Help! Don't Know What to Do!!

Having problems figuring out where to start? Let other homeschoolers offer you some advice!

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Help! Don't Know What to Do!!

Postby Firmfaith » Mon Dec 21, 2009 12:18 pm

My dd16 has been attending a private Christian school for the past 3 years. She is not doing well at all. She also attended a private Catholic school from K - 8th grade. Reading back on my journals I see that every year since about 6th grade I have been stressing about whether she was going to pass or not.

She has been diagnosed with ADD, depression and social anxiety. At the Catholic school she was bullied and that basically destroyed her self esteem. The horrible part of it was that it was for no reason except one "popular" girl decided she didn't like her and turned everyone against her.

This year she is in the 11th grade and is failing at least 3 subjects: Math, literature and theology... I never see her crack a book. She is not even trying anymore. I'm at my wits end and don't know what to do to help her. The school is very expensive but the public schools in my area are horrible so I feel like I have no choice but to put her in this private school.

I really need help and advice on what to do. She is a very gifted writer. All her teachers say she writes beautifully and she is also gifted in art. But she is failing Algebra II and barely passed Algebra I. She use to love literature (she loves to read)...

I am thinking about letting her do some type of online high school next year instead of attending school. Do you guys think this is a good idea? She wants to go to college. Her dream was to be a veterinarian as she loves animals but with these can she get into a college?

I work fulltime and I need to for the health insurance... Well, actually I get off around 2 p.m.

Advice needed!!!

Also, my 6th grade son is not doing well either. He is getting in trouble all the time for "talking" and has already had 2 detentions. He never got in trouble before. His grades are plummeting too...


On the other hand, my middle daughter is doing great....

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Postby gizzy » Tue Dec 22, 2009 8:22 pm

Well, I was homeschooled and I'm currently in my 2nd semester of college... I also help educate my younger siblings, Ages 4,6, and 8.

I have always had great grades up until highschool, when I met Algebra I....

Anyway, I suggest you site down like, RIGHT NOW and have a talk with your 2 kids. Ask them to consider homeschooling and let them look up some sites, subjects, curriculum etc. Encourage them to talk to some classmates or teachers in the NEXT grade up from them and see what they will be doing if they remain in their current school, let them evaluate the Private curriculum and thank about what they would HAVE to do vs what they would WANT to do.... (You should definitely do this also, find out where there curriculum is going).

Consider withdrawing them after the New Year, and using all that tuition money to get them a tutor to come 3-6 times a week to monitor their progress or work with them one on one. Crunch some numbers and see what it would take to enroll them in a couple of Extra Curricular activities and do you have a spouse/family/support network to help you watch the kids during the day?

You're kids are--or should be--more than capable of planning some things out and thinking seriously about their own futures. Ask them to think about where they are going and where they want to go.

Find a local homeschooling family or group and ask them for advice and if they'd be willing to help you get it set up if your kids want it.

I was sometimes lonely being homeschooled (My parents weren't good about getting us outside/extra-curricular activities) but I really did love it, and looking back I consider it a HUGE benefit. My parents went the extra mile to help us, during my HS years I went to a tech school to get Job training so by the time I sat for my GED at 18 years old, I was a certified Book Keeper and Legal Administrative Speciliast with two intern experiences beneath my belt. I did very well on the GED with minimal Before the Test Prep, and am now attending Jr. College.

I didn't make the extra effort to really brush up my Algebra before taking the schools placement test (Since I didn't take the SAT/ACT) so I will have to take a remedial Algebra course, starting in this Spring, but so far I've taken 7 classes and made 5 "A"'s and 2 "B's" I have a 3.75 GPA and I dont even feel I'm being challenged yet.

I never studied for my HEALTh class, (one of the classes that I got a "B" in,) I just moseyed along through class and did the work. For my Game Programming Class (The other class I got a B in) I missed some crucial assignments due to life and mismanagement of my time. But I got myself together right around midterms cause I wanted to pass and I did. (My Teacher had predicted I'd get an F or a D at best but I got a B+"

This Spring I'm set to take 6 classes (I'm going to sign up for a 7th) for a total of 22 credits. I'm really excited.

Please keep me posted, I'm eager to see how your family progresses with this situation.

EDIT: Check your local library, community center, church for homeschooling guides and I dont know WHERE to go for this information but check around to find the information pertaining to homeschooling in your STATE, the laws vary drastically.

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Lorelei Sieja
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Joined: Thu Mar 12, 2009 12:52 pm
Location: Kalamazoo, MI USA


Postby Lorelei Sieja » Mon Dec 28, 2009 11:21 pm

I'd strongly urge you to pull her out immediately. Don't leave her in a school where she is not happy, is not learning, and is expensive!

A friend of mine knew that she should homeschool her daughter, but she didn't want to. The girl was being bullied in a Catholic middle school, and was miserable. Now the girl is college age, moved away from home, and never speaks to her family. They haven't heard from her in years. Yet homeschooling tends to make families stronger! I'm not saying that homeschooling is the answer to everything, but it really can make a difference.

The nice thing about a 16 yr old, that loves to write and used to like to read, is that she could really be teaching herself at home, while you just supervise.

I dropped out of public school at about age 16. I had very supportive parents, and I was self-motivated. I went to an alternative highschool (homeschooling was sort of unheard of back then - 1975) where I managed to get enough credits to graduate and go into college. But basically, I was self-taught.

If she's struggling with algebra 2, I'd recommend that she repeat algebra 1 using a different book. Then, she can skip algebra 2. How much math is she going to need? I love the Saxon books for upper-level math. She can get the book, the solutions manual, and a test booklet, and she can figure out where she makes her mistakes, and self-correct.

If she loves to write, there is soooo much out there to encourage her. I dont' remember the information now, but there is a company that publishes children's books written by children! And illustrated by them, too, i think. Nothing would be more motivating than seeing her own work published! That book "Eragon" was written by a 19 yr old kid.

Depression is scary. And medication is not recommended for teens. Get her out of the situation, and the depression may go away. We get depressed when we are unhappy but feel trapped. Help her discover ways to improve her situation. Help her learn about setting goals and taking small steps to achieve them. That's almost a guaranteed cure for depression!

There's so much other stuff you can teach a 16 yr old, that is not included in public education. Like home economics. I'm appalled at how many moms today do not know how to cook! TEach her to sew. How to do the laundry. How to fix her hair or mend her clothes. Teach her how to make a budget. How to change a tire. The more you teach her, the more her confidence will blossom.

Good luck! For both of you.
Lorelei Sieja
Nurturing Creative Young Minds and Wiggly Bodies

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Postby tash » Fri Feb 05, 2010 8:04 pm

I agree with Lorelei.

I also wanted to suggest you look around, many states have programs where high schoolers can do collage classes at the community collage and get high school credit in addition to collage credit. This can help cut down on collage costs in the long run. Maybe she could start with an English class since it sounds like she is good with reading and writing. :)

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