Crossing The Rubicon: We Did It!

[StaceyT]

Hi

I registered before but forgot what I used so I'm doing it again. When I first found this forum, I was looking for information about the whole concept. I spent awhile considering it, and finally decided to make a move.

My main fears were that because it's such a radical sort of move, that it was bound to be illegal, or something the state frowned on and would inevitably get CPS or someone nosing into my life, disrupting it, etc. I read enough to gather the concensus was that it's perfectly legal and 'not up to the state' one way or the other.

The direction I chose for my 8 y/o was unschooling, and homeschool not requesting permission from the state. I am in Louisiana. I managed to find a template letter and supplied the name of the contact. I felt a little unorthodox coming up with a name for the school - I don't consider myself or my household a "school" per se, so that was a little uncomfortable. I came up with Family Discovery Center off the cuff, typed out the letter and sent it off.

The next step was dealing with the school. We'd just moved to this location in February 07, BECAUSE of the school - it's considered top of the line, good school, great neighborhood - all the stuff parents are supposed to require yada yada. However, I had nothing but conflict with the school from Day One. My son got conduct reports daily, and the offense was never anything bad or unsavory - 99% of them had to do with him giggling in class, clowning, making faces - being 8 years old. He's super smart, would finish his work and then start horsing around. I repeatedly told the teachers to just *give him something else to do* and instead of this simple solution to keep him busy, they felt the correct move would be to leave him with his boredom and just send conduct reports every day about every little thing he did. That he was a conduct problem because he could not sit at the desk all quiet and rigid like a drone and obey.

I finally got fed up with the school and told them in no uncertain terms to stop sending these reports to me every time he giggles. The next one of these I get, he better have stabbed another kid in the head with a pencil or cussed out the teacher (not that I'd have blamed him, they were all so terribly -CENSORED-). The school had basically fallen into the Zero Tolerance Policy vacume and managed to morph into a school that doesn't tolerate children, period. I had confronted them often asking if they were even capable of corralling 8 year olds....if they're really this incompetant, perhaps they should find another line of work.

So when I'd sent off The Letter, I went to the school to pull my son. This had all culminated right at the first day of their LEAP testing...and I figured since we're doing this, and there's only a month left, I won't subject him to LEAP testing because it will no longer apply. The ones in the office handled it okay but I got a ton of looks as if I had been found out on the plans to rob the local bank. They called him from class, he turned in his things, got his belongings and we walked out...

My son was trying to wrap his head around it, which was amusing and cute: *you mean I don't EVER have to go back to school? Like NEVER EVER?* I said *Right, no more school.*

YAAAAYYYY!!!!

A few days later one of the school admins showed up at my door (we live directly across the street making this feasible but still unwanted). She began to interrogate me on what I thought I was doing, and why I had no legal papers to show her. I explained, politely at first, that I'd sent the required information to the superintendent and when they send the confirmation I'll let them know, as a courtesy...otherwise, they will have to get it themselves. She continued on with the chilly polite (ie. snotnosed) comment that it was gravely important for him to take these LEAP tests, so he could get to 4th grade. I explained this was a moot subject, as "grades" no longer apply. After a few more minutes of this I got annoyed and basically told her to take a hike, she can get the info from the state. And do not come to my door again, she has no right to do so.

I was a little nervous about this because she seemed to be completely unaware of any second option for homeschools NOT seeking state approval/permission - that the only one she was aware of was state sponsored that still followed testing and curriculum. I was a little concerned because if she wasn't aware of it, being admin of the school, then I might've stepped off into an illegal scenario listening to a bunch of people on the internet!

The first week I was sort of sketchy...waiting for CPS to show up and the cops or whoever to take me away or some nightmare sort of thing. On into April I got a letter back from the state. It was just a simple memo that my letter was received, that I would have to do it again in a year, and if I had questions call this number.

That was that. No trauma. No government goons surrounding the house. No media frenzy. And not another peep from the school. Since this was right at the end of the school year, I didn't immediately jump to set up some form of continued curriculum for my son - I let him have summer too. I bought 2 workbooks - one for 3rd grade, one for 4th grade levels and kept them handy as "fun books" (which he likes). He enjoyed summer and when school began this year and all his friends were getting supplies and uniforms, they were also telling him how lucky he was he didn't have to go back to school, they wished they didn't have to either.

His friends were incredibly receptive to the whole notion of never going to school, of course, and he gained a little popularity - he was the cool kid...the lucky one. Once it began, my son would go out and play during the afternoon with the neighbor's kid who's not in school yet, so people began to wonder why he's not in school. He'd proudly tell them "I'm homeschooled"...and instead of gasps and fireworks, I've had neighbors coming up to me asking about it, stating emphatically they don't agree with the school policies, don't feel the school is teaching much either, seems to be more abot social conditioning than education, and asking me how it works, how might they check into it, asking for resources, and how I handled that "out of the box" maneuvering since we've all grown up conditioned that we must attend school and "do school"...

My elderly neighbor had mentioned it to someone she knew who was homeschooling her kids already but did not like the state option.

So the concept, while "radical" seems to be every more popular. The school admin seems to be the group more opposed to it, despite having no say so in the matter. Parents, on the other hand, have been incredibly receptive and curious, and their kids seem to be trying really hard to get "homeschooled" too. He's outside at 3 when they come bounding across the street with loaded backpacks, and so far they all just grin and shake their heads and lament *dude, you're so lucky!*

As for curriculum...I have preferred Unschool. It's been harder for ME to unbrainwash myself, deprogram myself out of the "doing school" mentality, to adjust to him just taking each day as it comes and keeping a watch on what he takes interest in and facilitating that interest as far as he takes it. Some things he burns out on no sooner than he hypes up about it, but he's learning a lot....and I can definitely see the "self direction" staring back at me. I can see his core area of interest - he's constantly glued to the Animal Planet channel, and will do the Discover/History channels when they have programs about space, about snakes, about insects.

One thing I can offer, now from experience, is that at face value it's not going to look like they're learning much of anything - they'll be playing, killing time, watching tv, playing video games, playing with friends, riding bikes, but one thing to please consider is the reality that learning isn't an overt event. It takes place inside through a process in the brain as information is gathered and stored, and recalled later as needed. When anyone, child or adult, encounters something that is marked with a big unknown question mark, we'll *naturally* enquire about it, toward our inherent instruction to discover our environement. As information is made available, it's retained...and learning has taken place.

It's not about whether a child can recite the pledge of allegience or the times tables, or when he's expected to know something. We all learn as we need to learn, and when we find it interesting, it becomes self directed. Everything you learned that is relevant to you in life you learned almost certainly on your own, in your own time, at your own pace. If I polled most adults here about what they specifically learned in 4th grade in October, chances are 100% no one could remember.

So did you learn it at all?

Better yet, did you *retain* it?

If you're looking at alternatives, I suggest taking the step and trusting yourself to deprogram yourself from the "doing school" vice. A bonus is that the time spent with my son has paid off - he's happier, he's stable, he's warm and friendly, he's intelligent - and I'm there to see it flower. We're closer now than ever before and I can genuinly say it was directly because of my decision to just take the step and *do it*...

So good luck to you and here's to a whole new world of education!

[4given]

Sounds as if you're effecting much change in your neighborhood. Awesome! Thanks for sharing and congratulations!

[Mark]