New member and sick of public education
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New member and sick of public education
My family's story with our children and public schools has just been a complete and total nightmare. We started our children in a pre-school program and up until now, it has been worthwhile. They both(4 and 3 years old respectively) are language delayed and receive services from a speech pathologist. We had a meeting last week at 5:30 p.m., whereby the teacher, speech pathologist, and elementary principal then proceeded to waste our time for 45 minutes talking about the kids and how they were doing, material we've covered two months before. We knew something was up and our suspicions were quickly confirmed.
It turns out that the school wants the boys, both of them mind you, tested for autism. We went home in shock and didn't even know what to think. We both cried and felt terrible. My wife then looked up the diagnostic criteria for autism in the DSM-IV. We then realized that they weren't using the criteria sheet at the meeting, but rather, a sheet about where a 4 year old and a 3 year old were "supposed to be" developmentally. The speech pathologist doesn't like working with early elementary students, and thus, something else just has to be the problem. They contradicted themselves continuously in the meeting. They talked about how the boys intereacted with others and were empathic, yet, those are traits that are largely devoid in autism. However, when you widen the disease to a "spectrum," then it becomes a catch-all phrase.
Then, get this-a day or two before the meeting, the teacher observed our children at the babysitter's house without our permission! No one informed us of this, not even the babysitter. Their audacity and lack of regard for the rules knows no bounds.
We are debating whether or not to send our kids to a private school or to home school. The latter option is what I'm in favor of and it's what my wife would like to do. It would make things tight at home for money, but we could pull it off. The school has completely and totally lost our trust. We have been very supportive of the school and have even purchased items for the teacher to use in the classroom. I even taught at the school for six years, before opting to teach elsewhere. My wife intends to give her thirty day notice, whereupon, we will pull our kids and do what is best for them. Our only regret is that we were dumb enough to trust them at all.
It turns out that the school wants the boys, both of them mind you, tested for autism. We went home in shock and didn't even know what to think. We both cried and felt terrible. My wife then looked up the diagnostic criteria for autism in the DSM-IV. We then realized that they weren't using the criteria sheet at the meeting, but rather, a sheet about where a 4 year old and a 3 year old were "supposed to be" developmentally. The speech pathologist doesn't like working with early elementary students, and thus, something else just has to be the problem. They contradicted themselves continuously in the meeting. They talked about how the boys intereacted with others and were empathic, yet, those are traits that are largely devoid in autism. However, when you widen the disease to a "spectrum," then it becomes a catch-all phrase.
Then, get this-a day or two before the meeting, the teacher observed our children at the babysitter's house without our permission! No one informed us of this, not even the babysitter. Their audacity and lack of regard for the rules knows no bounds.
We are debating whether or not to send our kids to a private school or to home school. The latter option is what I'm in favor of and it's what my wife would like to do. It would make things tight at home for money, but we could pull it off. The school has completely and totally lost our trust. We have been very supportive of the school and have even purchased items for the teacher to use in the classroom. I even taught at the school for six years, before opting to teach elsewhere. My wife intends to give her thirty day notice, whereupon, we will pull our kids and do what is best for them. Our only regret is that we were dumb enough to trust them at all.
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My nephew is Autistic. I think this diagnosis is used all to often when people don't want to take the time. I have been Homeschooling for 8 years, I run my own group and run a HS library. These problems are heard all to often. I am sorry this happened to you but the only way to stop the problems is to take control of your children's life. I had 2 children in public school. After abuse, neglect and a principal that had no clue where my son was ever I started homeschooling. Make sure you research homeschooling, read books, ask questions and be prepared. Homeschooling is rewarding beyond everything I have ever done. But it is time consuming, sometimes lonely and sometimes frustrating.
- elliemaejune
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"The greatest sign of success for a teacher... is to be able to say, "The children are now working as if I did not exist."
- M. Montessori
Proud non-member of the HSLDA
- M. Montessori
Proud non-member of the HSLDA
The reason why we are in such a tizzy is that we did our homework and found out that they are coming from a faulty premise in more than a few ways. First, they utilized a sheet of where a four year old and a three year old "should be" developmentally. Not being able to do a few things on that sheet doesn't equate to autism. Second, our children are very affectionate, do engage in imaginative play, and have a wide variety of facial expressions. Lastly, my boys do have language delay issues, which is commonly mistaken for autism. Thomas Sowell has some excellently written material about this which show that accurate diagnosis of autism in language delayed learners is very problematic. It's like having your mechanic try and help you with your garden. My wife is a working professional who utilizes the DSM-IV every day, the teachers don't. If they had the slightest clue as to what they're doing, and they don't, they would see the key factors are missing for the diagnosis.
