Just a quick real world example of no work no eat: my family has a dairy farm, and we recently have been hiring some extra help...nothing glamorous, cleaning stalls, getting cows up to be milked, etc. Somewhere around the third day, one of them decided he just wasn't going to work the 3rd shift because he needed to be at home with his family (the shifts rotate every two weeks, so this wasn't even permanent). DH told him, that's fine, but you remember if you don't work you and your family don't eat. The man left anyways only to call the next day begging his job back. "Too late" was my husband's response.
One more comment about the door: I think taking the door off after repeated warnings not to slam it is a fine punishment. It is the having the child repeatedly telling everyone who came in the house about it that is so horrid. I have a friend who kept slamming the door and her dad told her he would take it down if it happened again. It happened again and off it came. She was able to hang a sheet for privacy...but this was a family affair...no announcing it to the world. My DD (who is only 3) learned how to lock her door recently, so we turned the lock around. No big deal was made, and no family newsletter to announce it or party to make fun of her for it. We don't even discuss it with her anymore. Just because you think your child can "handle" it, doesn't make it any more humane IMHO.
I think Lily was right when she said Decrease wanted his kids to obey, and i don't think she meant the way PP meant being Biblically submissive. We want our kids to know and obey God's Word, and follow the law of the land, since the Bible demands it. We also want them to obey us...the BIble demands this as well. But as they get older, there is no reason why they should not be able to respectfully question why we do the things we do...Mom, why don't you and dad allow me to go to that place downtown? Why do you think it is wrong for me to watch that kind of movie? If they are asking because they really want to see why you feel that way, that is fine. It is not okay to say "Everyone gets to go see that movie but ME! You are so unfair! You never let me do anything!"
okay, off my soap box for a bit longer!
Child refuses to do work!
Moderators: Theodore, elliemaejune
"The greatest sign of success for a teacher... is to be able to say, "The children are now working as if I did not exist."
- M. Montessori
Proud non-member of the HSLDA
- M. Montessori
Proud non-member of the HSLDA
Lily,
If you note in my letters I said that my kids have never missed a meal but except an occassional snack before bedtime (a tradition in our home). Yet, the meal is delayed. Comparing this to starvation, when I clearly noted this, is terrible.
The door is a natural consequence. When in College I had a wise professor who said, "If you don't like something someone is doing stop doing what you are doing to encourage it." It is natural in the sense that if you can't treat doors with respect then you do not have the privilege of a door any longer. You lose in our life what you abuse. If you abuse a door... you lose the door.
As far as embarrassing people, there is always peer pressure. If you note that I said you have to be wise in how you do this with each child. Let me be honest, when I was a kid this was the kind of discipline that effected me the most. I was not ruined. Yes, the "for all to see" is a display that the child does have to own up to their sin. Having been a boss, let me say that it is for that reason that I fired many a people while in management.
So, please stop using "starvation", for in my original post I alluded to and in subsequent posts I stated that my kids do not miss food time. The original post I said it could end in a stalemate, which meant that you may have to eventually feed the child. When I was a kid, I did miss meals due to being poor... my children only have delayed meals or lose their snack.
I think you like to nit-pick. Yet, the majority of people on this list agree with me. I think this is evident what I meant.
Yet, I find it interesting that you will not take a door off a child's room and place it in a living room but you will mischaracterize a stranger's words and accuse him of "starvation". So, you are afraid of hurting your child's psyche in one instance but wish to do so to a stranger in another when he was clear in his post.
If you note in my letters I said that my kids have never missed a meal but except an occassional snack before bedtime (a tradition in our home). Yet, the meal is delayed. Comparing this to starvation, when I clearly noted this, is terrible.
The door is a natural consequence. When in College I had a wise professor who said, "If you don't like something someone is doing stop doing what you are doing to encourage it." It is natural in the sense that if you can't treat doors with respect then you do not have the privilege of a door any longer. You lose in our life what you abuse. If you abuse a door... you lose the door.
