His learning style appears to be "I don't like to learn

Discuss unschooling, eclectic, the unit study approach, or any other "unusual" homeschooling method.

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Jana2002
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His learning style appears to be "I don't like to learn

Postby Jana2002 » Wed Nov 05, 2008 2:56 pm

He is six (August) and every single day is a struggle to do anything related to learning. All he wants to do is play.

He can read at about a first grade level or slightly higher. He is fully capable.

However, all he wants to do is play and he articulates that THAT is the only thing he wants to do. He cries we are unfair if we ask him to do anything else. ???

I am not all that interested in unschooling in a radical way. We unschool enough and that is mostly our life (and certainly has been up to now) but both my husband and I feel the need to see him put effort into something so that we know he can before we can just store the school work away for another year.

I feel like it is a battle of the wills. I want to win. So does he.

I have a four year old who gets put in another room to play (well in the living room with books and puzzles and games and sometimes a little computer time) while I work with the older. The minute I leave the older child he quits doing anything and puts his pencil down. I can't sit in there with him for two hours at a time to get something done. I have another little person to consider.

My dreams of this cozy relationship of snuggling with math books is quickly becoming a stress I hate each morning. We can read for hours and hours and hours until my voice is horse. He loves to listen to stories and play nearby. I don't mind doing that but I am anxious to see his interests expand from playing with stuffed toys on the couches next to me to rocket science or something similar. :)

I just really want this to work out and I am very stressed it is not. He puts a mental wall up when I say lets sit down and fit a little school in this morning.

He doesn't want to go to public school. He just wants to play.

Other kids manage an entire day at school. Why can't we get two hours in over the course of a day?

I expect to get responses saying "let him play" but what I want to know is - is it normal to have such strong opposition from a capable child?

It couldn't be that he is hard headed like his mom. :) Truly, I want this to work and I want him to do what I ask each day without the drama. Is it just too much to expect at six? We could be done and out of the house by 10 or 11 every single day to go hike or play, ride bikes, zoo - whatever but instead we end up both of us in tears over four worksheet pages in Explode the Code (currently a two hour project with all the whining and playing around when I am not looking).

Thanks for all the constructive advice and for understanding that everyone probably wants a rocket scientist so please know that comment was made entirely in jest. I feel fragile today - I am looking for support here - even supportive "leave him alone" posts.

signed,

On the verge - Jan

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seekingmyLord
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Postby seekingmyLord » Wed Nov 05, 2008 7:42 pm

He sounds a bit like a typical 6yo with some of those first born tendencies of being strong-willed.

I don't know the whole situation, but let's think this through....He likes to play and you want to cozy up with him and teach math, but if you are spending a few hours in a tug of war over math, he ends up hating math and your goals are unmet also. Maybe it is time to change tactics. Have you considered cuddling up without the worksheets? Just playing at math then gently working him into it?

Another thing I saw in your post was four sheets of Explode the Code. If I may suggest that 1-2 pages per day is plenty.

If you really have tried to accommodate his learning style and he is still being strong-willed....well, it gets kind of boring trying to play without any toys or not being allowed to watch TV. Take them all away and let him earn one back each day by doing his lessons with a good attitude. I might even tell him if he does not want to do lessons that is fine with you, but no toys, no TV, etc.
Last edited by seekingmyLord on Thu Nov 06, 2008 7:45 am, edited 1 time in total.

Jana2002
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Postby Jana2002 » Wed Nov 05, 2008 7:54 pm

Thank you for your reply. I thought I had hit delete on the post by accident and was not going to type it all in again. Pleasant surprise.

I appreciate your ideas, especially the number of pages I ask him to do. We have a geography book we work from and do an entire lesson for the week in one day because it is only two questions per day which seems pretty silly. But perhaps those two questions, only two pages of ETC and a reduced expectation on everything else is what I will need to settle for.

I did try the no toys today and he said fine and went and took a nap. :)

So did I!

:

J

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seekingmyLord
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Postby seekingmyLord » Wed Nov 05, 2008 8:08 pm

Your geography book sounds a great deal like Evan-Moor's Daily Geography Practice. If so, I have used that also. I think one side of the page would be enough, IF he really likes geography. Frankly, I had not planned to do geography at that age, except that I found my daughter LOVES anything to do with maps, so I ended up adding it to my curriculum.

It is not a terrible thing to take a break and get some rest now and then. It can give you both a chance to get a fresh start.

