Advice on starting homeschooling at middle school

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Tigger's mom
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Advice on starting homeschooling at middle school

Postby Tigger's mom » Tue Dec 03, 2013 7:04 pm

Hi all,

I am a mom of four kids. The older two (aged 20 and 16) are off at college, leaving me with two at home. The older two went to Montessori school from preschool through elementary, and a high-ranking charter school for middle and high school. Both are highly gifted, and were bored with school. The 16 year old, in particular, dreaded school pretty much every day for the last 5 years he was there (which is why he's in college early). The younger two are also extremely bright, and are attending local charter schools, which each have great reputations, and both are miserable. I'm ready to pull them both out, and homeschool them, but my husband is reluctant. Our major concerns with homeschool are that I work part time (though mostly from home) and that by pulling the kids out when the going gets tough that we'll be encouraging them to quit when things don't go their way.

Child #3 is in 7th grade, second year of middle school. She tested into their Gifted and Talented program last year, but is currently failing every one of her classes. She's completely disengaged at school, isn't turning in either in-class or homework assignments, and is doing terribly on tests. I think the major problem for her is social. Middle school is a terribly stressful time, and she is having trouble with being teased and bullied. Girls that she considered friends are calling her "stupid" and an "idiot" for doing poorly. In response, I think she's afraid to turn work in, in case she does badly on it, which would prove her friends right. We've asked for help from teachers, have met with counselors, and are now trying to involve the principal. I'm beyond frustrated by the fact that the school seems to have no consequences for missing work, other than the poor grades. No teachers are having her stay after school, or have contacted us. Every time we contact the school, they say they're "dealing with it", but we see no evidence of that, and things are getting worse. We work with her at home, we leave her after school to attend office hours, we are doing everything we can think of, and aren't getting any support.

With our youngest child (4th grade), he's also very bright, bored in class, gets teased for being a nerd, and generally hates school. I absolutely love his teacher this year, but he still fights me about going to school most days. I volunteer in his classroom, and his teacher has been very accommodating about giving him alternate assignments when he's already mastered the work. He is definitely stressed and anxious, and has a lot of trouble sleeping. I'm worried that he's getting depressed.

My husband wants to make sure that we're not teaching our kids to run away from their problems, but I can't see that continuing to make them go somewhere they hate for several more years is going to do them any favors. He's also worried about the stress of homeschool on us parents, but I figure it can't be worse than dealing with kids who cry almost daily, fighting with them over busywork homework, etc. Has anyone else pulled out a child at middle school? Did it work? Both of mine have asked to be home schooled, so I know THEY would be willing. I'd like to try it out for the second half of this school year (January through May) and evaluate it then. Is a single semester a reasonable test period? I would REALLY appreciate any advice any of you veterans might have.

SuperGiaJ
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Postby SuperGiaJ » Wed Dec 04, 2013 9:19 am

Your husband may have a point about quitting when things get tough. The fact is school can't always be fun - there's work involved. Even as adults we aren't always doing job-related tasks that are enjoyable. But you learn to push through it, and deal w/ social issues :roll:

Kids are often interested in trying home-school, likely since they can stay home and not deal with social issues. But if you're already wrestling w/ them over homework, how will they do when you're acting as their teacher? Especially when other distractions (TV, video games, etc.) are in close proximity :D

With all that, if school is truly unbearable then it may be worth trying to home-school for 1 year. With many schools, classrooms are mixed up year-to-year and the children can always try going back then.

It's hard as an outsider to know what you should do, as you really know what's best for your family. But hopefully I've provided some usable feedback. Good luck!
Gia Johansen - IT & Education MatchMaker :-)
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Louise
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Postby Louise » Thu Oct 23, 2014 2:11 am

Hi Tiggers mom,

Was wondering what you did since last year December. Did you decide on homeschooling. If so how are you doing?

Tigger's mom
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Postby Tigger's mom » Thu Oct 23, 2014 5:02 pm


Louise
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Postby Louise » Fri Oct 24, 2014 1:10 am


Tigger's mom
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Postby Tigger's mom » Fri Oct 24, 2014 8:53 am


Louise
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Postby Louise » Tue Oct 28, 2014 4:10 am

You have been a wonderful help. I will keep you updated.

LLMom
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Postby LLMom » Mon Nov 10, 2014 11:24 am

I have never taken one out at that age, but I have put some in school at that age as well as homeschooled that age. It is good they want to be homeschooled because I have found middle school age very tough even without homeschooling them. If you have a good relationship (meaning they will do what you tell them without constantly arguing) then it should be fine.
Rest for the weary homeschool mom For burnt out homeschool moms, moms considering school, and former homeschool moms.


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