As far as embarrassing people, there is always peer pressure. If you note that I said you have to be wise in how you do this with each child. Let me be honest, when I was a kid this was the kind of discipline that effected me the most. I was not ruined. Yes, the "for all to see" is a display that the child does have to own up to their sin. Having been a boss, let me say that it is for that reason that I fired many a people while in management.
So, please stop using "starvation", for in my original post I alluded to and in subsequent posts I stated that my kids do not miss food time. The original post I said it could end in a stalemate, which meant that you may have to eventually feed the child. When I was a kid, I did miss meals due to being poor... my children only have delayed meals or lose their snack.
I think you like to nit-pick. Yet, the majority of people on this list agree with me. I think this is evident what I meant.
Yet, I find it interesting that you will not take a door off a child's room and place it in a living room but you will mischaracterize a stranger's words and accuse him of "starvation". So, you are afraid of hurting your child's psyche in one instance but wish to do so to a stranger in another when he was clear in his post.
One more thing, I do want obedience but as I stated in my posts, we work diligently of getting proper obedience. Obedience as I defined it is "Doing what your told to do, when your told to do it, with the right heart attitude." Yes, I do want that. And I work very hard at fostering the right heart attitude. My kids love to obey me... why? We work on the latter more than we work on the former.
"The greatest sign of success for a teacher... is to be able to say, "The children are now working as if I did not exist."
- M. Montessori
Proud non-member of the HSLDA
- M. Montessori
Proud non-member of the HSLDA
"The greatest sign of success for a teacher... is to be able to say, "The children are now working as if I did not exist."
- M. Montessori
Proud non-member of the HSLDA
- M. Montessori
Proud non-member of the HSLDA
I don't know you or what you are about but I think you are reading into everything wrong!!!
I didn't say that he (GOD) doesn't care about how children are treated!!! You in your mind are saying that. GOD loves and cares about everyone.
I came on here today to tell everyone about something wonderful that had happened and you took that and ruined it!!!!!
If I recall Decrease said that they don't literally starve their children. I am new to this forum and haven't read any other posts by this person but I can say that you have issues that you need to deal with and quit accusing people of what YOU THINK they may or may not be doing.
Thank you for your time but I did not come on here to see people blast each other or get blasted my self, I asked for help and opinions on how to get my child to do or get interest in his work not what people think is child abuse or not. You are a hateful person and read into everything as being wrong. A Christian should see all sides of an issue or matter at take it what they may but not come at people the way you have. I have lost total respect for you and any opinions you may ever have. I stated before that I didn't think that some of the suggestions this person gave would work for my child as he may not be able to handle that emotionally but you just seem to have issues with everyone else’s views and can't look at the big picture. I am done with my rant and I will apologize to everyone else if I have offended anyone.
I didn't say that he (GOD) doesn't care about how children are treated!!! You in your mind are saying that. GOD loves and cares about everyone.
I came on here today to tell everyone about something wonderful that had happened and you took that and ruined it!!!!!
If I recall Decrease said that they don't literally starve their children. I am new to this forum and haven't read any other posts by this person but I can say that you have issues that you need to deal with and quit accusing people of what YOU THINK they may or may not be doing.
Thank you for your time but I did not come on here to see people blast each other or get blasted my self, I asked for help and opinions on how to get my child to do or get interest in his work not what people think is child abuse or not. You are a hateful person and read into everything as being wrong. A Christian should see all sides of an issue or matter at take it what they may but not come at people the way you have. I have lost total respect for you and any opinions you may ever have. I stated before that I didn't think that some of the suggestions this person gave would work for my child as he may not be able to handle that emotionally but you just seem to have issues with everyone else’s views and can't look at the big picture. I am done with my rant and I will apologize to everyone else if I have offended anyone.
"The greatest sign of success for a teacher... is to be able to say, "The children are now working as if I did not exist."
- M. Montessori
Proud non-member of the HSLDA
- M. Montessori
Proud non-member of the HSLDA
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