Yes, we are getting an independent assessment done. Educational psychologists are a contradiction in terms if there ever was one(ed psych. is convenient fall back if you can't hack medical/clinical work) and is nothing more than a way to guarantee a label. Even if BOTH of my boys were autistic (the statistical probablity of that is another reason why we doubt their crack-pot thinking on this) they would be better served at home. The only "services" they would receive would be for the teacher to be trained to teach differently when it comes to them, in other words-reducing answes and other lame options which are only done to say something has been done.
Yes, we are getting an independent assessment done. Educational psychologists are a contradiction in terms if there ever was one(ed psych. is convenient fall back if you can't hack medical/clinical work) and is nothing more than a way to guarantee a label. Even if BOTH of my boys were autistic (the statistical probablity of that is another reason why we doubt their crack-pot thinking on this) they would be better served at home. The only "services" they would receive would be for the teacher to be trained to teach differently when it comes to them, in other words-reducing answes and other lame options which are only done to say something has been done.
"The greatest sign of success for a teacher... is to be able to say, "The children are now working as if I did not exist."
- M. Montessori
Proud non-member of the HSLDA
- M. Montessori
Proud non-member of the HSLDA
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I'm sorry for what you experienced. It sickens me the way the some schools treat children nowadays. Homeschooling is cheaper than private school, and if your children have delays that need to be addressed, they would benefit from that one on one attention.
Kudos to you for sticking up for your boys!
God bless!
Carletta
Kudos to you for sticking up for your boys!
God bless!
Carletta
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Autism isn't the worst diagnosis in the world. I work with an autistic man who is so well-adjusted that I didn't even know he was autistic until someone told me. (Some of his personal tics made a lot of sense in the light of that revelation, but I really had no clue.) With focus on the part of the parents, an autistic child can grow up to have a perfectly normal, mostly independent life.
That said, your kids don't meet the criteria for autism. You would have known by the time they were two-years-old.
That said, your kids don't meet the criteria for autism. You would have known by the time they were two-years-old.
I'm a nice enough guy, and if I say something hurtful I probably didn't mean it that way.
Semper Reformanda!
Semper Reformanda!
I have a nephew that is autistic. He goes to a special school for now and will be homeschooled next year. The local public school really really want him to attend their school. They want to put him in a classroom for special needs, dispite he being gifted. He would not have access to the gifted classes he could obviously handle. They would get off cheap not supplying an aid and mainstreaming him. He would pretty much be in a class with other disabled children bored to tears.
When it comes down to it they want him for the government funding. They would get somewhere around 18,000 a year for him. Over triple what they get for the average student.
I wonder how often children are encouraged to be tested and put in the spectrum for this reason.
Not saying this is what your public school wanted. I just wonder how often this is the case.
When it comes down to it they want him for the government funding. They would get somewhere around 18,000 a year for him. Over triple what they get for the average student.
I wonder how often children are encouraged to be tested and put in the spectrum for this reason.
Not saying this is what your public school wanted. I just wonder how often this is the case.
Firstly, I'm AMAZED that the school would do a visit and observation without asking your permission first. Ditto with the babysitter. So I would really follow this up to the top, and get an assurance that this will never happen again.
Secondly, I can understand that this would make you totally lose trust in that particular system. And rightfully so. So definitely, either a change of school, or homeschooling, are options for you to esplore.
The next issue is your concern about the 'autistic' label. This has obviously really shocked you both. My advice is, forget the labels. Every child is unique, whether they have learning problems, developmental problems, physical problems, etc etc. labels don't help. And especially the label 'autistic' - it is SO-O-O broad. Maybe Asperger's Syndrome might be something for you to research... it is on part of the Autistic Spectrum but people with Asperger's are actually often intellectually gifted too.
And lastly - you two sound as though you would make wonderful homeschoolers! It is THE most rewarding thing you can do, but also THE most time-consuming and hard-working. It's worth it though! If you don't go to bat for your own children - who will???
Cheers
Secondly, I can understand that this would make you totally lose trust in that particular system. And rightfully so. So definitely, either a change of school, or homeschooling, are options for you to esplore.
The next issue is your concern about the 'autistic' label. This has obviously really shocked you both. My advice is, forget the labels. Every child is unique, whether they have learning problems, developmental problems, physical problems, etc etc. labels don't help. And especially the label 'autistic' - it is SO-O-O broad. Maybe Asperger's Syndrome might be something for you to research... it is on part of the Autistic Spectrum but people with Asperger's are actually often intellectually gifted too.
And lastly - you two sound as though you would make wonderful homeschoolers! It is THE most rewarding thing you can do, but also THE most time-consuming and hard-working. It's worth it though! If you don't go to bat for your own children - who will???
Cheers
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