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Re: His learning style appears to be "I don't like to l

Postby elliemaejune » Fri Nov 07, 2008 9:55 pm

Married to Mr. Ellie for over 40 years
Mother to 2 dds and 2 dsil
Grandmother to 1 sweet boy
Servant of 1 kitteh

thinks
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Postby thinks » Sat Nov 15, 2008 7:25 pm

Cheers
Jean Edwards in New Zealand
http://www.thinkshop.org
blog: http://www.onthinking.co.nz

mommyto2gr8ones
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Postby mommyto2gr8ones » Tue Dec 02, 2008 6:24 am

Crystal~wife to Robert~2/11/01
Mom to Joshua~7/19/00
Lillian~7/1/06
And Furbaby CopyCat~7/03
"I can do all things through Christ which strengthens me"~Phillipians 4:13

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Postby thinks » Wed Dec 03, 2008 11:40 pm

Cheers

Jean Edwards in New Zealand

http://www.thinkshop.org

blog: http://www.onthinking.co.nz

mommyto2gr8ones
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Postby mommyto2gr8ones » Sat Dec 06, 2008 3:17 pm

Crystal~wife to Robert~2/11/01

Mom to Joshua~7/19/00

Lillian~7/1/06

And Furbaby CopyCat~7/03

"I can do all things through Christ which strengthens me"~Phillipians 4:13

momo3boys
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Postby momo3boys » Wed Dec 10, 2008 8:43 pm

You started your post with talking about his learning style. Have you looked at the multiple intelligence theory? My son is so active and social that math without moving and talking is useless. Jump rope times tables, two player games that teach math skills, if he likes to read then let him read a book about numbers, there are a bunch of great ones out there, check the library. Let him teach his younger brother something, that is a great way to learn, and remember something for much longer. Four is plenty old enough to get a quick lesson from older brother.
Good luck.
Unfortunately, if you don't have at least a few frustrating days with your children then you aren't homeschooling...;)
At least they are with you. :)
Phi 4:13 I can do all things through Christ which strengtheneth me.

thinks
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Postby thinks » Thu Dec 11, 2008 12:59 am

Hello Jana272. Just re-reading your original post and the other responses, and am suddenly looking at this from another angle- MAYBE this is because you yourself are under a lot of pressure...are you being too hard on yourself with things?? So just to offer empathy - many of us have been in the very same situation and sometimes it just becomes overwhelming. So-- take a deep breath-- and resolve that you're going to relax on this one and that you and your children are going to ENJOY homeschooling. Be kind to yourself! And your children will benefit too :)
Cheers

Jean Edwards in New Zealand

http://www.thinkshop.org

blog: http://www.onthinking.co.nz

Dianne Dachyshyn
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He's only six!

Postby Dianne Dachyshyn » Sat Jan 03, 2009 2:13 am

Why not pull back all together and just enjoy your time with this little guy? Maybe he's not ready for formal learning. Focus on the things he likes to do. Read together, drink tea, bake and take long walks outside. Readiness for learning is very important. I agree with a previous post--all kids love learning. It's "schooling" that they often take exception to!

God bless you as you raise your little one. You have lots of time!
Dianne Dachyshyn
www.homeschoolwell.com

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Postby ncmom » Mon Jan 05, 2009 11:00 pm


thinks
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Postby thinks » Mon Jan 05, 2009 11:11 pm

Cheers

Jean Edwards in New Zealand

http://www.thinkshop.org

blog: http://www.onthinking.co.nz

Dianne Dachyshyn
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I agree with ncmom and Jean (or thinks)

Postby Dianne Dachyshyn » Mon Jan 05, 2009 11:25 pm

Boy, I agree with ncmom and Jean, or is it thinks? Learning is what happens all day long as long as you open your mind to the endless possibilities! I like to tell parents, "If you want to learn at home, go for it. If you want to school at home, then just send them back to the public school. They have far more experience and resources to run a school than you do."

The point is that this little one could be learning so much by playing and experiencing life with you that he will be farther ahead at the end of the year than if you had "chained him to a desk."

We mustn't forget his age. He's very young, so even if he were eager to study, at the most, he should be doing traditional school work in small doses and short time spans and the total time shouldn't be more than 1.5 to 3 hours per day.

Don't make the mistake that I made with my little guy. He was six, too, and it was our first year homeschooling. The difference was that he was super eager and he would sit at his desk for hours and return after supper and continue working. I burned him out in less than a year. It was way too much, but it was my first year homeschooling and I had two older children. I mistakenly thought in terms of a "full" school day of six hours or more. That was crazy.

The time that we spend with our kids at home is concentrated learning. They don't have to share us with 25 other kids and we don't have to waste time with classroom management, multiple discipline problems, interruptions, rescheduling etc. (within reason!). Fifteen minutes of math is plenty when he's little and he has his own tutor, and who says that his learning has to come from between the pages of a book? As Jean said, do lots of hands-on work with real objects. Little kids, especially boys, love to learn this way. He's still a concrete learner, so the less abstract the presentation, the better.

I really doubt that this is a behavior issue as much as a problem with readiness. If you find that you are in a battle of wills at some point, I wrote an article that you might find helpful. It's called Help, I'm Going Nuts! and it's on my website. Otherwise, just follow the wonderful advice that other homeschoolers have given you here. You have lots of time to learn together. Slow down and enjoy it and make allowances for his age and sex. Little boys need to move! :)
Dianne Dachyshyn

www.homeschoolwell.com


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