of her friends and referring to a kid my brother barely knows as "one of his best friends." Have you ever had a moment when you don't know whether to laugh or cry?
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momo3boys
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Joined: 14 Feb 2006
Posts: 574
Location: Western Mass

PostPosted: Tue Sep 26, 2006 5:22 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

In high school I had a few people that I would hang out with but no one that I could confide in, no one to help me bear my burdens. My seven year old has one of those friends that he never could have found in public school. He is a very loyal friend, he remembers friends long after they have forgotten him. This friend, even though they are young, means the world to him and that is reciprocated, they feed on each others strengths and not beat on eachothers weeknesses. They support eachother, and they love eachother, that is what friendship is, they never would have found it, amoung 26 other children in kindergarten last year, where all the children did all day was wait, and be shuffled from one activity to the next. My son is able to share his discoveries with his friend, and listen as his friend shares his with him. That's what friendship is about.
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AnnetteR
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Joined: 30 Jul 2006
Posts: 39
Location: Minnesota

PostPosted: Wed Sep 27, 2006 2:53 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Against Homeschooling wrote:

But homeschooling is a near-certain statistical guarantee that you won't. Wink

Before you drag me down on the semantics of that one, allow me to clarify the meaning of friend. To me, a friend is an individual who I hold trust in, who I can speak to meaningfully, and who I respect. These attributes obviously must hold true reciprocally. Homeschoolers do not tend to have figures in their lives who meet these criteria, even if they do have acquaintances who their parents call "friends" to make themselves feel better.

I'll never forget my mom talking with one of her friends and referring to a kid my brother barely knows as "one of his best friends." Have you ever had a moment when you don't know whether to laugh or cry?


Can you provide me with the data from your research that children that are homeschooled lack the ability to make and maintain friendships?

I went to public school and I have had moments in which I have not known whether to laugh or cry. Do you think that you would be able to attribute that feeling to having been homeschooled?

You imply that friends can only be found and made in school and that parents that homeschool their children lack the character to teach their children social skills. This says more about you than it does anything else.
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Against My Will
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Joined: 22 Sep 2006
Posts: 9

PostPosted: Wed Oct 04, 2006 9:31 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

AnnetteR wrote:

Public school is not a guarantee that you will have friends.




did someone not have many friends duing there high school years? ;P
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Aspie
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Joined: 29 Aug 2006
Posts: 41

PostPosted: Thu Oct 05, 2006 2:44 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Against Homeschooling wrote:
Quote:
Public school is not a guarantee that you will have friends.


But homeschooling is a near-certain statistical guarantee that you won't. Wink

Before you drag me down on the semantics of that one, allow me to clarify the meaning of friend. To me, a friend is an individual who I hold trust in, who I can speak to meaningfully, and who I respect. These attributes obviously must hold true reciprocally. Homeschoolers do not tend to have figures in their lives who meet these criteria, even if they do have acquaintances who their parents call "friends" to make themselves feel better.

I'll never forget my mom talking with one of her friends and referring to a kid my brother barely knows as "one of his best friends." Have you ever had a moment when you don't know whether to laugh or cry?


Home-schooling is also a near-certain statistical guarantee that you can actually LEARN something rather than have to defend yourslef against bullies, all the BEEPy time.
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Mark
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Joined: 03 Sep 2006
Posts: 424
Location: North of DFW Texas

PostPosted: Fri Oct 06, 2006 4:12 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Against Homeschooling wrote:
Quote:
Public school is not a guarantee that you will have friends.


But homeschooling is a near-certain statistical guarantee that you won't. Wink

Before you drag me down on the semantics of that one, allow me to clarify the meaning of friend. To me, a friend is an individual who I hold trust in, who I can speak to meaningfully, and who I respect. These attributes obviously must hold true reciprocally. Homeschoolers do not tend to have figures in their lives who meet these criteria, even if they do have acquaintances who their parents call "friends" to make themselves feel better.

I'll never forget my mom talking with one of her friends and referring to a kid my brother barely knows as "one of his best friends." Have you ever had a moment when you don't know whether to laugh or cry?
and yet it is not even close to the realities of my children.. Smile
I need a spreadsheet to keep up with their social schedules.. Laughing
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AnnetteR
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Joined: 30 Jul 2006
Posts: 39
Location: Minnesota

PostPosted: Fri Oct 06, 2006 12:36 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Taught against my will wrote:
AnnetteR wrote:

Public school is not a guarantee that you will have friends.




did someone not have many friends duing there high school years? ;P


I take it you can't argue my point.
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Aspie
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Joined: 29 Aug 2006
Posts: 41

PostPosted: Thu Oct 12, 2006 10:11 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Unless you have a large church

So youth clubs are out of the question, then?

Festivials don't count, I presume? Large ones such as the river festivial. A lot of first-aid posts were needed to cover it because it's such a big event.

Plain extra-cirricular stuff wouldn't work?
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Lkat83
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Joined: 15 Jul 2006
Posts: 25
Location: Colorado

PostPosted: Sun Oct 15, 2006 9:09 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

I think perspectives are different depending on where you live and what kinds of involvement your kids have. My sons, both grade school age, stay pretty busy with Scouts, karate, and the homeschool support group we belong to. We have a weekly baseball league, and just finished a kickball league, both with the homeschool group. There are several boys in our street who homeschool, and others very close by.

My teenage daughter homeschooled last year, but chose to attend the local high school this year. She had a hard time meeting kids her own age who lived close enough to do things with. She's much happier at the high school, but my sons are much happier, for now anyway, at home.

