Perfectionism in young kids
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Perfectionism in young kids
To be idle is a short road to death and to be diligent is a way of life; foolish people are idle, wise people are diligent.
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Just a thought... With my 9 yo, rather than my sitting and correcting her work myself, I sit with her and have her tell/read me her answers (while I look at the answer key.) If she gets something wrong, I don't tell her she's wrong, but say something like, "this one is tricky..." and I lead her with questions or work on the white board so that she finds the correct answer herself and then fixes the paper. Then, when we're all done, we have a little ritual where I write at the top of the paper (in my "special, I'm the teacher, red marker") Excellente! (in Spanish with the two exclamation points) and she draws a smiley face (I used to do the smiley's too, but she's doing them now and it makes for a few minutes of silliness/relaxation.) This seemed to have taken away the stress of "right/wrong" and when we're done, the paper is completed perfectly. (And any mistakes that she did make, I know immediately if they were silly mistakes or she really didn't understand something.)
perfectionists
I realize that you posted this a long time ago, but I'm assuming your son is STILL a perfectionist . I searched the forum for this same topic as I'm having a hard time teaching my daughter because she gets really upset when she gets things wrong. Typically, her perfectionism manifests itself in mediocrity - she'd rather not try, than try and fail. She's extremely afraid of failure and takes very few risks. Now though, she gets real embarrassed in front of her siblings if she gets something wrong. She seems to feel that the oldest (10) shouldn't be getting things wrong!
ANyway< i found this helpful info on a website just today. It's aimed toward gifted children, but could apply to any perfectionist. It gives tips about ways to deal with your perfectionist since you can't change their personality!
I liked this idea the best:
Practice practicing. Find something that your child will have to work at. This may even be something that you know your child will be the worst at
They also say to emphasize process, not outcome.
http://www.geniusdenied.com/articles/Ar ... ?rid=11462
ANyway< i found this helpful info on a website just today. It's aimed toward gifted children, but could apply to any perfectionist. It gives tips about ways to deal with your perfectionist since you can't change their personality!
I liked this idea the best:
Practice practicing. Find something that your child will have to work at. This may even be something that you know your child will be the worst at
They also say to emphasize process, not outcome.
http://www.geniusdenied.com/articles/Ar ... ?rid=11462
Last edited by milehimom on Sun Oct 14, 2007 5:31 pm, edited 1 time in total.
milehimom
Education is not the filling of a pail, but the lighting of a fire.
Education is not the filling of a pail, but the lighting of a fire.
Good advice, if it works. It's been my experience that no amount of losing makes losing any easier, and games of chance are about the most irritating thing a perfectionist can play. Perfectionists have highly ordered minds, and being unable to control the outcome in any way drives them insane.
Speaking as a perfectionist, I'd much rather play a strategy game I know nothing about, than a game of chance I know everything about. The latter offers no scope for improvement.
Speaking as a perfectionist, I'd much rather play a strategy game I know nothing about, than a game of chance I know everything about. The latter offers no scope for improvement.
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