I do think the parents have the ultimate decision making power, but I also think that, especially in the teen years, the kids should have input into the decision to homeschool or not.
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Martha
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Joined: 28 Oct 2006
Posts: 10

PostPosted: Sun Nov 26, 2006 6:04 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

I think it sad that you all think it is because you were homeschooled that you have those issues.

I was public schooled for my entire schooling life. Did I have a load of friends? No! I went to homecoming, a couple of times it was fun...and a couple of times I went home crying cause a "boyfriend" hurt my feelings by going with a different girl. You know, I had mainly one friend all throughout high school. Even we weren't that close, I mean, AFTER we graduated we rarely talk. I felt judged by what I wore (and was made fun of if it wasn't the "norm") and felt I had to wear tons of makeup to cover up my "flaws" when now I have more "flaws" than ever and rarely wear anything to cover it up, not because I stay home with my babies, but because I realzie it was my young mind being warped by others telling me what was pretty and what wasn't. All through my childhood even I was mocked for not having popular name brand clothes on.

Let me tell you, that that is NOT what I want my babies to grow up in. My children shouldnt' have to have the same issues I did. We aren't sure what we are going to do as far as homeschooling goes for their "whole lives" of school...but I can tell you that being homeschooled and being public schooled have NOTHING to do with the few comments made here in this thread.

Seriously, I have felt the same things as a PSed kid. And I know I'm not alone either! Smile
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momo3boys
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Joined: 14 Feb 2006
Posts: 574
Location: Western Mass

PostPosted: Mon Nov 27, 2006 4:41 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

I found it interesting, a conversation I overheard between my homeschooled son and his PSed friend. My son told about how he had a lot of good friends, some in school, some not. His friend told him that he was lucky, his only good friend lives on the other side of the country. These children are almost nine, and very busy and social, but the one in PS thought that he had no friends close by, as my homschooled son told of his many good friends.
My other son has a best friend and they spend A LOT of time together and have a great time, really interacting and working together and solving problems. These are things that they wouldn't be able to get done in PS, they wouldn't have that freedom to truly interact on a really deep level. I am so glad that I am homeschooling by boys, and I do think that it is what is best for them.
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littlequail
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Joined: 08 Dec 2006
Posts: 2

PostPosted: Fri Dec 08, 2006 2:07 pm    Post subject: hey homeschooler Reply with quote

Taught against my will wrote:
were i live homeschooled students arent allowed to play on school sport temas or soo im told.


my parents dont like my friends so i never see them


and we live in the middle of nowhere so there is really isnt a place for me to go


except for church..witch it took months of arguing to be able to go to one they aproved of.


i really have nothing. i have look for every option and tried to keep an open mind about homeschooling.


im useing this forum as a outlet and becuz i mainly have nothing to do.
Confused buddy i am confused to why you don't give in to a the Ymca there are youth groups ,sports, skating is a good way to meet friends. Honey the schools all over don't let the home students attend. You should always keep your head up and be proud. I have 5 boys and have home schooled to they have also attended public schools . Right now my 8th grader is home schooled. He was flunking out and the teachers didn't care. Yet my 5th and 6th graders go to a public school. We go to zoo's, park's, we do alot at museums. I feel that if i am going to take them from public schooling then I have to put the public into thier lifes some way. My boys have friends i don't like and i express that too. try to get involved in something. Very Happy
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kirerellim
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Joined: 12 Dec 2006
Posts: 2

PostPosted: Tue Dec 12, 2006 3:33 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

All points mentioned make sence. I think that in school maters that the child should decide if posible.
I went to public school, but it was boring to me.
i wasnt teased or otherwise, it just wasnt interesting. Some people like to interact with others. i dont. thats why i think the person who is going to school should decide if he or she wants to go to homeschool or not. I have found one problem with homeschooling, for me personaly. My mom keeps trying to set me up with play dates, cause, she doesnt think i have enough interactions with other people. Exclamation
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bobbinsx5
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Joined: 17 Nov 2005
Posts: 60

PostPosted: Sun Jan 07, 2007 3:35 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Quote:

PostPosted: Wed Oct 04, 2006 10:31 pm Post subject:
AnnetteR wrote:

Public school is not a guarantee that you will have friends.




did someone not have many friends duing there high school years? ;P


Not only did I not have many friends during high school, in the eleven years I went to public school, I didn't have many friends. (Two years I went to Christian school, where I also didn't have many friends.) You see, I was the fat girl in class that not many people liked. I had two friends in grade school, two friends in the Christian school, and during jr high and high school, it jumped to three! Public school is no guarantee of friends, activities, or enjoyment. In all the years I went to ps, it was torture, just trying to get through the day with minimal amount of teasing. There is no way I am subjecting my children to that kind of atmosphere!
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Starlily
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Joined: 11 Dec 2006
Posts: 6

PostPosted: Fri Jan 26, 2007 5:24 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

I did have many aquaintances in ps high school, and some friends. ('Friends' in high school, by the way, as well as church, can be extremely fickle and backstabbing.) We hung out, went to events, parties, etc. There was a huge amount of peer pressure and group mentality. Which may seem intriguing to you perhaps, if you are currently in the teen years.

In retrospect, and what I wish for my children, is for them to have a strong sense of self, who they are as people and what their passions are. Regardless of what is going on around them. My reasons for home learning with them include that they are able to have a self directed life full of learning and the things they love.

Honestly, if they were expressing intense boredom and the wish to go to public school, I would give them that opportunity. We have always home schooled with them this far, and they have friends, interests and are always able to keep themselves occupied. I would be very concerned if they were depressed, bored and friendless. Definitely I believe that children should have a say in their education. That is another reason that we home learn.
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